the best and worst video

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What's your vote for the worst and best videos ever? Was there one that should have been on the lamest that wasn't? Is there a video that makes you scream? Which one makes your booty shake?

If you saw the show, did it make you like MTV again?

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999

Answers

I have to say that was the funniest thing I've seen on MTV in a long time. Pure magic. And I was never a huge Chris Kattan fan until now - - he was excellent. My favorite bit was when they handed him a big ass sombrero and a tiny guitar during the Gerardo video and he screams "What the hell is this!?!?"

My favorite video is one that a lot of people probably never saw -- Bjork's "Bachelorette" is incredible. Lovely, lovely video. And, though it pains me to say, I still get a little misty when I see "November Rain." Now THAT was a video.

Oh, as for the lamest, I have to saw that Billy Squier video was pretty damned awful. That's what happens when you let Kenny Ortega direct your video. All of a sudden, you're wearing a pink leotard-looking thing and prancing around like a low-rent cheerleader.



-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


C'mon! Rico Suave? Maneater?

They kicked butt. And don't tell me that everyone and their mother wasn't dancing in front of the TV when Ice Ice Baby first came out. Sure, hindsight is 20-20, but let's not shoot the videos because we're embarrased about hitting 'record' on the VCR when they first came out.

If so, we'd have to ban all the Men at Work videos.

How about that one video, "We Can Dance"? I forget who sang it.. 'we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance they ain't no friend of mine...' with the midget and children dancing around the May Pole...

I think there were some drastically worse videos.. I just can't remember them because I'd have to shoot myself if I couldn't stop them from cycling through my mind all day.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


rich-

that video is "The Safety Dance", by Men Without Hats.

and watch what you say about that video around Omar.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


Bite your tongue! That was "The Safety Dance!" by Men Without Hats. No one best speak ill of that video. It got me through many lonely pre-adolescent nights. (and the midget ruled. I think there are entirely too few midgets on MTV these days. What if one of the members of N'Sync was a little person? That would freakin' rock.)

o.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


I told you.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


Okay, everyone is going to totally hate me for saying this - well, at least the men, but I have to say that a lot of Shania Twain's videos are pretty lame-o!!

Her videos are not videos, they are all about her modeling and showing her stomach. Yes, she's a beautiful woman. Yes, she's got a great body. But is she only trying to sell her album to men? I am sure that if I was a man, I'd love it, but I'm so sick of Shania's stomach. She's got a great voice and if she just stood there and sang in the video, she'd make sales. Every man I know LOVES her video. Well, then play them on Playboy and make a decent video for the rest of people who do not want to see her modeling.

That's all I'm saying.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


Just my humble opinion: Best Video EVER - Van Halen, "Hot for Teacher" That video ROCKS! Sorry, but I totally dig the whole juvenille deliquent, bad boy thing, plus I LOVE Waldo...

Worst video: ANYTHING WITH MICHAEL JACKSON IN IT. I honestly cannot stand to look at that guy.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


I missed the first few videos from that excellent show so, I don't know if this one has already been mentioned - Sir Mixalot's immortal, "I Like Big Butts." While I must admit the song makes me fall on the floor laughing, it bothered me that the dancers were standing on a huge gold butt during the video. I found this odd and disturbing.

I loved Chris Katan screaming out "Vanilla! Vanilla!" when Vanilla Ice was coming at him with the bat.

I also found it funny that they were talking about these videos being taken out of rotation when MTV rarely even plays videos anymore (except for the Backstreet Boys of whom I have seen enough to last me a lifetime.)

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


My favorite video ever is Take On Me by A-Ha. I first saw it at a time when hunky men coming out of comic books and whisking me away was one of my dominant fantasies. (Now it's only an occasional fantasy.)

Worst video ever is You Oughtta Know by Alanis Morisette. When the song first hit the airwaves, I thought, "Wow! What a rocking song! I bet the video's full of cool, angry imagery!" Instead, it's Alanis rolling around in a field. Huh?

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


I have to admit that I was a little upset by "Maneater" being on the list. The song ruled. I guess it was a crappy video... I just love that part where Daryll Hall is in profile and singing the chorus then for emphasis at the end he turns to the camera and sings, "...she's a maneater!" That rules! No bands are that cheesy anymore.

One of my favorite videos of all time(and anyone who knows my taste in music will be suprised by this) is that Daft Punk "Around the World" video. GENIUS!

