My sister-in-law, a TSTGI (Too Stupid To Get It), made this comment while I was trying to educate her on Y2K:

"But we didn't have any problems in 1900, did we?"

R.

-- Roland (laughing&crying@thesametime.com), February 23, 1999

Answers

One of my new favorite DGI statements just happened to come from the thread right before this one:

"I have never claimed to be an expert, but do tell, oh exalted one, how many systems have you remediated?

You know nothing about spin. The post from Eddie is spin, he is trying to sell books. You couldnt see the truth if hit you between the eyes."

- Troll Maria

This post contains beautiful illustrations of the "Argumentum ad hominem" that Donna B. was refering to in her "Arguement,...Valid and Not" thread.

This is generally Maria's operating style...

-- pshannon (pshannon@inch.com), February 23, 1999.

The three P's man... remeber the three P's

1.) Prosac

2.) Pot

3.) Pina Coladas

Every time you hear something stupid just lock yourself up in your house and rememeber the three P's. It will help you get through the worst of it.

-- (I'm not @ Rappaport . com), February 23, 1999.

I know that a lot of what DGIs say is pretty funny (and Roland, TSTGI="Too Stupid To Get It", that is hilarious), but we should all remember that all of us were presumably DGIs at one time. (In fact, I think its normal and rational to initially dismiss the Y2K problem as pure idiocy, because it is technically so trivial.)

Sadly, my "favorite" quote is something along the lines of, "It can't be that big a deal, otherwise we would be hearing more about it." Of course, that quote is somewhat dated, Y2K is getting a lot of coverage these days, but its in the form of Everything Will Be Just Fine If Only The Loonies Will Leave Their Money In The Bank.

-- Jack (jsprat@eld.net), February 23, 1999.

A local County Board member:

"I'm concerned if we warn the people about Y2K that it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy, so we're not going to say anything". (or something close to that) ...
 
[My notes:
1) as if the public can't think for themselves .. and;
2) as if preparation will cause Y2k to come true.

 
A local city worker:

"I simply refuse to believe that there isn't a switch somewhere that can't be turned off and all of this run manually again .. and nothing you can say or show me will make me believe otherwise."

 
 
... one recent Y2k conclusion I've reached .. if people don't understand it .. irrespective of their station in life .. be it civilians or government officials (elected or otherwise) .. then Y2k:
 
a) Doesn't exist
b) Can't/won't happen
c) Is a hoax/scam by the - Government | Microsoft | people who want to get rich
d) Can be safely ignored and it will go away...
e) Will be 100% fixed in time because "they" are putting so much $ into it
f) All of the above
 
*** DING! The correct answer is 'f' ...
 
 
Just my $0.02 worth among the billions/trillions ..
 
Dan


-- Dan (DanTCC@Yahoo.com), February 23, 1999.

Ok...lets all say this at the same time........BILL GATES WILL FIX IT !!!.....

-- rooster (logcabin@loggie.com), February 23, 1999.

... Addendum:

I forgot the real #1 reply:

"I don't own a computer so it won't affect me/us"...

Dan

-- Dan (DanTCC@Yahoo.com), February 23, 1999.

After spending 3 days trying to explain y2k to friends, the husband decided he would get a generator. But because he didn't have the room for fuel storage, (they live just out of Dee Cee) he was going to get one that he could plug in!!!

-- Taz (Tassie@AOL.com), February 23, 1999.

From duh-2000

From a Y2K forum on CNN.COM: "Another thing people don't realize is that virtually all Y2K problems will sort themselves out, given enough time, with no programmer input. The amount of time needed will vary from program to program."

Well, sure, given enough time. How long does it take a computer to decompose, anyway?

-- Online2Much (hard@work._), February 23, 1999.

When Koskinen said, "we can print money faster than people can with draw it", had me ROTFLMAO!!!! Rusty2k

-- Rusty2k (eeford@bellsouth.net), February 23, 1999.

