i am looking for the text of the dr. seuss y2k rhyme. i had it at one time and lost it somewhere. if someone could post the link here, or reproduce it, that would be very helpful. thanks. i love dr. seuss :)

-- jocelyne slough (jonslough@tln.net), March 05, 1999

Answers

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,

then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,

so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,

and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.

<:)=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), March 05, 1999.

that was fun, sysman! not the one i was looking for, though. the one i saw was a dialogue between a GI and a DGI.

-- jocelyne slough (jonslough@tln.net), March 05, 1999.

"Coming soon! It's Y2K! Y2K to make your day!"

"I will not deal with Y2K. So will you kindly go away?"

"But Y2K is here to stay! You cannot make it go away! The days go by. The weeks do fly And panic will soon rule the sky! So here it comes then, Y2K! You will not make it go away!"

"I will not deal with Y2K. I will ignore it anyway! I will not find it rules the sky And Mr. I will tell you why. Because we live in modern day. They can fix this Y2K."

"They cannot fix it all in time. The streets will fill with dark and crime! Here it comes! Y2K! Will you not prepare today?"

"I will not deal with Y2K! Prepare for what? No how, no way! All the planes will surely fly. Terror will not rule the sky. Crime will not rise. No one will die! Mr., take your Y2K And please oh please do go away!"

"I worn you now of Y2K. The lights will go and off they'll stay! You will not get any mail! All ATM's will surely fail! It's coming soon, this Y2K! Listen up! Attention pay!"

"I will not deal with Y2K! I will not now, so go away! All the planes will surely fly. Terror will not rule the sky! All the lights will still be on. Law and order won't be gone. I will still receive my mail. ATM's? They never fail. Why harp about this Y2K? Where'd you get this nonsense anyway?"

"It's coming soon now, Y2K! It's almost like the Judgment Day!" These facts are good. I know it's so! I heard it on the Art Bell Show! They say chaos will rein supreme! And of these days we'll only dream! We'll fight for water, food and gas! Those not prepared can kiss my -- left earlobe!"

"You are a looney! Y2K! Give it up and go away! The planes will fly. The mail will run. Now what is that? You've bought a gun?"

"I bought a gun for Y2K! I'll be prepared to shoot you, eh? You just don't get it Things will stop! Everyone will be a cop. When this hits all for themselves! I'm storing food here on the shelves! So listen close 'bout Y2K. Get ready! It is on its way!"

"I will not deal with Y2K! Shut up now Fool! Be on your way! I made sure I won't lose my socks! I paid Bill Gates to fix this box. A new upgrade and I'm good to go. Y2K compatible, you know. So give it up You paranoid freak! Stop being weird! You're such a geek! Come on, really. Y2K. Get over it. Upgrade today!"

"Call me a fool on Y2K? Oh Friend now listen up, today! Upgrades are fine for there at home But Uncle Sam is clueless, so The government will seize up fast. Without computers they can't last. No weapons controls, tanks or bombs A sitting duck we will become! And all this cause of Y2K! Tell me now, get on my way?"

"I will not deal with Y2K. I'll sigh at you and simply say. Our enemies wouldn't be so bold. Their computers all are old! Y2k might wipe them out. Now that thought makes me want to shout! No enemies, not bad I say. And all because of Y2K? So my little looney friend This Y2K, it will not end Life as we know it, don't you see? Now will you please stop bugging me?"

"But soon you'll see this Y2K Effect your life in many ways! All your taxes soon wil go To code writers who are working so That the Feds can keep things running. Guys like me are out there gunning! We are ready. We are near! Y2K is almost here!"

"I will not deal with Y2K! I will not, so go on your way! I've told you I do not believe! Total chaos I cannot conceive! The government wouldn't let that go! They're right on this, I know! I know! Planes will fly. Banks will make change. Put down that gun. Stop acting strange! Listen Honey, come to bed. All of this is in your head. I'll help you forget about Y2K.

Tomorrow's another working day." ..... Ham and green eggs for all! Ta

Um

-- Um (you@dont.know), March 05, 1999.

Um...that's wonderful.....are you quoting or is that original? If it's original there's a berth for you in the Yourdonites poetry group....I'm a Seuss fan....this post is great.

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 05, 1999.

Donna,

Saw it on a GN forum.

Um

-- Um (you@dont.know), March 05, 1999.

Give credit where credit is due. It was posted by:

Posted by Mike Moriarto on February 28, 1999 at 12:23:14:

at http://206.67.59.5/www.board4/messages/3557.html

-- Um (you@dont.know), March 05, 1999.

Well, that's fantastic. I have dabbled in Seuss style often and can't match it...thanks for posting it.

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 05, 1999.

thanks, um, for the poem. i found it by doing a search for "dr. seuss" + "y2k". it's written by a woman named jenine. good stuff!

-- jocelyne slough (jonslough@tln.net), March 08, 1999.