Here is the link to the WND article:

Army Prepares for y2k Food Crisis

Ray

-- Ray (ray@totacc.com), May 24, 1999

Answers

Food or lack of: An excellent tool of control for a desparate mass of humanity.

The fact that the fedgov refuses to advise a population to prep NOW indicates, to me, a more questionable motive than just perception management.

-- Charles R. (chuck_roast@trans.net), May 24, 1999.

They may be watching you... ACT LIKE YOU AREN'T READING THIS! ARE YOU "DIFFERENT "? Then YOU ARE ONE OF THE CHOSEN -- and that's why this pamphlet has "accidentally" fallen into your Web browser!

EVEN MORONS KNOW: THESE ARE THE END TIMES!!

We have reached the juncture in history at which two previously impossible things have become technologically feasible: the destruction of all life on Earth, or Infinite Slack for everyone forever. Hopefully, these are two different things; but it's never too early to start being pessimistic.

ONLY J. R. "BOB" DOBBS STANDS BETWEEN " THE CONSPIRACY " AND TOTAL PLANETARY FREAKOUT!

A r e Y O U i n s h a p e f o r t h e "F I N A L S ?"

Then YOU MUST BE SAVED -- EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU!!

ETERNAL SALVATION

-- OR TRIPLE YOUR MONEY BACK

AT LAST -- IT HAS COME -- the final Do-It-Yourself END TIMES RELIGION for SWINGING MUTANTS & TERMINAL ABNORMALS!!

The Church of the SubGenius. The World's First Industrial Church "Breaking the Tolerance Barrier"

LIVE WITH YOUR SINS!! -- "Bob" Dobbs Can Show You How!

Caution -- May Be Habit Forming Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Under The Influence Of This Tract )1985 by THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION DOBBS-APPROVED THE "WORLD" IN TURMOIL Gotterdammerung?? -- Or a GODDAMN PARTY? Only the "Xists" from Galactic Central know -- but they aren't telling. We just might get used to not knowing the difference.

DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF SANITY BY THE CONSPIRACY'S FALSE REALITY AND THE PRESSURE OF A CRUMBLING WORLD?? THEN THIS MAY BE FOR YOU!!

You might be SO OUT OF IT that YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO "BOB" DOBBS IS. Even worse, you may not care! Of course, there's considerable pressure to keep you from caring whether you care or not, and it's so much easier to just let that weight keep you slowed down ... you're used to it... you can take it... it's a living ... you'll just go on about your job ... doing what you're told... ...because everything we say from here on out is going to sound like UTTER INSANITY to you; at least, if you're NORMAL it will... ...uh...

...you are NORMAL, aren't you?

WAKE UP!! Snap out of it! REPENT!! QUIT YOUR JOB!! SLACK OFF!!! ... if only for a second, that's all we're asking. Then you can go back to sleep, or to Hell.

YOU CAN LEARN TO THINK FOR YOURSELF -- BUT ONLY "BOB" CAN SHOW YOU HOW!!

INSTANT INSTRUCTIONS FOR THOSE WHO FOLLOW NO MASTER!! Technically, this organization cannot exist -- because it is composed of people who are not joiners. The only thing most SubGenius have in common is that they're ALL DIFFERENT -- and they have NOTHING in common with the C.O.N.S.P.I.R.A.C.Y.!! ( Cliques of Normals Secretly Planning Insidious Rituals Aimed At Controlling You) The SubGenius, because it does not "fit in," is actually better than everyone else!

OUR CREED: "Orthodoxy Is The Only Heresy" THIS INCREDIBLE NEW FAITH, AUTHORIZED TO BLASPHEME BY THE GODS THEMSELVES, IS THE FIRST ALL-PURPOSE BELIEF SYSTEM TO BE COMPATIBLE WITH MOST MAJOR WORLD RELIGIONS AND MANY WEIRD CULTS -- WITHOUT EXPENSIVE INTERFACES!!

THE QUEST: SOMETHING FOR NOTHING THE GOAL: WORLD WIDE SLACK SubPurposes: TO END DEATH, TAXES, HUNGER, WAR, DISEASE, AGING, and WORK * "As long as we must work, we are not free." -- J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

THE WEAPONS:

THE POWER OF ABNORMALITY, UNPREDICTABILITY, and THE WORD OF "BOB"

THE METHOD: TIME CONTROL TM

through Bullshattering, Morealism, Cynisacreligion, Sadofuturistics, and the Sciences of BULLDADA. and Stupidism..

THE MOTTO: "FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE."

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS TRUE -- therefore --

ONLY YOU can read what this means into it. YOU HAVE THE POWER!

"You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think." -- Dobbs, 1961

YES -- AFTER ALL THESE CENTURIES of organized "belief" -- a religion that finally comes out and admits that "IT" CAN'T BE SAID because "IT" IS WHAT IS BEING SAID AND DOING THE SAYING AT THE SAME TIME. "Those who know don't say, and those who say don't know." ( The Hells Angels)

"BOB" IS A SEX GOD!!

HE HAS COME AGAIN AND AGAIN TO RATIONALIZE YOUR SINS! You can lose your virginity -- and we'll STILL let you be a SubGenius!

ENTER INTO COMPLICATED PACTS WITH TERRIBLE ALIEN BEINGS!! EXPERIENCE THE TRUTH ABOUT THE SQUIRTING UNIVERSE!!

