Black & White

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TO Ye All:

My name is Black, Yes, John Black, my wifes name is White, Yes, Mary White. We live on a little ol farm called Archer Nuts and our closest neighbor is Lamb, Yes, Baer Lamb.A little further down the road is my other neighbor and his name is Choate, Yes,Wenn Choate.

In this little old valley called Sulpher Springs we all seem to get along just fine. But, very once and a while we have to visit over the mountains to the town of Hootowl, Yes Hootowl. The main road coming into town is calles Possium Creek road, Yes Possium, no Op.

I and Mary raise some chickens that we got from Mr.Bird, Yes, Mr Wrenn Bird. Mr Bird raises all kinds of things both animal and crops. You can buy anything Mr. Bird sells for a silfer dollar. Maybe 2 fer,3 fer 4 fer, and so. But, Everybodys has to have silver dollars around here to get started. Mr Bird is like the banker , the investment adviser and the goverment. He will lend or trade with anybody that comes here, If they have one thousand silver dollars to keep the prosperity going. He dosen't take the silfer dollars from you, no, no, You have to have that much in silfer just to get to stay in our valley. Most of us end up with the thousand silfer dollars year round anyway. Thats because thats way we do business around here. Sell 4 chickens fer one silfer buy one boar for 2 silfer dollars.

Oh yow. If you are thinking about coming here you had better bring twelve hundred silfer dollars,Becuz I for got to mention we have to pay the doctor and keep his hospital going with splints and medecines that he travels all over the place fer. The doctors name is Corn, Yes, Dr. Weidmann Corn. He keeps complaining that Mr. Foxx the blacksmith who makes his knives and things keeps going up in his prices. Well when it gets to when mr. Foxx won't trade without raising his prices, We all just pitch in and take him over a pig. a cow, a chicken, a rabbit and what ever else he thinks his labor is worth. Course we all make it back in selling him hay and feed for that raise. Things get back to be right toloberle then.

Some of you may ask, Why don't we have silfer quarters, dimes, and pennies and all that. Well becuz Mr.Bird grand father I believe said he went to a place called Scidmore and he just up and ordered his dinner from a place that was selling out her food supply, already cooked to, and when he got thro the lady sais that would be a a dollar and ten. Well he got so mad at her fer wanting a dollar and ten more on top of that he just gave her 2 silfer dollars and came on back home. Every since then he has said everbody only trades in silfer dollars. 1 fer 2-fer but noboby wants to give one silver dollar and ten more when he aint expecting it.

I promised a new fellar in the hollar to go fishing wit him. Hes a real nice mann Warden. Mr Jame Warden.

-- ace (ace9947@aol.com), June 09, 1999

Answers

Ummm... What the heck was THAT about?

And the moral of the story is: Never take monetary policy advice from someone who can't spell?

-- jxd29 (jxd29@hotmail.com), June 09, 1999.


Shit on that, you dumb hick! Take it from me, alls ya gotta do is shoot low when yers huntin fer some food. Yep, shoot yer load iner ground, an then all yers dreams will be set jes right!

Course, git yersef a good banker, theys'll keep a goodun eye on yer spread fer ya, while ya plink flies off'n the back wall by the see- ment pond.

-- Jed Clampet (Livingood@ bever.leee), June 09, 1999.


Another slow day at the office folks....?

-- GoTo (work@now.com), June 09, 1999.

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