I think that the worst video of all time has to be Daivd Bowie's "Ashes to Ashes." This was one of the first videos on MTV. It seemed like the director was banking on that whole Ziggy Stardust thing and it just didn't translate. Kick Ass song, bad video.

Can anyone else think of terrible videos that were made for great songs?

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999



Actually, I was really diappointed by the Hooter's "Where Did the Children Go" video.

I had scripted the entire video in my head when I first got the album.. cool imagery, fade ins, fade outs, black and white with color inserts, band members as ghost images behind the scenes.. God, it was phenominal. But they went and ruined my dreams. I tell you, my video was awesome. That's why theirs sucks so much.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


I caught the show during the last 10 lamest videos. I could not stop laughing. I also was not a big Chris Kattan fan before this, but he was hysterical.

The Eddie Murphy/Michael Jackson video was by far the worst one that I saw. Anything with Michael Jackson in it is usually bad.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


Maggie: Shania Twain uses her body to sell to men and her lyrics to sell to women. "Any man of mine, he better stay in line," and all that crap. Well, that's the theory anyway.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999

Hey Big Joe -

Yeah, I understand what you wrote, but women watch videos as well and it's annoying when the whole video is about her stomach. Maybe she could have made the video about something interesting, which would get women insterested in watching and still show her stomach, which would keep the men happy.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


I've seen quite a few of Shania's videos and I can tell you quite honestly that it's not her stomach I'm looking at.

Here's a video flashback: MTV was promo-ing U2's "The Fly" video. Bear in mind, this was a few years after Rattle and Hum and us loyal fans hadn't heard anything from them since. They made it sound in the commercials for the premiere like a heartfelt ballad or something.

I tune in, VCR set to record, and next thing I know I'm being pummelled by guitar riffs and crazy strobe light effects. I went "whatthefuck!?!" Of course, I grew to love "Achtung, Baby," but those first few moments was like finding out your mom's a stripper or something. I thought, "Guys, what are DOING!?!"

Ahhh, MTV... Where have all the good times gone?



-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999



Oh, about that last message -- I didn't mean to imply that I have any way of knowing what it's like to find out your mom's a stripper. I have never had that experience myself, and I don't know what possessed me to say that and... shit. Just never mind, okay?
Just... never ... mind.
Omar (trying to beat Chuy to the punch before he makes a nasty comment)

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999

I think that the best video of all time is Weezer's "El Scorcho". I think that they played it once. Followed closely by Radio Head's "High and Dry". What exactly is going on in that video? What is the story? I need linear editing, please.

Of course, I just got cable 2 months ago.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


Well, a big high five to Helene- "Take On Me" is my favourite video of all time, too! It's impossible to hear that song and not be immediately cheered up. And even though the vid's nearly 14 years old, it still stands up graphically. I also have a huge soft spot for (oh, pity me) "It's a Beautiful Life" by that Norwegian band that looks just like ABBA- Ace of Base? Ohhh man, the imagery rocks so hard. I've looked at it frame-by-frame and never get tired of it. The song isn't nearly as good as the video.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999

Being Canadian, I don't get MTV, but every year, Muchmusic celebrates the worse videos of the year by airing a show called Fromage 199X. The show is hosted by an ex-VJ doing a bad french accent and introducing the bad videos. After watching the Fromage show you can't help but ask yourself what the hell were these people thinking. Many of these videos are not small cheap indy band videos, but videos by big time bands.

You people in the US have it easy, you only have to contend with bad English and Spanish videos, while Canadians get all your exports AND videos from the land of bad videos....QUEBEC. Regardless of whether the video is in english or french, the videos are BAD.

I can't think of what videos fall under the worst or best, but what gets under my skin is when a band makes a perfectly good video and then hit big time and produce this crappy video that no one in their right mind would watch.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


I wasn't able to watch the whole thing, but seeing Eddie and Michael together was quite enough, thank you. "What's up with you"-- no Eddie, what's up with you?! You used to make fun of Michael Jackson with a torrent of curse words and then you're singing some happy-crappy duet with him and getting a little too close to his face for my comfort level. I swear I thought they were going kiss.

