BigDog ended a post with -- "I can't help it if I'm right about Y2K. Someone had to be."

Decker thinks Big Dog's tagline is even more obnoxious than Paul Milne's -- "If you live within five miles of a 7-11, you're toast."

So........announcing the "Most Obnoxious Tagline" contest!!!

The winner gets nothing. Second place gets a hard copy of 10 of Decker's most recent posts. Third place gets a hard copy of 20 of Decker's most recent posts.

-- OutingsR (us@here.yar), July 19, 1999

Answers

How 'bout:

"If I'm wrong, I'll have a small grocery bill next year; if you're wrong, you die."

Or maybe a Tom Beringer line from "Platoon":

"Everybody's gotta die sometime, Red."

Or:

"Hey Decker, not much nutrition in a basement full of rhetoric."

-- ace (x@y.z), July 19, 1999.

"I'm from the government office on the Year 2000 problem. Trust me."---J. Koskinen

"We've broken the back of Y2K."---Peter deJager

-- (Hallyx@aol.com), July 19, 1999.

Regards,

Decker

With a window in my stomach to assist in viewing the path before me !!

-- Ray (ray@totacc.com), July 19, 1999.

"If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum." -- Anonymous

(hereby waiving all prize awards.)

-- Tom Carey (tomcarey@mindspring.com), July 19, 1999.

"Springfield's nuclear power is completely y2k complaint." Homer Simpson, y2k certification specialist.

-- Sure M. Worried (SureMWorried@bout.y2k.coming), July 19, 1999.

-As with a souffle, the outcome of Y2K depends as much on luck as gallant effort. -

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), July 19, 1999.

Don't hate me because I'm better prepared than you'll ever be.

To the tune of the "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" commercial.

-- Gus (y2kk@usa.net), July 19, 1999.

-The Lard tells me he can get me owta 'dis mess, but he's prretty sure.....you're fawked-

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 19, 1999.

(sorry....can't risk second or third place)

-America is at an awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards!-

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 19, 1999.

No I got one all you doomer cultists can use:

"Helter Skelter"

Sound familiar you freaked out doomer whackadoos? That's right, your theology is nothing new under the sun. Chuckie already been there done that, went to jail, & is still there.

-- (doomers@suck.com), July 19, 1999.

So many polly trolls, so few comets......

"Doomer sucks" - whacha gonna spend all that money you're making here on?

And what's the pay scale for shill work?

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), July 19, 1999.

I think someone just won the one way trip to Gilligan's Island with Decker and all his baggage. (including the South American test-tube)

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 19, 1999.

"Oh no radiation was released. You don't have to worry about that"

-- Spokesperson for the Metropolitan Edison Company, reassuring Robert Reid(Mayor of Middletown, Penn), after the mayor was first informed of an accident at the company's Three Mile Island Nuclear Power Plant. March 28, 1979

taken from "the experts speak"

-- SuperLurker (Slf@yahoo.com), July 19, 1999.

there should be a comma, as in "Oh, no radiation was released"

-- SuperlLurker (Slf@yahoo.com), July 19, 1999.

". . . I believe it is peace for our time. . . Go home and get a nice quiet sleep." Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister, September 30, 1938.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), July 19, 1999.

On the explosion in Bellingham, Washinton, that killed 3 people: "This accident, while tragic, didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of being related to y2k in any way." -Flint

-- none (none@none.none), July 19, 1999.

"Last call . . ." Sam Malone

-- jjbeck (jjbeck@recycler.com), July 19, 1999.

Hey, I AM the winner, right? Didn't Decker declare me the winner? PLEASE, OLD GIT, don't tease me with 2nd or 3rd prize! If you have to do that, make me fourth ....

-- BigDog (BigDog@duffer.com), July 19, 1999.

Well, I have gotten both some positive comments and some flames about my tag...but at least CNN quoted it. :)

Jonathan

-A computer glitch will not bring about the end of civilization. It takes hordes of panicking people to do that.-

-- Jonathan Latimer (latimer@q-a.net), July 19, 1999.

Big Dog: this is a contest for the most *obnoxious* tagline. In the obnoxious category, you simply don't stand a chance against me....sorry.

Jonathan: climb down off of that Clinton News Network high horse you're riding......we need to talk my man 'cause you're crampin' my style here.

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 19, 1999.

wiseguy.......I offer any prizes to YOU bub.

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 19, 1999.

"You just never know"

scratchin'...

The Dog

-- Dog (Desert Dog@-sand.com), July 19, 1999.

You all will be relieved to know that the panel has looked at the entries thus far and declared no winners yet. Keep trying.

-- OutingsR (us@here.yar), July 19, 1999.

"No need to test it, I only added a few comments"

(You probably need to be a programmer to appreciate this one)

RonD

-- Ron Davis (rdavis@ozemail.com.au), July 19, 1999.

-It's the people who say you don't have to worry about it that you have to worry about-

Koskinen

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 19, 1999.

"At the stroke of midnight, the spell will be broken."

