I managed to talk the office of Tony Abbott, a Federal MP, into letting me do a week's work experience with him. He rang me this morning, and I'll be working as his personal assistant either this week or next week.

I intend to turn this guy into a GI. Not only because that way he'll be a customer ;), but because he's got influence. If he GsI, he has the ear of John Howard, the PM. If the Australian government puts out a warning NOW, or within the next couple of months, thousands or tens of thousands of lives could be saved.

So is there anything out there that would be particularly good for influencing politicos?

-- Leo (lchampion@ozemail.com.au), March 20, 1999

Answers

Leo,

Do not begin to talk about computers. Personalize the subject.

Ask him what he would miss the most if it's availability were to be interrupted. Share with him the number of interdependent systems and links with the distances involved in its delivery. Then stop and let your question and comments percolate for a while.

Messenger beware. If you push too hard, you may be shot!

Good luck and best wishes,

-- Watchful (seethesea@msn.com), March 20, 1999.

"So is there anything out there that would be particularly good for influencing politicos?"

$$$$$$$$$$$.

Couldn't resist :)

-- sparks (wireless@home.com), March 21, 1999.

If he's a federal MP he already get's it, besides he knows that we need a reduction in the population worldwide, the world is stressed beyond all comprehension.

-- JMTCW (JMTCW@JMTCW.com), March 21, 1999.

Yeah, like Watchful says, personalise it. You could start by asking him if he's still shagging Treasurer Costello's wife - that ought to get the ball rolling. Oooops, I might get sued for saying that! In Australia there was a recent libel case against a hack who had written some such lurid things about these people. It was called the Abbott and Costello case, I kid ye not.

"I intend to turn this guy into a GI." If he's the typical status-hungry cretin that becomes an MP, then chances are he isn't going to take his policy cues from the work-experience boy.

"he has the ear of John Howard, the PM." Really? maybe he has the brain, the balls and the personality of the PM as well; it's apparent Little Johnny Howard has lost all of these, pretending he ever had them in the first place. He's an amazing piece of work our Prime Minister: it's like they've taken all the attributes of history's greats and combined them into one giant of a man...the charisma of a John Major, the perspicacity of a Neville Chamberlin, the intellect of a Ronald Reagan, the vision of a ...um, that famous blind guy who was a president some time.. What has our fearless leader said about y2k? "Duhhh, I'll be in an aeroplane for rollover. There's nothing to worry about." If it really is true that a populace gets the politicians that they deserve, then you can safely infer that Australia is populated by the most backward, cretinous, Darwin-confounding troglodytes that ever rose from the slime to breed with their cousins.

"So is there anything out there that would be particularly good for influencing politicos? " Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, so I would recomend a liquid-soluable compound of LSD and Ecstacy. Be sure to make it double-dipped. After an hour or so, his fetid little mind (for want of a better word) should be squirming with the paranoid fantasies and delusions which taint the unconscious of the dog-eat-dogshit party-political psyche. At this time, you tie him to his chair and slap him around a bit. Then, once he's begging for mercy and has signed over his personal estate to the local foundation for disabled aboriginal lesbian dolphins, you force his eyes open with matchsticks and sit him in front of a movie screen. On that screen you shall show and endless looped reel of ultra-sincere(?) preacher Benny Hinns explaining y2k. I can lend you the tape. I promise you, after an hour or two, the minister's mind will be all yours, though you might have to clean up a nasty mess on the floor. Then you tell the minister to tell the pRime mInister to warn all Australians to thoroughly prepare, so we get the honour of being the first advanced country to wind up this ridiculous phase of history.

-- humptydumpty (no.6@thevillage.com), March 21, 1999.

Since young Mr. Leo isn't even old enough to vote yet, I think using his eyes and ears would help us more than him using his mouth.

-- total (I'm@aloss.au), March 21, 1999.

As a matter of fact, I am old enough to vote.

Now tell me, imbecile, what age has to do with anything?

-- Leo (lchampion@ozemail.com.au), March 21, 1999.

Thanks for just confirming my point. Do let us know how it goes.

-- total (I'm@aloss.au), March 21, 1999.

Good luck - you may find it's very enlightening - an adfrightening. These guys are busy - make the most of your time, but be effective, I would not recommend "lecturing" but try asking - start with simple if-then/what-would-you-do-if type leading questions. Let him do the thinking and deciding.

Assume - for exampel- a three day power outage - like the people in Aukland, NZ - had for several weeks. San Francisco lost power on the penisula when one transformer went out. Regional controls and communications and remote controllers and sensors are particularly vunerable in water and electrical distribution - its the unknown bugs that you didn't test for that will disrupt things. Aftert all the known are eliminated - which they all haven't been.

What does it affect? Lights, heat, A/C (your summer of course), but also meat and dairy, storage, water distribution, sewage treatmetn, lights, and security. TV - how will he contact and get the word out? Who would he contact? What emergency actions COULD NOT be done? Have poilece, fire stations, ambulances practiced a "power out" emergency response? What about hospitals and day care, ols age centers - what about government control and information - how will he get his people to work and get effective word out to the media if the power an telephones and faxes are down?

What word is critical? Who will inform him? How? What about backups and battery chargers for cell phones? How long will poilce radios stay charged? Can they charge from the car circuit? How about pumping gas at the police anf fire stations?

Inside lights in jails? Security lights? saniation? water? Fire fighting? Water in general for fire fighting? For refills? How will they treat water? Test it once back on line? Are the labs on backup power? What about getting word out about bad water - if treatment regulators or chlorine levels go out of spec? How will people know they are in spec, or go out of spec? How will they get the word out that the water is back in spec, if "boil water" has been issued? What about sewage treatment and discharges?

Who pays government overtime? What if several days in a row are needed? Who relieves the workers? Who has drilled casuality responses? What if one region is okay, another is down completely, and another is having spotty, irregular problems? Where does the relief go? WHo supports the relief workers?

Keep walking through the details of different scenarios mentally with him - so that he can identify and bring in the people who will be able to solve the problems. You can't " fix it" yourself - but you have a uniue oportunity to ask questions and let him get the right people focused on getting answers.

For example - welfare and foodstamps - or the equal over there - can't be dispensed through the new autoamted cards if the re is no electricity or if satellites (receiveres and transmitters) and banks and the government processors are down. What can people do to make sure that food is not wasted (no buyres) or turns sour (no refrigeration), but that the goods that can be used are availble - but how will the grocer get paid if he cannot run the card scanner?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 23, 1999.