How many light bulbs.....? (Not for the serious)greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
This from the federalist web site today - but, is it relevent?
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,343 - 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed; 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently; 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs; 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs; 53 to flame the spell checkers; 41 to correct spelling/grammar flames; 6 to argue over whether it4s 44lightbulb44 or 44light bulb44 and another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive; 156 to write to the list administrator about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list; 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to litebulb-l; 203 to demand that cross posting to grammar-l, spelling-l and illuminati-l about changing light bulbs be stopped; 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this mail list; 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty; 27 to post URL4s where one can see examples of different light bulbs; 14 to post that the URL4s were posted incorrectly and the post the corrected URL4s; 3 to post about links they found from the URL4s that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list; 33 to link all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers and then add 44Me too44; 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy; 19 to quote the 44Me too4s44 to say 44Me three44; 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ; 44 to ask what is 44FAQ44; 4 to say 44didn4t we go through this already a short time ago on Usenet?44 143 to ask 44what4s Usenet?44
1,342 to go .....
-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 04, 1999
Dare I start telling light bulb (or even lightbulb) jokes?
-- Greybear (email@example.com), March 04, 1999.
Thanks! I loved that, and I do have to admit, I need to stock on lightbulbs. It's still on my "to do" list to get accomplished before April 1st, just in case Y2K starts looking really bad to the masses on that date. Sincerely, Apple
-- Apple (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 04, 1999.
How many Aggies does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 5~ One to stand on the ladder and hold the bulb, four to turn the ladder. :-)
How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 10~ One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. hee hee!
-- Gayla Dunbar (email@example.com), March 04, 1999.
How many programmers to change a lightbulb? None - it's a hardware problem! <:)=
-- Sysman (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 04, 1999.
Well.....since somebody else started it......
Q Blondes? A: 7: 1-carry the picture, 1-find bulb, 1-turn lights off, 1-hold flashlight, 1- remember which way to turn it, 1-remember what they started, 1-to go get a brunette to change bulb
Q RedHeads? A: I dont change bulbs, honey. I can get any one of the guys to.
Q Engineers? A: 9: 1-write spec, 1- do the bleuprints, 1-safety officer, 1-calculate torque requirements, 1-calibrate torque wrench, 3-managers, 1-to go get an electrician
Q Canuks? A: 3: 1 to change the bulb and 2 to break off in a splinter group and go change their own bulb, eh?
Q Presidents? A: Only 1: He expects to hold the bulb and have the rest of the world turn round about him.
Q DGIs? A: What makes you think any things wrong with the bulb? There is absolutely nothing wrong! This is not a plot. The government will take care of it. It just not a problem! Why are you causing problems?
Q GIs? A: We dont use bulbs, we use candles. (with one notable exception in which it took 9 people to start a Lantern). [Backup Plan: We use muzzle flash.]
Q Cajuns? A: none (they cant)
Q OKies? A: All of them
Q Texans? A: Hell, we just shoot the dam thing out and get the Okies to change it.
- Got Batteries?
-- Greybear (email@example.com), March 04, 1999.
GB, I resemble that remark!
How many New Yorkers? None, the bulbs are too afraid to go out.
(My daughter says only 2 blondes - one to hold the diet coke and one to call "Daddy".)
-- Tricia the Canuck (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 04, 1999.
Yourdon Forumites: None. They'll tell you, Come on, you must be a DGI! Don't even bother to change it, just leave the useless thing where it is. Now if you would only look at old posts, you'll find a good one on LED lights by Odd One. Oh, and you can use an old light bulb for darning the heel of a sock, gives it the right kind of curve.
-- Old Git (email@example.com), March 04, 1999.
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience. Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience. Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down into the light fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new super-high wattage model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willie has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin's real identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.
-- Jerry B (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 04, 1999.
How many Microsoft employees does it takes to change a lightbulb?
None... Bill Gates just declares darkness the new standard.
-- Brett (email@example.com), March 05, 1999.
The Senate Y2K subcommitee is studying the problem, but the final report will not be issued until 1-15-2000 (in pdf format) However we are certain that budget surpluses projected for the next 25 years will be sufficient to cover the problem.
-- Nikoli Krushev (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 05, 1999.
Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but the light bulb has to *want* to change.
-- Cowardly Lion (email@example.com), March 05, 1999.
How many DGI's does it take ...?
None! He's looking for flashlight to find out if it burned out when the rest of the lights went out.
-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 05, 1999.