At least Dieter isn't as longwinded and occasionally vulgar as when he called himself Jimmy Bagga Donuts. I usually just skip past his posts, as they are next to impossible to read. This is another waste of threadspace...

-- pshannon (pshannon@inch.com), February 23, 1999.

SILENCE FELiNE INFiDEL!!!!!! what iS THis fOOLISHNESS????? YoU are WAsTING DIeTeRS EaRS!!!!!Yes???nO???? QUiET!!!!HOW Do yOU FINd thE time for SUch skuLLMUcKERY????? why IN HEaVENS NamE Do YoU VULTUReS PIck at dIETERS EYES????? eNOuGH I SAY!!!!!HeLLo????

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), February 23, 1999.

Dieter may be as funny as a barrel full of chimps but anyone who comes on this message board using nothing but caps usually doesn't get a few posts before they are cut up into ribbons by the self appointed gaurdians of good format.

If a court jester is what you need Dieter is your man(woman? nahh...) But if I were Dieter then i'd be sort of embarrassed to be thought of in that way. Dennis Miller has sold millions by using the word fuck creativley. But if someone swears around here it's bad taste. Maybe Dieter is just lost. Can someone direct him to the nearest comic Q & A Board?

-- (AES2010@aol.com), February 23, 1999.

JACKASS!!!! WHY CaNNoT YOU DuNG BEEtLES CONtrol youR MOUtHS???? IS IT ThE DIeT You eat?????? ARE We NOt adUlts hERE, WITH YoU EXcepTED??? DIeTER CAres not whAt oTHERs thInk of dIeter!!!!! GO AWaY ANd gargLe oUt YOuR stInkIng ORFIcE!!!!IDIOT MORoN HYeNA!!!!

I HaTE yOu!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), February 23, 1999.

check that... "funnier than a barrel full of crack heads"

Gee Dieter, woke up on the wrong side of the hospital bed this morning? Calm down little camper

-- (AES2010@aol.com), February 23, 1999.

PNG - Dieter isn't "9" - he's "NEIN"...

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), February 23, 1999.

Leave Deiter alone. I enjoy him. When y2k hits there will be lots of Deiters out wondering the streets muttering in their beards. Better get used to it. Besides, it will be individuals who save this world, not goose step knee jerk responses to y2k. We will need all the creativeness that we can get. Let Deiter practice and we practice and stretch our brains to try and understand him.

-- Taz (Tassie@AOL.com), February 23, 1999.

Dieter, if you need a place to crash for Y2K, come and lodge with Sweetie and me.

-- Amiable Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), February 23, 1999.

PNG's right, BTW - if it comes down to Gore, Quayle, or Dieter...well...just try completing this sentence:

"In other news, President Dieter today signed an Executive Order..."

-- Arlin H. Adams (ahadams@ix.netcom.com), February 23, 1999.

. . .changing the title of President to what it should have been for years--"ChiEF ExecUTIVE FoOL," commenting that he would not require official documents to be typed in mixed upper and lower case. CRF Dieter apologized for not removing his three-horned cap, each with a large golden bell at the end, but said he was having a bad hair day. The purple, green and gold cap matched his Bill Blass tunic and tights, while his bladder on a stick was in basic black. The ChiEF ExecUTIVE FoOL explained his outfit by saying, "This is a fool's costume, these are Mardi Gras colors and Mardi Gras is the most foolish holiday on earth. Laissez les bon temps roulez!" Francophiles will be horrified at the fractured French, but that's New Orleans for you.

-- SiLLY olD GIT (anon@spamproblems.com), February 23, 1999.

############################################################
# PERL program: Deiter-ize an input paragraph#
##
# Try me on UNIX, Mac OS, or NT!#
# #
# In keeping with the random nature#
# of Deiter's contributions, the output#
# will be slightly different on differnt#
# runs with same input.#
##
# For all on this forum who now loathe and fear#
# computers, I want to show how artificial intelligence#
# can make our lives so much better....#
##
# Author: Blue Himalayan, bh@k2.y, All Rights Reserved#
##
# This Program will work on 2000-1-1, if it has a computer#
# to run on.#
##
#############################################################
#
####
### Seed the random function#
####
srand ( time () ^ ($$ + ($$ << 15)));#
#
####
### Get some madness from Deiter...#
####
print "Care to Deiter-ize your words, for posterity, if any ?";#
my $letter_string = <>;#
$length = length $letter_string;#
$start = 0;#
$flip = int(rand 2) + 1;#
#
####
### Go!#
####
while (1 == 1)#
{#
$end = int(rand 5) + 1;#
$dei_chunk = substr($letter_string,$start,$end);#
if ($flip == 1) { $dei_chunk =~ tr/a-z/A-Z/; $flip = 2;}#
else {$flip = 1;}#
substr($letter_string,$start,$end) = $dei_chunk;#
$start += $end; # In Buddhism it is said: "The end is the same as the beginning"#
#
####
### Had enough of this nonsense yet ?#
####
if ($start >= $length)#
{#
print "$letter_string\n";#
exit;#
} #
}#


-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 23, 1999.

Blue, this script would just go into a loop and crash my puter!

I tell you Blue, Dieter is definitely more than artificial intelligence, it has an organic ring to what he says. Question is, is it an amoeba or a human?

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), February 23, 1999.

Nope Chris, see that lil ol "exit" line ? This code works great ! Trust me ! There are no bugs ! Chris, you have to learn to trust technology, get into the 21st century, perhaps I could recommend a therapist for your "problem" ? ;-)

-- Blue Himalayan (bh@k2.y), February 23, 1999.

There is an old German named Dieter who dwells now in Beaverdam, Wisconsin. He survived through the aftermath of World War II and recounted how rich people would display their valuables in store windows, and each item would have a card stating what food or other essentials they would be willing to barter for it.

That Dieter is NoT THiS CyBERSpacE DiETer.

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), February 23, 1999.

Gore, Quayle, and Dieter, omigod, omigod, omigod. It might even get people to vote again. Although everytime Quayle comes to D.C., there's a village in Indiana missing its idiot.

-- Cash (cash@andcarry.com), February 23, 1999.

OH YOU eVIL EvIL MaN!!!!! WHy IN GODs NaME DO YOu BRInG UP BEAVERS?????? HOw emPTY IS YoUR SOuL TO TORmenT DIEtER ThIS Way????? WHO TOLd YOu????? who was THE dePraved INfIDEL WHo spOKE OF SUcH THINgs?????? I HATE HiM!!!!! DUCt tAPE FOR HiS EyEBRoWS IS NoT ENoUGH FOR HiM!!!!! KEEP YOuR EViL VICIoUS BEAveRS AWay frOm diETers shINS!!!!! AWAy YOu EViL DEvIL!!!!!! AWAY!!!! BEavERS!!!!! OH GOD in heAVen, BEaVERS ANd DIeTERS SHiNS!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), February 23, 1999.

lEAvE iT tO dIETer :)

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), February 26, 1999.