As far as worst video ever, oh it's just to hard to choose. One of my current least favorites is this rap video (I forget the artist) that has something to do with 'rough riders'. "Stop, drop, shut 'em down open up shop", I think that's what they're saying. Anyway, since when did urban gangsta's become so in love with backwood's redneck culture? They're riding four-wheelers, there are lots of shots of dogs on big ass chains barking for no reason. I guess this is what happens when professional wrestling makes a comeback.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999


I hate the video for Metallica's Unforgiven.

Nothing beats Spike Jonzes' "Sabotage" video... except I really like Spike Jonze's "It's so Quiet" video... and Spike Jonze's "Buddy Holly" video.

Mark Romanek (sp?) makes some nice videos as well (which is I guess why he won the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard award a few years ago). Michael used to have good videos.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 1999


Oooo, I hate the "Unforgiven" video as well. It is scary and more depressing than that Eddie/ Michael video. You know, I thought they might kiss too! What was "up" with THAT? And had anyone ever heard that song, ever? I thought it was a joke and that MTV had spliced this video together. It gave me a little flashback when they were talking about his other video for "Party All the Time," in which Rick James played a prominent role. Rick James...he's superfreaky.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 1999

The worst, and I mean absolute WORST video for me ever was "She's a Beauty" by The Tubes. Not only was it torturous to watch, but we had just gotten cable TV installed when it was in heavy rotation on MTV. (And they only had four videos to choose from back then.) "She's a Beauty" on MTV and "Poltergeist" on HBO, running in endless loops.

I have to agree that "Take on Me" is still the best video ever. Pretty Norwegian guys all sweaty and animated with cheekbones you could cut yourself on. And that high, high note on "In a day or TWOOOOOOOOO!" Ah. a-ha!

Although "Cool Places" by Jane Weidlin and Sparks was fantastic, too, but I think I'm the only person in existence who remembers it.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 1999


Ugh. "she's a beauty." that video was terrible. And it was on heavy-rotation. I think that was about the same time I kept catching the B-52's doing "Legal Tender." That video scared me. To an eight year old, Fred can be a very terrorizing human.

I loved the "thriller" video so much as a kid I knew every step to the dance. If you get me drunk enough these days, I'll still show it to you.

I'm glad we're all over C&C Music Factory. Today they still make you say "Hmm..." as in, "Hmmm... what happened to them? That's a good question. Hmmm.."

Remember the "18 and Life" video? Ha! Sebastian Bach with his pretty hair and drool problem where he kept having to suck on his lips while he sang.

I still think "Cherry Pie" is the most disgusting video ever. Terrible. Ick. Bleaugh.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 1999


Ok, Cherry Pie, while being quite sexist and piggy, is not nearly the worst ever. Does anyone remember the "Rumpshaker" video? Or um....pick some pornographic rap video. Does anyone else get annoyed that almost EVERY rap video (even ones by Missy Elliot, who should know better) has some almost naked woman running around shaking her ass in the camera and jiggling her boobies and acting like her sole purpose in life, the only reason she exists, is to BONK the oh-so-attractive lead 'singer'? What about that LL Cool J video where there's all those women in fuzzy bikinis writhing on a fur rug, just panting for their "Lova" to come do them before he runs off the the next ho? What's up with the videos where some butt-ugly freak boy has scores of naked women in his hot tub eager to wash his...toes? Why do rap videos and music have to put women in this blow-up doll position? And what about the superviolent rap, where people are running around with guns in their hands, talking about killing and getting high and celebrating being evil? Am I the only one (besides Jerry Falwell) who thinks this is maybe not such a great thing? Ok, now I sound like a member of some ultra extreme Christian coalition or something. I'd like to point out that I'm young, I'm not any religion, and I'm not into crusading against "moral outrages". But I'm telling you, it's disgusting to listen to some nasty hoodlum boasting about his "bitches and ho's who do what he wants, suck his *beep*, *beep* his brains out". It's revolting. And I'm so sad that there are women out there who really do buy into that shit and let themselves be treated like that. Ugh. Please, no hate mail. I'm just trying to point out that there are many worse videos than Cherry Pie.

By the way.... Did anyone notice the absolute absence of rap videos in that countdown? The real ones, not the ones done by geeks like Arsenio.

MellieBee

-- Anonymous, May 11, 1999


Actually, I was thinking about how it was called the 25 Lamest Videos but we only saw 10. This is because it was done by voting on mtv.com, and I'm sure the other fifteen nominees were videos like, "Everyboy (Backstreet's Back)", "Rumpshaker," "Thank U," that new Metallica video, and other stuff that MTV can't take off the air because they still get paid to air them. Notice they didn't even mention the other fifteen. Who remembered Chunky A enough to nominate? it seems that hardly anyone remembers that Eddie Murphy video. Obviously there was a bit of a panic when they realized we weren't all nominating Tiffany and Debbie Gibson songs.