Taken from an actual e-mail received by a friend of mine:

"Y2k is a joke. Just another avenue to squeeze the consumer in buying or panicing about something or another. I spent some time chatting with apple.com in order to see if we were compliant. Of course we were. I'm sure there will be something that doesn't cross over and it will be something the consumer will have to replace. If your 10 year old VCR doesn't comply... then guess what...... just buy another! Sounds so easy doesn't it? Our congress men and women will not go for a day without being paid you can bet on that."

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), February 23, 1999.

"You have to think positive or you will attract bad things!"

uh, oh, duh, da, oogha, it's the thoughts, stupid?

"We must have a Chief Of Homeland Command to fight cyberterrorism." xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), February 23, 1999.

"Chris, we live in the U.S., wake up"

Too ashamed to tell you who told me that.

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), February 23, 1999.

"What's Y2K?"

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), February 23, 1999.

Here's a good one: the statement about Germany... Don't know who (encelia@mailexcite.com) is, though.

"My apparent y2k preparedness stems from my frugality, not fear of y2k"

My point was that no poster had the right to assume either that you aren't preparing or that you don't take y2k seriously on the basis of what evidence you had provided at that time, simply because you disagreed with their evaluation of how big the consequences of y2k will be. It has nothing to do with agreeing or disagreeing with you. About Germany-- its problem may be that it cannot support itself without trade. It lives off of the import or raw materials and export of specialized tools and parts. It also imports both electricity and oil on a large scale. So it is highly dependent on the shipping industry- even assuming it has no problems itself.

-- Maria (encelia@mailexcite.com), January 10, 1999.

-- Lisa (lisa@work.com), February 23, 1999.

They'll fix it. They're fixing it. It'll get fixed. Don't worry. Stop worrying. You're not worried about that are you? I heard they fixed that already. Or, they will fix it. (needs to be be put music, doncha think?)

-- I (need@a.fix), February 23, 1999.

Do you think we never got along without computers? Companies can just go back to doing their billing by hand. They have pencils, paper, and calculators, don't they?

(same person that yells and kicks the chair across the room when there's a mistake on his cable bill)

-- Debbie (dbspence@usa.net), February 23, 1999.

"We will muddle through"

(And speaking of mud: Chris, Troll Maria?)

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.com), February 23, 1999.

Roland,

Thanks for the diversion!

My favorite is the same as Rob's. 'Y2K won't affect me, I don't have a computer.'

Although in 2nd place is a variation of the one 'I needed' mentioned, 'They won't let it happen, because They stand to lose money.'

A disturbing twist to 'What's y2k ?' seems to be the development of 'Oh, yah! That's where all those crazy religious fanatics think the world is going to end, right?' Oh, brother.

I ran into that one last night.

-- Deborah (theEnd@near.haha), February 23, 1999.

What King, and give you a free show? I don't spar with people greatly at disadvantage, especially not CGI and trolls.

Besides, read what Debbie said, she's got it right ;-)

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), February 23, 1999.

Deborah: I am ROTFL after reading what you just posted because after I hit return I realized that that was my number one DGI answer for last year - and I thought about posting something very similar to what your second choice was for this year. Strange syncronicity!

Makes me wonder what it will be next year - maybe something that starts with "I shoud have..."

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), February 23, 1999.

Sorry, Rob, but next year it's gonna go something like, "If if wasn't for all those nuts panicking, everything would've been fine!"

-- rick blaine (y2kazoo@hotmail.com), February 23, 1999.

Me: Have you heard about y2k? Friend: Is that some kind of vaginal jelly?

-- gilda jessie (jess@listbot.com), February 23, 1999.

When I called city hall(pop.3500) to see what was being done about the Y2K problem. He said"What Y2K problems,thats for the big cities" Well needless to say that was 2 months ago and he has now changed his thinking.

-- maji (abc@prepared.com), February 23, 1999.

