Ch. Sun Times

Excerpt:

"Consider just some of the opportunities awaiting various millennium babies around the world:

* In Canada, a graphic arts company has already snared the United States trademark on the term "Official Millennium Baby," and is working with other companies to provide a slew of prizes to be awarded to the family of the first child born in North America in the new year/century/millennium. Their goal is to offer a grand total of $2 million in cash and prizes to the lucky family that produces kid No. 1 of Y2K.

* In England, a documentary called "Birth Race 2000" will chronicle the efforts of 10 British couples who are hoping to have the millennium baby.

* In Auckland, New Zealand, 100 couples will check into 100 rooms at a posh hotel on April 9 and attempt to conceive. In a scene straight out of Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)," in which a play-by-play man described a honeymoon night as if it were a sporting event, a radio station will provide live updates on the couples' efforts--but only during "breaks in the action," so to speak.

* Radio stations in Atlanta and Washington are putting together similar contests.

* A Web site, babycenter.com, has put together a special section for couples who want to have a millennium infant. The Web site is selling $50 Millennium Conception Kits, which include massage oil and candles, and an ovulation-o-meter that gauges the best time to conceive.

* Companies in Ireland, Spain, Japan and elsewhere are also offering big prizes to their respective millennium babies. There have been reports of couples who say they are willing to fly to the International Date Line and undergo a Caesarean section in order to guarantee that their baby will be the first to arrive. (Finding a doctor and a medical team who will assist in such an ethically dubious proposition might be another matter. Physicians are not supposed to schedule deliveries or induce birth for reasons of convenience or, one presumes, winning a big prize.)

-- Deborah (infowars@yahoo.com), April 09, 1999

Answers

Well, let's hope they stock up on cloth diapers (Sears still sells those) and a how-to book on breastfeeding. My son was born in 1977. I was a naive 19-year-old who breastfed and said "No" to Pampers in order to survive on a small budget. In 1977, that seemed old- fashioned to most middle class folks. But hey, I was broke and my son turned out fine, thanks be to God. Anyhoo, these DGIs who think it would be so cute to have a baby next January first are gonna be wailing and gnashing their teeth if Junior suffers hunger and cold due to their lack of preparation.

-- Clothdiapers Breastmilk (1958@1977.myfirstborn), April 10, 1999.