"We can't take down the Jay-Z video. It's our buzz clip!"

-- Anonymous, May 11, 1999


Huh... the version I saw had all 25 and did include Debbie Gibson, Warrant, 4 non Blondes, MC Hammer and others. One of my favorite bits was Chris Kattan trying to figure out how to do the 2 Legit 2 Quit hand signals. Funny stuff...

What about "What's My Name?" by Snoop Dogg. I dug the song, but do you remember that little opening scene before the song. "You don't love me... you just love my doggiestyle."

Why snoop doesn't do more acting, I will never know...



-- Anonymous, May 11, 1999


Hey Spitzka -- a fellow Canadian! I have suffered through many a "Fromage" waiting for a good *bad* video, and they rarely come. I remember one year (I think it was 97) one of those French Canadian bands won Fromage runner up for a video in which they all wore colored t-shirts and whipped falafels at each other. That was the whole video.

But hands down worst of all time must go to Sting for his "I'm so happy I can't stop crying" video, in which he sports a ridiculous pompadour shaved bald at the sides, and rides silver horses through the air. What were they thinking? Oh yeah -- "Touch Me" by Samantha Fox is right up there too -- that guy she makes out with on stage is just plain gross.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 1999


I have to say that I would rather watch a whole slew of corny (even just plain BAD) videos that I can a least get a laugh out of than any of that other crap MTV tries stuff down our throats: Real World, Road Rules, The Blame Game (oh god), Spring Break (kill me now)and all the other stupid shit they show when all I really want to see is a video. I remember when MTV was broken into 4 categories - Pop videos, Headbangers Ball, Yo MTV Raps and the news. Am I dating myself?

Speaking of bad videos "Hell is for Children" by Pat Benetar. Need I say more?

-- Anonymous, May 12, 1999


Bad vids: Anything by Erasure. They are so cheesy that they are only played in Brass Plum at Nordstroms, while 14-yr-olds try on clothes. And I love Erasure. This hurts me.

Good vid: The best two, imo, are "Fields of Gold" (Sting) and "Always the Last To Know" (Del Amitri). Both are eye candy!!

If you people really like "Take On Me" you should try the 5 other A-Ha and 4 solo albums. :)

-- Anonymous, May 12, 1999


Right on. If I have to watch another bunch of twenty-somethings disgrace their generation, I am canceling my cable. That goes double for The Backstreet Boys and all their obvious counterparts. Speaking of them, what's up with all the "I wish I was black" hand waving and arm motioning they do while they're singing? All the chest pounding. What does it all mean? "I'm emotional"?

And what about the general decline of R & B? Can Brandy please put out another song that sounds exactly like the one before it? Who is writing these songs? They mean nothing. R. Kelly and Babyface? If I were Aretha Franklin, I would call a meeting and kick some ass.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 1999


WHOOO HOOO Right on Allison! I totally agree. Whenever those Backstreet Boys/Nsync videos come on I always do that "I'm a rapper" arm move thing along with a good fist to the chest to make my husband laugh. It always works! The sad thing is, those moves are sooooo predictable you can pretty much imitate the video without really trying!

By the way, I just heard "Breakin' the Law" by Judas Priest, talk about a CHEESY video...

-- Anonymous, May 12, 1999


I'm sitting here trying to remember the video(s) that I think are extremely bad and/or lame.

hmmmm, how about jesse camp's new one...oh wait. Mtv bought that one for him. yikes.

oh god, speaking of MTV bought videos, how about silk-ee's video that they shot in a day. she was the winner of "THE CUT," for no real apparent reason other than she's a lauryn hill wannabe. that has got to be one of the lamest videos i've ever suffered. but there are many more.

Anyone remember the Nik Kersahw video. I can't recall the name of it, but i absolutely adored him in my young and closeted age. He was walking around some farmland as an alien and tv footage was broadcast across his body.

okay this was much longer than i expected it to be. yikes.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 1999


My best video? "I'm Afraid of Americans," David Bowie and Trent Reznor being all spooky, following each other around. A deeply cool video.

