OT - A little morning levity - or, Come Back Bill Clinton All Is Forgiven :)

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

I thought you guys might get a chuckle out of this like what I did, enjoy!

Recently, Dan Quayle announced his intentions to run for President of the U.S. in 2000. Since the average attention span in the U.S. is about as long as the average sitcom, and since many younger voters and y2k pro may not have been watching the news when these immortal soun bites were said the first time, we provide you with this list of famous Dan Quayle quotes.

Please spread these to as many people as you can, so that we might stop this lunacy before it gets out of hand. Thanks, and enjoy.

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didnt study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

-- J. Danforth Quayle

If we dont succeed, we run the risk of failure.

-- J. Danforth Quayle

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89

What a waste it is to lose ones mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nations history. I mean in this centurys history. But we all lived in this century. I didnt live in this century.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is to be prepared.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89

May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world.

The Quayles 1989 Christmas card.

[Not a beacon of literacy, though.]

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/30/88

I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good judgments in the Future.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

The future will be better tomorrow.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

Were going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/21/88

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

I stand by all the misstatements that Ive made.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89

We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

Public speaking is very easy.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88

I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/22/90

For NASA, space is still a high priority.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/5/90

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/18/90

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

--Vice President Dan Quayle

Were all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.

--Vice President Dan Quayle

It isnt pollution thats harming the environment. Its the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

[Its] time for the human race to enter the solar system.

-- Vice President Dan Quayle

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), April 10, 1999


Let us not forget him telling a spelling bee contestant that he should add an "e" to potato.

-- Floyd Baker (fbaker@wzrd.com), April 10, 1999.

And we wonder why Slick Willy was elected.

-- Bill (y2khippo@yahoo.com), April 10, 1999.

Thanks Andy, I needed that!!! I think he'd make a great commander in chef.

-- spun@lright (mikeymac@uswest.net), April 10, 1999.

I'm not laughing, I'm cringing. I remember the "lose one's mind" quote, but are all of the others REALLY Dan Quayle-isms? Source?


-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), April 10, 1999.

Don't be too hard on Dan. Now every kid knows how to spell potatoe.

-- Jubilation T. Cornpone (qwerty@humor.com), April 10, 1999.

Is the former veep actually residing inside his body??? I have serious doubts.

-- Andophile (yes I am) (clarity@telebot.net), April 10, 1999.

Alas FM they are all on record - bizarre but true! - and yes, apologies to all, I FORGOT the POTATOE incident!!!

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), April 10, 1999.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