-Fairy Godmother, Cinderella

-- regular (zzz@z.z), July 19, 1999.

I like that regular....bipity, bopity, boo! jjbeck had a good one too! Quick.....double shot!

OKIE-DOKIE, you want *obnoxious*? Really foul? inexcusably ignorant?

"cowering in churches waiting for the world to end...determined to buy desert land and hoard gold, bullets and Skoal in their pickup trucks"

William Jefferson Clinton during the Fifth Millennium Evening at the Whitehouse

(beat that Jonathan 'CNN' Latimer):)

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 19, 1999.

"It won't be that bad, unless it gets bad, than it will really be bad"

sound familiar??

-- R. Wright (blaklodg@hotmail.com), July 19, 1999.

Hoooooohahahaheehehewheeeeeewwww. Darnit Wright, that's good. This is just too much fun, eh?

"What goes up, must come down. Spinnin' wheel, gotta go 'round. Talk about your troubles, it's a crying sin. Ride a painted pony, let the spinnin' wheel spinnnnnn":

-Because New Year's Eve 1999 falls on a Friday, businesses and governments will have Saturday and Sunday to fix any problems-

Cassell, GartnerGroup vice president and director of research. (whip that painted pony)

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 20, 1999.

Will, Clinton's quote was much better than Flint's gibberish. My hats off.

-- R. Wright (blaklodg@hotmail.com), July 20, 1999.

Heh.

I can compete with quotemeisters locally on TB2000, but of course I will fail miserably if your bring out the big Clinton-type professional spin-talk-meister gods. Clinton's *paid* to be a quote machine. He's got a huge staff to write all his quotables. I concede defeat in the face of much bigger, much better trained, and well-practiced guns. :)

Clinton gets quoted on CNN a heck of a lot more than I do. :)

Jonathan -A computer glitch will not bring about the end of civilization. it takes hordes of panicking people to do that.-

-- Jonathan Latimer (latimer@q-a.net), July 20, 1999.

Jonathan, from Big Fat Idiot and Bonkers forums, is running third right now. First and second, we can't make up our minds, tough call. Due to the fun everybody is having, the panel of judges has voted to add a fourth prize -- Decker READING all his posts to gagged and bound winner. We must have more suggestions, see if we can knock Jonathan into fourth place. Did we say multiple entries are allowed? A maximum may be set later.

Not an entry, just for inspirational purposes only:

(From Dryden's translation of Plutarch's Lives, corrected and revised by A. H. Clough.)

http://www.columbia.edu/acis/bartleby/bartlett/489.html

"Even a nod from a person who is esteemed is of more force than a thousand arguments or studied sentences from others."

Life of Phocion. (402? - 317 BC)

-- OutingsR (us@here.yar), July 20, 1999.

I figured that Jonathan must be from that place. It was the constant Beavis&Butthead-esque "Heh" that clued me. As always, OutingsR, thank you for spotlighting these morons. Saves a lot of typing on the part of legitimate Yourdon contributors.

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.com), July 20, 1999.

Don't panic. It's just ones and zeros.

-- biker (y2kbiker@worldnet.att.net), July 20, 1999.

You're gonna trade me WHAT for this roll of toilet paper?!?

It's late...I was hunting for something obnoxious, but it came out tasteless instead. sorry.

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), July 20, 1999.

Who is Gohn Galt?

-- Cherri (sams@brigadoon.com), July 20, 1999.

"I win by means of nothing but logic and I surrender to nothing but logic. I do not surrender my reason or deal with men who surrender theirs. I have nothing to gain from fools or cowards; I have no benifits to seek from human vices; from stupidity, dishonesty or fear. The only value men can offer me is the work of their mind. When I disagree with a rational man, I let reality be our final arbter; if I am right, he will learn; if I am wrong, I will learn. One of us will win, but both will profit.

-- Cherri (sams@brigadoon.com), July 20, 1999.

That fourth prize is about as appealing as a night in the Lincoln bedroom. -shudder- -cringe- -scary- :

-If things get THAT bad, we'll just head for your place-

-Rather than legislate more gun control to protect children why not begin snipping trigger fingers from newborns?-

-"We don't even know yet what we don't know about how Y2K will affect defense systems"-

Retired Lt. Gen. Albert J. Edmonds, former director of the Defense Information Systems Agency (Nov.'98)

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), July 20, 1999.

"We may not have got everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end." - Apple computers

-- biker (y2kbiker@worldnet.att.net), July 20, 1999.

"Past performance does not guarantee future results."

-- number six (Iam_not_a_number@hotmail.com), July 20, 1999.

These people have read Time Bomb 2000 and the materials at your Web site and, in some cases, have decided to quit their jobs and spend their life savings preparing for Y2K. But that's the least of it; I have received email reports of girls who've had abortions because they didn't want to raise a child in Y2K. I've heard from senior citizens on fixed incomes (they can't prepare, not they way your followers recommend!) who've lived in constant fear since this whole thing started. There have even been suicides.

Stephen M. Poole, CET

-- - (---@---.---), July 21, 1999.