Dog Haiku

I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be

Today I sniffed Many dog behinds-I celebrate By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm! Paper boy-come to kill us all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm! Garbage man-come to kill us all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush . Hello, Spot- Sniff this and weep

How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug.

My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle

I Hate my choke chain- Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin On your foot -no greater bliss-well, Maybe catching rats

Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you as much I do

The cat is not all Bad-she fills the litter box With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence-why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating.

My owners' mood is Romantic-I lie near their Feet. I fart a big one.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), April 07, 1999

Answers

Thanks Old Git, but I'll stick with my attack cats! http://www.artbell.com/cats.html

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), April 07, 1999.

Old git - Classic!! And they wonder why we call them man's best friend...... Ya gotta love dogs!!

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), April 07, 1999.

#26 - Old Git Response Enumerator(OGRE)

-- WebRNot (webrnot@ncap13k.com), April 07, 1999.

owner buying food

where is mine for y 2 k?

jerk! so I shit in his shoe

-- yeah, right, like I'd admit to writing this! (noway@all..), April 07, 1999.

Old Grit, your poem is wildely wonderful! I hereby honor you with the designation of Poet Laureate.

-- maggie (maggiem@nehp.com), April 07, 1999.

Oh no, Maggie, not mine! Sent by a friend, don't know where they originated. But here's one from our Head Cat:

Cats smarter than dogs/Know don't have to perform/Tricks for food and board

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), April 07, 1999.

GoLdeN RetRIEveR

fLuFFy cLeaN FRoM heR ShowER

RoLLing In caT SHiT

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), April 07, 1999.