Chris, that must have been my brother" Wake up, this is the U.S." --because he said to me--"A-MER-cans are NOT just gonna SIT ON THEIR HANDS!!!!" He has about $300,000 in the bank.

-- King of Free Estimates (youjustcant@learn.em), February 23, 1999.

Well as for my family, they say my long-haired husband is to blame for me acting this way. Although, they thought of him as a very smart, loyal husband and wonderful father for seven years (before he let his hair get a little longer).

I guess my favorite is from my dear, sweet, 75% deaf, grandmother who stated "I am not worried about any computer problem President Clinton stays on top of things" This is from the same lady who thinks a computer is "some sorta typing type t.v."

I will be sure to have enough food and water to keep her safe, she's a keeper.

-- shellie (shellie01@hotmail.com), February 23, 1999.

"Well, it's a good thing there are lot of smart people working on the problem so we won't have to worry about it." - friend to my wife

"My husband is a programmer and he's actually pretty concerned" - my wife to her friend

"Well, all the people working on it are smarter than your husband"

-- In Communist Held Massachusetts (Slag@aol.com), February 23, 1999.

"Don't you know we can just use pencils again"

"Everything has got a manual"

-- Linda A. (adahi@muhlon.com), February 23, 1999.

One more, from my mother...."The Lord will take care of it"

-- Linda A. (adahi@muhlon.com), February 23, 1999.

Friend: "Oh for f#^%$ sake Andy give it a F%$*&^% rest will ya?"

Me: Uh, OK...

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), February 23, 1999.

In response to my worries about infrastructure frailties:

"Do you think anyone wants something that bad to happen?"

Like if we just all try hard enough (like the little engine that could) the whole thing will be solved! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

-- meeko (meeeko@hotmail.com), February 23, 1999.

My sister: "It's dangerous for you to think that way." Acquaitance: "Hogwash, it's not problem at all, they'll have it fixed, your talking out of the top of your head." Neighbor: "My son's a college graduate with an MS degree in computer science. Even before he graduated from college all the head hunters from the big companies were after him to work for them. But he settled working for a small company down in LA. He says that it's just a bunch of hype and there's not going to be any problems whatsoever." Haven't approached anyone since and that was well over a year ago. I decided that I don't need to convince anyone of anything anymore. By the way, I was always a GI right from the moment I heard Gary North on the radio. My mother who is 75 got it the moment I told her about it. It's not that difficult to comprehend, that's what I don't get.

-- bardou (bardou@baloney.com), February 23, 1999.

" It's not that difficult to comprehend, that's what I don't get. "

Bardou, I can move my ears, but my husband can't. I guess you either have the ability or you don't ;-)

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), February 23, 1999.

"We live in America, we don't have to worry about that kind of bullshit!" local builder

"Y2K is hype, marketing companies are just using it to sell more shit you don't need" brother-in-law

"How are your Y2K preps going (ha,ha,tee,hee)?" "Great, just got another 200 rounds of 00 buckshot for starving fools who don't prepare!" my response to anyone who makes fun of my preperations

-- Bill (y2khippo@yahoo.com), February 23, 1999.

The Best:

"Y2K? That can't all be happening..I've got tickets to see Phish in Times Square on New Years Eve".

Sad but true.

-- Jane (justwatching@sneak.apeek), February 23, 1999.

When explaining Y2K to people:

Friend: You must believe in Miracles and God Simon (Known him for 4 plus years and he has never shown any religious inclinations before.)

---

Relative: As we get closer to the end of the year all sorts of people believe all sorts of things about the end of the world. UFO's, Second Coming of Christ, Y2K, etc. None of it is going to happen.

---

Relative saying to another relative: I think Simon is taking it too seriously.

---

Another Relative: It's a Hoax.

---

My Boss: It's A Hoax and not going to happen. (I've been secretly checking all our equipment and software over for Y2K compliancy.)

