Another blasi February day. The herd is half asleep, chewing their cud. Moo. Whats this? Another Y2K story in the paper? Yawn. Theyll probably reassure us again that our microwaves will work, and elevators wont fall out of the sky (or is it planes?). Moo, chew. Hmmm its on the front page of the Washington Post and is about a report by the Senate Y2K committeeno one has access to more information about this then they do, might as well read it. Moo. WHATS THIS??? MOO! ACK!

"The report, scheduled for release this week by Sens. Robert F. Bennett (R-Utah) and Christopher J. Dodd (D-Conn.), includes a letter to Senate colleagues describing the problem of computers' ability to recognize dates starting on Jan. 1, 2000, popularly known as Y2K, as a "worldwide crisis" and as "one of the most serious and potentially devastating events this nation has ever encountered.""

MOOOOOOOO! SNORT! HOW COULD THIS BE????? FARMER CLINTON HAS TOLD US THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE A WINTER STORM!

The herd starts to awaken. Nervousness spreads. Didnt they just print a story that Washington DC would not even come close to fixing their computer problems, and could not "guarantee public safety" after the first of the year? MOO? Will that be the only city this happens in? Moo? Did I hear the the National Guard, FEMA and the Red Cross are making emergency preparations for next year? Moo? Could it be? Moo? Oh good, here comes farmer Clinton to talk to us about it.

Farmer Clinton: (wagging his finger at the herd) THIS WILL BE A MINOR EVENT. I PROMISE YOU. IT WILL BE A BUMP IN THE ROAD.

Moo? We believe what he tells us, right? MOO? He wouldnt lie to us, right? MOOOOOOO? Didnt he tell us the government would be done fixing their computers by September 1998? Moo? Then March 1999? Mooooooo? Now it looks like they will miss that? MOOOOOOOO!

-- Bessie (down@the.farm), February 24, 1999

Answers

LOL, LOL, LOL, Bessie! Too funny!

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), February 24, 1999.

I would bet that most of the herd will be back grazing by Wednesday afternoon, Thursday morning at the latest. Only us Border Collies are gonna keep running around in circles. It's in our blood after all...

-- woof! (woof@woof.woof), February 24, 1999.

The herd will go wherever the cowboys direct them. Yeh ha, ha, ha!

-- Bill (y2khippo@yahoo.com), February 24, 1999.

Thanks Bessie-

I am ROTFLOLPMP over this... mooooo... I think that the herd prefers to buy beanies and go to soccer games, etc. I AM concerned about a possible stampede at some point. However, i dont see any signs of one just yet... mooo. I hope they just keep a'grazin a while longer, I still have some work to finish.

-- kay (y2kay@haha.com), February 24, 1999.

Moooooooooooo

-- Moooooooo (mooo@mooo.mooo), February 24, 1999.

I have noticed that it's the cows that get meekly slaughtered, not the border collies in wolves' clothing.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.R@csaatl.com), February 24, 1999.

To stay in the fun spirit of many of the posts on the board here and never miss a chance to take the debate to infinitesimally small inocous points:

Isn't the metaphor most commonly used around here - sheeple.

Wouldn't the proper noise be Baaaaa?

I would MUCH rather have my mental images contain a bunch of stampeeding sheep than a bunch stampeeding cattle. Having dodged a few cows I can tell all here that sheep are MUCH easier to dodge.

I had all these nice mental images and here somebody goes messing them up. Unsettleing I tell you. (But is was pretty funny)

-- Greybear, who NEVER mixes metaphors (B..W..HaaHaaaHaaaa)

- Got Feed?

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), February 24, 1999.

Bessie and Greybear, some of us are fat cows, some of us are sheeples. Just make sure you're in a sheeple pasture.

-- Baaaaa (ClintonMc.Donald@farms.gov), February 24, 1999.

I mean how can you NOT click on a title as stupid as "Moo?" I love it! However, I do wish it wasn't so true.

Say Kay I get the Rolling On The Floor Laughing, but what is " OLPMP "?

