Hey! Someone's making fun of us! (and it's pretty funny)greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
Squirrel Cuts Power Supply To 5,000
DUESSELDORF, Germany (Reuters) - A wet squirrel cut the power supply to 5,000 people in a German town when it walked through a 10,000-volt switching station.
Technicians found the squirrel lying dead next to two transformers, a technician for the Wesertal electricity company said Tuesday.
``It didn't keep a safe distance from the machinery'' and caused a short circuit, he said.
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That's what just one wet squirrel will do. Now imagine thousands of wet squirrels released at the same time. There are over 500 million squirrels in the U.S. at any given moment. And that's just one member of the rodent family.
Arab terrorists are hosing down thousands of squirrels, preparing to unleash them on unsuspecting utilities throughout the U.S. as Y2K approaches.
CIA and government officials refused to comment, dismissing the allegations as absurd. However, the SEC is urging the utilities to put out "wet squirrel disclosures" as part of their 10-Q's, but as of yet, not one has been forthcoming (That means they are lying).
Several utilities have already placed large orders for hair dryers, which are on back-order for 6-to-8 months. This, in itself, indicates the severity of the situation.
Additionally, several National Guard detachments have been performing secret "squirrel drills" in the Midwest. However, Guardsmen are presently conducting drills with moistened raccoons rather than squirrels. "We began with damp elk and are working our way down," said guardsman Bill Johnson of St. Paul, Minnesota, who spoke under the condition of anonymity, "We want to be ready for anything."
However, WSQ will provide a boon for squirrel consulting services, which have never been in demand. One such firm, Clampett Associates, of Beverly Hills, California, stands at the ready should they be needed.
"Well doggies," said president Jed Clampett, "We got several ways to catch these varmints, and Granny knows how to cook 'em too."
Vice-President Jethro Bodeen Clampett said that excess squirrels could be stored in the see-ment pond in the back until needed.
Hey, if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at?
-- Mother Nacho (email@example.com), March 16, 1999
Squirrel terrorism alert.
-- Central (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 16, 1999.
They didn't mention flying squirrels did they??? Especially ones with black fur. Very harmless they are.
-- boris (email@example.com), March 16, 1999.
Boris, ALWAYS with the squirrel, ALWAYS! Next it will be paranoid ravings about MOOSE! SQUIRREL and MOOSE, SQUIRREL and MOOSE, that's all I ever hear from you! Now have some Vodka, and let's watch some cartoons.
-- Natasha (frostbyte@falls._), March 16, 1999.
"We all need to learn to laugh at ourselves...but its always more fun to laugh at others"
HAH HAH ha ha ha
(you should try to be more original DOA... you lack my flair, style, p'nash and all around charm)
-- Mutha Nachu (---@cornsilkpartyhats.com), March 16, 1999.
It was really ein Maus in a squirrel costume. Something was lost in the translation. Mice have lousy coordination in high places, especially wearing soggy suits. Don't ask me if die Maus was a double rodent.
-- dinosaur (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 16, 1999.
Oh, no. Yet another threat to Squirrel Peace!
-- (email@example.com), March 16, 1999.
Thanks, Mother Nacho! This was the best laugh I've had all day. :)
BTW, did they say anthing about wet ferrets?
-- Alison Tieman (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 16, 1999.
Just so wez don't have to sue you here, the original Squirrel post came from http://www.smu.edu/cgi-bin/Nova/get/gn.html
Not copyrighted, but it would be swell if you gave credit where credit is due. CJS thanks from everybody!
-- Doc Paulie (email@example.com), March 16, 1999.
Guys, this is for real! Squirrels are the terrorists we have to worry about! I've seen one myself! I just barely had the time to grab my digital camera before this one got away! He was busy chewing on the telephone line outside my house! He almost got through it! Just think, I could lose access to the n
-- Chris (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 17, 1999.
False alarm - that was a picture of a dry squirrel. But is it a compliant tricycle?
-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (email@example.com), March 17, 1999.
And if you are a paramedic, who rides around a lot, for a private company, you have seen a LOT of Squirrelicide. This being what generates typical road kill. Seems the squirrels are either trying to kill themselves, or, get across the road. Most of us see the squirrel as he disapears beneath the sight line of the front of the squad.
At one time, some of us got to wondering if they were going to make little squirrel sized stretchers, ventilation bags, traction splints, etc.
The above is probably funnier after 10 hours of a shift, I suspect.
-- Chuck, a night driver (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 17, 1999.
I can't believe you all cannot see that the United Nations is behind all this squirrel subversion. Where do you think all those wet squirrels are coming from?! Beware....
-- Apple (email@example.com), March 17, 1999.