---

Heard on the radio from a Lady caller: I saw one of those Millennium Bugs in my kitchen!

---

Also heard on the radio by an 'expert': If the power does not go out a few seconds after midnight then there will be nothing to worry about.

and : Only the dills head for the hills.

and : But it is a good idea to stock up on a month's worth of supplies.

---

A sidenote, in the newspapers and tv here there has been no mention of Y2K except for a piece about that Delta-T. It is like there is a media blackout here.

Regards, Simon Richards

-- Simon Richards (simon@wair.com.au), February 23, 1999.

I've heard some dosers...

I talked to the guy at Radio Shack and he said this Y2K thing was no big deal

God wouldnt let anything that bad happen to us.

God does not want us to fear, so stop talking please.

And a conversation I had recently Me:Without sufficient chemicals and fuel farming would revert to 1900 levels Other Person:Sounds good to me...farmers use to much chemicals now anyway MeBut with 1900 technology each farmer could only feed ten people Other Person Whats wrong with that? Me 200 million Americans would starve. Other Person Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh hell. end of conversation

Booseter C. who feels like he ought to get a 100 extra laying hens.

-- Booster C. (booster@cable.com), February 23, 1999.

"I've never owned a computer and dont have to much use for them, myself, and dont expect the y2k thing will amount to much, and when the year 2000 comes and goes without any disruption, you remember I said that". this is from a 60 year old dude I work with, and have quite a bit of respect for.

-- ed (edrider007@aol.com), February 23, 1999.

"We can just call up files by their names instead by date until we get to 2000."

-- fly .:. (.@...), February 23, 1999.

the people who say y2k is a big deal are all Americans, so you can't believe anything they say. - Guy in a shop.

-- humptydumpty (no.6@thevillage.com), February 24, 1999.

In a meeting re: y2k I turned to the guy next to me and asked 'Do you know why your cam-corder won't work if the date rolls over to 1900 instead of 2000?'. When he said 'no,' I replied 'Because they didn't have cam-corders in 1900.'

Punch-line: he thought I was serious!

I now know better than to joke about it with DGI's.

-- Cowardly Lion (cl0001@hotmail.com), February 24, 1999.

For me, the strangest (and saddest) statement I heard was from the Pastor of a large congregation in Southern California. After spending 30 minutes telling everyone how ridiculous and bizarre this whole Y2k "scare" is--and that we shouldn't even *consider* HOARDING food--he turns around and says, "And if anything does happen with y2k, you make sure you come to the Church. We'll take care of you."

HUH??

-- Scarlett (ohara@tara.net), February 24, 1999.

My favorite one comes from duh-2000 - after a commanding officer in the military was briefed on the Year 2000 he said "Well, what did we do last time we had this problem?"

-- Joe (dontask@donttell.com), February 24, 1999.

From my sister-in-law who works for an insurance company to me, who tested for and watched a Y2K failure in Oct 1987:

"I use computers at work all the time. It won't be any problem."

I've been in computers and embedded systems since 1972, seen how the things will fail, proved they will fail and with her experience of "using computers all the time" she declares to me "It won't be a problem." Unfortunately she runs my brother's household and will not let him make any preparations, just to prove to the rest of us "southern yokels" in the family that we're dumb to "believe all that Y2K crap."

I won't feel bad about burying her, if that's possible, but I'll feel really bad about my brother and their two young girls.

WW

-- Wildweasel (vtmldm@epix.net), February 24, 1999.

I have to rate

Gilda has my number one DGI statement with Andy's running a close second. ROFLMAO

I don't get any statements...just blank stares from my relatives.

-- Sharon in Texas (sking@drought-ridden.com), February 24, 1999.

"I used to worry about that, but my credit card with 2000 on it works just fine now."

-- Kevin (mixesmusic@worldnet.att.net), February 25, 1999.

