Story in the news Sunday that the CIA is instructing the KLA in cyberterrorism techniques to hack Milosevics bank accounts. Great. And how long before the KLA realizes what a wonderful source of funding this could be? How long before they sell the techniques to say organized crime? Weren't they already implicated in drug trafficking as a source of income? Why doesn't the CIA just do it themselves, why the third party shit? This is the most moronic war in history we are waging, but what to expect when the "Big Three" aren't Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin but Bubba, Blair and Schroeder the Chickenhawks....

-- Bubba (BBB@bb.duh), May 24, 1999

Answers

January 3, 2000 WhiteHouse Steps President Bill Klinton & National Security Advisor John Koskinen

President Klinton: Fellow World Citizens of America. We are currently under cyber-attack by unknown terrorists. They have attacked our banking system and virtually all vital government computer systems. This is NOT, I repeat NOT a Y2K-related problem as many of you have feared.

Koskinen: Everything is fine. Y2K is a non-issue.

Klinton: Because of the extent of the attack, I have asked all states to activate the national guard which will be under the direct control of the UN Peace-keeping force lead by General Milesovic of the reformed Yugoslavian Army. There is no cause for alarm. All citizens will be asked to surrender all firearms and contribute any stored food for the common safety & care of all world citizens.

TAKE 2:

Klinton: Oops -- Y2K was really worse than we thought. We have no idea exactly how bad it is, but we do know that all government systems have failed and the world banking system is in total collapse. John -- can you comment?

Koskinen: Everything is fine. Y2K is a non-issue. Must be cyber- terrorism.

Klinton: Oh yeah -- that's it. Where is my list of executive orders?

TAKE 3:

Screen dark -- no power. Suddenly, light emanating from Los Angeles can be seen from New Jersey.

-- Dave (dave@nospam.pls), May 24, 1999.