Waaaaayyy off topic Clinton homorgreenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
Bill and Hillary were married for 40 years. When they first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it."
In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.
In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubley curious as to why.
That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the cans in the box?"
Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."
Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years."
They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "Why do you have all that money in the box?" Bill answered, "Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in."
-- Sysman (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 19, 1999
Just printed that one. Thanks,
-- Watchful (email@example.com), March 19, 1999.
That shoule be HUMOR, but HOMOR sounds better! <:)=
-- Sysman (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 19, 1999.
Sysman, a Clinton joke is always appreciated here. :)
-- jeannie (email@example.com), March 20, 1999.
"a clinton joke is always welcome".........
in that case........
A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."
He noticed a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolled down his window and asked, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?"
The Officer replied, "The President is just so depressed about the impeachment thing, he stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire".
"He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."
"Oh, really? How much have you collected so far?"
"Only about three hundred gallons, but I've got a lot of folks still siphoning."
-- andrea (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 20, 1999.
Homor is good.
-- a (A@AisA.com), March 20, 1999.
-- anita (email@example.com), March 20, 1999.
One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off.She started with "This was England's finest hour."
Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said, " Winston Churchill."
"Congratulations", said the teacher. "You may go home."
The teacher then said, "Ask not what your country can do for you."
Before she could finish this quote, another young lady belts out, "John F. Kennedy"."
Very good" says the teacher, "you may go."
Irritated that he has missed two golden opportunities, Little Johnny said, "I wish those girls would just shut up."
Upon overhearing this comment, the outraged teacher demanded, "Who said that?!?.
Johnny instantly rose to his feet and said, "Bill Clinton."
-- andrea (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 21, 1999.
Bill Clinton and Billy Graham were on Air Force One one morning, flying to Camp David. The steward approached them and asked them for drinks preferences. Clinton asked for a bloody mary, as it had been a hard night.
"Hair of the Dog, Reverend" Clinton winked as he turned to Billy Graham "And what can he get for you?"
"I WOULD RATHER A BRAZEN WHORE RAPE ME RIGHT HERE AND NOW, THAN ALCOHOL PASS THESE LIPS!!!"
Taken aback, Clinton turned back to the steward and said "Hold on now, I'll have what the Good Revered is having. I didn't know there was a choice."
-- Tall Man (email@example.com), March 21, 1999.