If anybody wants some small files on survival basics

http://home.earthlink.net/~kenseger

-- Ken Seger (kenseger@earthlink.net), February 24, 1999.

I give up! Is that a skinny cow, a fat sheep, or a badly-shorn poodle endlessly jumping Clinton's fences?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.R@csaatl.com), February 24, 1999.

Ken, shhhh! PMP shows a need for "Depends!" Stock up! :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), February 24, 1999.

This post is ridiculous, it way over-credits the POO (powers of observation) of the herd! might as well read it... HA!

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 24, 1999.

Bessie, Baaaa & Robert--

LOL--this thread is moo-velous! (That poodle thing is great, Robert.) :>)

Thanks!

-- Scarlett (ohara@tara.net), February 24, 1999.

eaT mOr chiKn!

-- Tom Carey (tomcarey@mindspring.com), February 24, 1999.

This is definitely a Pythonesque thread! Who remembers the skit where sheep were roosting in and falling out of trees, and the farmer was waxing eloquent about how stupid sheep are? (THUD! As another one fell.)

-- Nostalgic Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), February 24, 1999.

(A tourist approaches a shepherd. The sounds of sheep and the outdoors are heard.) Tour: Good afternoon. Shep: Eh, 'tis that. Tour: You here on holiday? Shep: Nope, I live 'ere. Tour: Oh, good for you. Uh...those ARE sheep aren't they? Shep: Yeh. Tour: Hmm, thought they were. Only, what are they doing up in the trees? Shep: A fair question and one that in recent weeks 'as been much on my mind. It's my considered opinion that they're nestin'. Tour: Nesting? Shep: Aye. Tour: Like birds? Shep: Exactly. It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet. Tour: Yes, but why do they think they're birds? Shep: Another fair question. One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin'. Trouble is, sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their 'eads, there's no shiftin' it. Tour: But where did they get the idea? Shep: From Harold. He's that most dangerous of creatures, a clever sheep. 'e's realized that a sheep's life consists of standin' around for a few months and then bein' eaten. And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep. Tour: Well why don't just remove Harold? Shep: Because of the enormous commercial possibilities if 'e succeeds.

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.com), February 24, 1999.

Try this again...

(A tourist approaches a shepherd. The sounds of sheep and the outdoors are heard.) Tourist: Good afternoon.

Shephrd: Eh, 'tis that.

Tourist: You here on holiday?

Shephrd: Nope, I live 'ere.

Tourist: Oh, good for you. Uh...those ARE sheep aren't they?

Shephrd: Yeh.

Tourist: Hmm, thought they were. Only, what are they doing up in the trees?

Shephrd: A fair question and one that in recent weeks 'as been much on my mind. It's my considered opinion that they're nestin'.

Tourist: Nesting?

Shephrd: Aye.

Tourist: Like birds?

Shephrd: Exactly. It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet. Tourist: Yes, but why do they think they're birds?

Shephrd: Another fair question. One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin'.

Trouble is, sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their 'eads, there's no shiftin' it.

Tourist: But where did they get the idea?

Shephrd: From Harold. He's that most dangerous of creatures, a clever sheep. 'e's realized that a sheep's life consists of standin' around for a few months and then bein' eaten. And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep.

Tourist: Well why don't just remove Harold?

Shephrd: Because of the enormous commercial possibilities if 'e succeeds.

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.com), February 24, 1999.

LOL, Mac.

However, the sheprd's last answer comes too close to the gov't spin on Y2K :-(

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), February 24, 1999.

How about ... Koskinen ... M-o-o-o-o-o-o-v-e over.

(He thinks he can fly too!)

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), February 24, 1999.

Baaaah....this thread is not mooooo-ving me in the least.

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), February 25, 1999.

All together now:

Baa-ram-ewe, baa-ram-ewe!

To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true.

Sheep be true.

Baa-ram-ewe!

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.com), February 25, 1999.

And the latest D.C story isn't going to wake people up any more then the Senate report did. Makes you wonder what it WILL take.

-- lurker (no_way@no_how.com), June 28, 1999.