When I telephoned my sister-in-law, a rich widow who now lives alone in southern Queensland, Australia, to try and explain Y2K is something really serious... She giggled and said, "Well, I guess if it really is that bad, I'll just have to eat my two doggies". That's the last time I bothered trying to speak to her.

-- David Harvey (vk2dmh@hotmail.com), February 25, 1999.

"They can just turn all the computers back on on Jan 2, and the stockmarket will be o.k." - my dad.

-- humptydumpty (no.6@thevillage.com), February 25, 1999.

My husband's aunt: "I am too old now to worry about all of this. Don't mention this anymore to me. I don't want to hear it. If I am going to die, then I'll die. "

She's around 60! (yikes - *that's OLD???)

Bobbi (who is almost a half a century young) http://www.buzzbyte.com

-- Bobbi (bobbia@slic.com), February 25, 1999.

Could someone please be bothered to trawl through the archives and find some great DGI posts/quotes? Should be some Duesenburgs from Puallyana Davis and Jim the Anvil Nerdhardt.

-- humptydumpty (no.6@thevillage.com), February 25, 1999.

Ph.D. in history regarding my concerns about Y2K:

"You know what people worried about in 1492?"

I did not answer such a stupid question.

So he said: "They were worried about paying their taxes. Some of my students understand that."

Aaaarrrgh!

-- fly .:. (.@...), February 25, 1999.

"It wont happen that way."

The sad part is that both my inlaws and a major leader in my church spoke these same words to me on separate occasions.

URRGGGGGGGG

-- kay (y2kay@non.com), February 25, 1999.

"It doesn't matter if the date is wrong, we all know what the right date is".............brother! Gotta run to Sam's

-- Moore Dinty moore (not@thistime.com), February 25, 1999.

Well, I finally decided it was time to casually mention Y2k to our landord (we rent for now - getting ready to buy land in March whoopee!) because they have 9 (yep count em - NINE) children (all under the age of 13!) and it's been bugging me a lot as to whether she's aware of Y2k or not.

Well, she came by to get the rent this morning, and I casually said "Hey S, have you heard anything at all about this Y2k business?" She said yes she has heard about it on TV (they don't have internet access), and that when she questioned her hubby about it (he's an engineer at a local plant), he'd told her "Don't worry about it, they are working on it and it will all be okay. We are hard at work on this problem at the plant. Things will be just fine.".

Well, I didn't say anything else for awhile, just looked at her. She then said, "why? should I worry?". I told her she might want to buy some extra canned goods and stuff and maybe plant a garden this spring. She said "should I buy a woodstove?" I said "You should consider it; after all it will be in January". We discussed water and how she could have a water supply just in case.

To make a long story short, she's very concerned about it as the mother of all these children, and he's apparently not. She indicated that it had been digging away at her subconscious for a long time, but she wasn't sure who to ask for information!

So, I told her that I would print some info out for her. She was very very interested in learning about this. Sounds like hubby has been telling her "not to worry", but deep inside she has this feeling of "arghgh, I should be doing something".

Now I am glad I brought it up. Was sort of afraid to, because I wasn't sure of the reaction I'd get. She thanked me and said she'd start stocking up today at the grocery store. On the way out the door she reminded me "please print out that info for me will you?"

Do you think there are lots more like this out there?

I mean this is about the 10th or so woman that I have casually mentioned Y2k to, and the reply has been "oh my husband said not to worry, they will fix it".

What gives with some of these men anyway? (just kidding guys)

Bobbi http://www.buzzbyte.com/

-- Bobbi (bobbia@slic.com), February 26, 1999.

My 'all time' favorite...(By my mother in law)....."Its okay, I'll just come to your house) OH NO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> When her bank posted on their door that their is no need to worry, she said "I'll just ask them".........She has thousands in that bank and then wanna come stay here....Its not me I am worried about, see its my hubby, he cant be alone with her for 5 minutes.......lol....true story.

-- consumer (private@aol.com), February 26, 1999.