The worst? Someone else mentioned "Headbanger's Ball," which once upon a time I watched religiously. I loved it and everything, but those heavy metal videos could be really, really bad. One of the ones I liked as a kid showed up on "Beavis and Butthead" a few years ago and all I could do was cringe...How about "Screaming in the Night" by Krokus? Pseudo-Dungeons and Dragons imagery and lots of guys with big hair. Oooooooh.

As for these days, I think the video for "Celebrity Skin" is cool, with all it's rockin' guitars and smiling blondes. I love that Courtney Hole!

As for DMX - I think the man is deep in the closet. Think about it: riding those obviously phallic crotch-rocket motorcycles, throngs of muscular, shirtless men packed together, weightlifting scenes...and the lyrics! "Stop, drop, shut 'em down open up shop..." he might as well be saying "bend down, reach around go to town."

I saw the show, and I liked it fine. That mango guy is funny, and the Stewart/Garafolo/Leary trinity was inspired. But the beloved MTV of my childhood is gone. End of story.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 1999


OK. The first video that comes to my mind is "Been Around the World" by Puff Daddy,Notorious BIG, & Mase. I'm talking about the FULL video, not the edited version they showed after it was obvious that no one was feeling the song. It starts off with Quincy Jones calling Puffy to give him some kinda spy assignment, of course Puffy is taking the call while relieving himself on the toilet and reading a Vibe magazine that features .... Puffy on the cover. Then he meets Mase who gives him a briefcase full of all the necessarry spy equipment (like condoms, breathmints, etc.) they get on a plane and the song FINALLY starts then stops after one verse because Wyclef (?) has broken onto the plane and is attacking Puffy & Mase. They jump out of the plane and land in the desert where a group of Arabians(I think) recognize Puffy (of course - they must have been reading the same Vibe magazine) and take him to his final destination and the song starts up again. After dancing for another verse (because what good spy doesn't get jiggy wit it) Puffy spots Jennifer Lopez and the song stops AGAIN so they can break into this wierd Lambada The Forbidden Dance thing! Then Wyclef (remember him) tries to poison Jennifers' glass of Crystal. Puffy saves her and wakes up ... it was all a dream (INSPIRED!!! HOW ORIGINAL!!!) To top this all off, it hurt me personally to realize that Puffys' wife in the video is Pam Grier (... damn)! As far as old MTV - the worst has got to be Round and Round by RATT with a cameo by Milton Berle (in and out of drag) I guess the best videos would be (today) Doo Wop by Lauryn Hill and (back in the day)Hey Ladies by the Beasties Boys, for the same reason. Both videos perfectly visualize the lyrics and (especially) the grooves of the songs.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 1999

"Take on me" always makes me smile too, but not for the same reason. One of the highlights of my youth was seeing them "Live" on Countdown (an Australian music show) and the camera going around the back of the keyboard that whatsy, you know the blonde one, was going wild on, and seeing the plug lying neatly unplugged down the front.

Ah, those were the days..

-- Anonymous, May 15, 1999


okay, the best best best part of the whole worst video thing was denis leary drinking the don johnson shake! i mean, come on! if you didnt laugh and cringe, you must've been outta the room, it was soo damn funny!

-- Anonymous, May 17, 1999

one of my favorite videos (that you dont see much anymore) is "All I Want Is You", by U2... kinda cheesy.. but cool.. set in a traveling circus.. midget falls in love with trapeze girl.... who loves other guy... midget flies.. trapeze girl dies... u2 walks on the beach.. cool video...

-- Anonymous, May 19, 1999

I love Bjork videos, and I also like that Esthero video for Heaven Sent . . . it's different.

The worst videos are probably for all those cheezee 70s and 80s songs . . . Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" actually made me a little nauseous . . . hideous, overweight, poofy-haired metalheads in pink frills 'aint a pretty sight.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 1999


OK, I know this forum topic is a year old and I need to go to bed, but I just thought of a video that really ticked me off. I love the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" (though I never remember who sings it). As you probably know, it has lyrics that go "Turn around, bright eyes." Well, I remember catching at least the end of that video, at it showed the female singer walking outside and being surrounded by zombie-like children with GLOWING EYEBALLS, like some silly sci-fi movie. Whoever wrote and directed that video are idiots--that's NOT what they were singing about!!!!

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

I'm embarrased to say... but that version of Total Eclipse of the Heart was done by Bonnie Tyler.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

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