"You've got guys going around now in small cars with 15-inch speakers and 1,000-watt amplifiers blaring out music," Judge Paul Sacco told reporters at his Noise Aversion Therapy Center in Fort Lupton, Colorado. "I'm just trying to teach them that it's wrong to impose your musical style on someone else. I mean, I like the music of Elton John, but I'm not going to ram him down your throat."

Since December, Judge Sacco has been ordering people convicted of violating the city's noise ordinance to attend his Aversion Center in City Hall, where they are forced each week to listen to music they hate. "The offenders are almost all young, so there is a heavy dose of lounge music, plus bagpipes, plenty of John Denver songs, and some Navajo flute music. A typical evening might begin with Wayne Newton singing 'Danke Schoen,' followed by Roy Rogers and Dale Evans duetting on 'Happy Trails to You' and Tony Orlando and Dawn with 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree,' and end with Roger Whittaker singing 'I'm Going to Leave Old Durham Town.' Oh, and my own jazz compositions are particularly unpopular, so they always get plenty of those. And if they fall asleep, their eyes will be pried open."

Sacco's claims that his aversion therapy works were backed up by offenders. "I'm not going to jam no more," said seventeen-year-old SWC after attending two sessions. "I took my stereo out of my car already. I don't want to be hassled no more. If you don't pay attention they cite you for contempt. They're playing Dean Martin in there and it's not nice." (San Francisco Chronicle, 6/3/99. Spotter: Bill Evans)

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), May 02, 1999

Answers

So, A Clockwork Orange was a prophecy-come-true huh?

-- INVAR (gundark@sw.net), May 03, 1999.

Andy,

That was terrific. A great break from the acion. Had tears in my eyes. Hope Meerkat doesn't spot this one. Wish Sacco was our Attorney General!

-- Gordon (gpconnolly@aol.com), May 03, 1999.

ANDY:::

WHile I did laugh, you coulda addressed it differently. After all, the boss steps in and does his duty as a bouncer in this here pub, and you invite the miscreant back in!!!!

SHEESH

C

-- chuck, a Night Driver (rienzoo@en.com), May 03, 1999.

Aahh Chuck he just needs a whack with a two by four! Anyway, it's past his bedtime haven't you noticed :)

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), May 03, 1999.

"....I was cured,all right....

-- zoobie (zoobie@zoob.zab), May 03, 1999.