REGAIN YOUR LOST YETI POWERS As you undergo the unhallowed rites of Glandscaping and Acubeating, forbidden shapes from the shadows will be called forth... you will RELIVE your Inner Memories of past Reincarnalities in Atlantis, where you were once a fullblood Yeti, superior creation of our brothers from beyond the stars. Look perfectly normal while mentally practicing the lost arts of YETINTHROPY. and SCHIZOPHRENIATRICS. (not illegal in most states) !!

STAY TEENAGED OR YOUNGER WHILE MASTERING THE APPEARANCE OF ADULTHOOD!!

TEENS! 'UGLY DUCKLINGS!' Do you sometimes feel like 'rear dwarf in the dinosaur suit'? THAT'S JUST WHERE THEY WANT YOU. Peer pressure to 'fit in' and 'be popular' is THE CONSPIRACY'S BIGGEST SNARE!! Quit wishing you could be like those pink jerks -- if you're a 'loner', SO BE IT! 10 or 20 years from now, if you can avoid suicide for that long, YOU'LL GET THE LAST LAUGH! When those 'popular' creeps are 30 and have drab lives of passion-deadening security and boredom, you'll have gone through all sorts of interesting hell, paid your abnormality dues, and become a cool swinger, getting away with more wild shit than they ever dreamed possible -- because you didn't give up, and kept up the F.I.B. ("Faith In 'Bob'")! That's what we did, and now we're better and cooler than anybody else!

THIS IS THE KEY -- if you can reach the 17th page of this Pamphlet, then you will know that you are already Enlightened.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- SUBVERT FROM WITHIN OR WITHOUT -- THE QUICK, EASY WAY! POLITICS ARE A DEAD END!! The only hope left for human society is PATRIO- PSYCHOTIC ANARCHO-MATERIALISM: every person a Monarch, every yard a Kingdom, every child and dog a serf! COMMUNISM SUCKS and Conspiracy-style "Monopoly Capitalism" is a RUSE. "Bob" doesn't want everyone to be equally POOR -- he wants all humanity equally RICH!!! RICH!!! RICH BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS --WITHOUT WORKING!!! It's a Church of love AND money, AND SENSE -- Common Sense, Sense of Humor, and DOLLARS AND CENTS.

TURN WATER INTO GASOLINE Look at the word, "SubGenius." Anybody could "qualify." It has NOTHING to do with BRAINS; it's not the intelligence, it's how you use it. The SubGenius is not "just below a Genius;" he does not pretend to Super-Knowledge, but to SubKnowledge: knowledge of the Under Things -- the Hollow Earth from whose darkness issue the Nazi Hell Creatures and other Dwellers of the Abyss. It is in contemplation of the Under Things, the "underwear" lurking just under the "clothing" of Existence, that the SubGenii display what genius they have. The study of this substratum, the "foundation garment" underlying reality, is indeed the SubGenius's strength -- and, ultimately, its undoing as well.

KIDS -- you can know Drs. For "Bob"!!

HAS PEER PRESSURE MADE YOU A PRETEEN DOPE ADDICT? "BOB" CAN HELP YOU 'KICK' THOSE CONSPIRACY STREET DRUGS -- AND GET YOU HIGHER, CHEAPER!

Get off false pills and get on "Bob"! -- or get off on false pills with "Bob"! MORE DRUGS AND FREE PILLS

"Better Than The Bible"

When you take the PILS. that "BOB" sends you, everything seems to fall right into place as if by magic! Your Pink Human boss, date or teacher will be bound instantly under your THRALL... every customer will buy your sales pitch ... every cop will look the other way. Like the Zombies for "Bob" say (over and over again, every day), "MORE THEM KIND PILS, 'BOB'!" Like to smoke a little of what's in "BOB's" Pipe? Membership in the Church as an ordained SubGenius Minister makes you eligible to be on the waiting list for VAST SHIPMENTS of the LEGAL IMMORTALITY HERB, HABAFROPZIPULOPS (or "FROP" for short) -- the mind-inverting flower which grows only by moonlight on the graves and droppings of dead Tibetan holymen and fullblood Yetis. 'FROP is not only safer than your cheap Conspiracy street drugs -- it's PERMANENT, TOO. No more "coming down!" No matter how much 'Frop you ingest, YOU CAN NEVER AGAIN GET LESS HIGH. Interested?

"Your mind is a bowling pin. The PILS. are the ball. And only J. R. "Bob" Dobbs can bowl a PERFECT GAME." ( Hyperclessians 6:14)

-- ! (!@!.!), May 24, 1999.

well, ray, i for one am glad the army is working on this. i expected it, so it's not a surprise.

-- jocelyne slough (jonslough@tln.net), May 24, 1999.

OK, so like how much is this FROP stuff Dude?

-- KoFE (your@town.USA), May 24, 1999.

KoFE: Its tobacco. You send them $20 so you can read their newsletter and play their game, and you get one Marlboro cigarette in return. (get it - tobacco is part of "the Conspiracy") :)

-- a (a@a.a), May 24, 1999.

Don't know what that was up above ..... interesting opinions, no?

ANyway - the problem is, if anything more severe, or more widespread than a single area "hurricane sized" failure occurs, the Army can't help. It is simply too small, too little time to get enough together to help more than a trivial few.

Run the math - the entire army is less than one metro area - and suplying (1), then distributing food (2), and then preparing it (3) cannot be done for three meals (even pre-packaged) for more than 3 days.

Say 1 million people x 3 meals x 3 days = about 10 million rations. Just the cost (in people, drivers, loaders, and trucks, much less gasoline/diesel/forklifts etc) to move 10 million rations across country - if they were ready and already loaded - to supply 3 days is prohibitive.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), May 24, 1999.