My husband doesn't understand and I am really scared and alone.greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
I'm not quite sure how to explain all the emotions that I am currently going through. I have just had another big row with my husband about Y2K. I have just been told that I am paranoid and that he is fed up with having to deal with it all the time. He doesn't think that the problem is all that serious and that things will be just fine next year.
The other day when I tried to read something to him that I had found over the net he went ballistic and we ended up having a huge argument. He shouted at me then, "what do you expect me to do about it." I attempted to write about it then but was too upset and thought better of it. However, I simply have to tell someone. This isn't a subject that I have a lot of people that I can talk to about. My mother will think I am crackers so I know I can't talk to her about it.
I am feeling really scared right now because my husband doesn't seem to understand. Over the past week he has confirmed my worst fears that he really wasn't that bothered about it. I have tried to talk to him about it, but felt that he didn't really care. He has now confirmed this and I don't know what to do now. I am scared for our children. I am really frightened about how I am feeling. I knew our marriage was on shaky ground but this situation is really bringing home how bad it has become. I really feel like packing up and leaving but where do I go and what do I do. It doesn't seem like a good time to be doing that right now. What really scares me is not being prepared and being stuck with someone who basically doesn't care. I can't imagine what he is going to be like if the SDHTF. I mean he's not much of a handy man at the best of times. He never does anything around the house or yard.
Over the years he has become even more mean-spirited and just plain hard to get on with. The other week he came home one Friday and was actually in a good mood. So much so that one of our children even remarked on how happy daddy was. It's bad when one of your children remarks on it. His happy mood didn't last for long though.
I don't know what to do now. I am really scared and can't believe that I now find myself in this awful position. I am really scared for our children. I have been trying to tell myself for the past two or three weeks that this Y2K thing isn't that bad but I can't shake this bad feeling that I have about it. I know my husband is not going to do anything about it and that anything I do shall cause problems.
Thank you for listening and I realise that somehow I have to deal with this situation myself and try and do what's best for my children. It's just right now I feel really alone and scared.
-- scared (email@example.com), February 18, 1999
Call Dr. Laura. You need family therapy. Cheat on him while he's at work and find a new man (a Y2K man), they are easy to find on the internet. Buy a gun and then kick his ass out of the house and tell him you have found someone else who understands. Send the children to a relative to live until things get better. Make sure YOU DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM and risk the chance of getting pregnant. Drain the bank account and open one up in your name. Children aren't stupid, they know daddy doesn't love mommy anymore. Get a life!
-- beentheretwice (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
If he is supplying you with a house & yard & food in a relatively safe place, and you have no other choice, stay. Be utterly sweet and don't say a word. Get a job of your own, and use the $$ to prepare. Start with water, then canned foods like soup, ravioli, tuna, etc. The first large batch of foods are easy no-water no-cook items. Then, things that need water added. Third, foods that need water & heat (cooking) applied to be edible.
Read the archives here, lots of prep info. Remember, start NOW with water.
If you have a place to go, rural relative, then take your leave quietly and sweetly. In any case, if your husband does not want to understand, it will only increase tension to try to force-cram the info. But you will find supportive companionship here, and you must take responsibility to prepare. Actually, surprisingly, it doesn't cost that much and if you chip away every day, you won't feel so scared and will make progress.
Will pray for harmony and peace to come to your home. All the best to you.
Ashton & Leska in Cascadia, poor but prepping anyway
xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxx
-- Leska (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
Maybe Y2K is the catalyst telling you about your relationship, and what is not working between you. Personally, Id look hard at what you really want in your life, and what you do not want.
Check out Y2K Women:
And .. Y2K News Magazine Chat Room for Y2K Women - Talk with other women and exchange ideas 24 hours a day! In cooperation with Y2K News Magazine.
-- Diane J. Squire (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
I'll be brief.
Know anybody that doesn't GET IT? Send them here. <:)=
-- Sysman (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
"He shouted at me then, "what do you expect me to do about it."
It sounds like he's overwhelmed.
This is a VERY TELLING statement. Men are problem solvers. Hand them an overwhelming situation and this is a common response. ( I'm not male bashing, I love guys) Responding with somthing like, 'Well, we can't prevent y2k, but there are some simple things we can do to be prepared, such as'....and then list some simple things. Start slowly, gradually adding on and eventually he may come up with things on his own.
That is exactly what my husband said. Now he says things like "Maybe we should think of buying a house somewhere rural"
GI's remember the moment they GI. This is HUGE.
If your marriage is already in trouble I would suggest marriage counceling, if he won't go, go yourself.
We were almost divorced 12 years ago. There was less than nothing left. (nothing + problems) We started from scratch. One day at a time. We're still together, we have ups & downs, good times and not so good times. But I'm glad we're still together.
If there are children involved, try.
If he is hitting you, either leave, or get an order of protection (restraining order) and have him banned from your home. Do not even consider reconciliation without successful joint counseling. I don't know about your state, but I know here you can file an emergency petition for child support (I have gone with friends to lend support).
My heart goes out to you, I have been there. I wouldn't want to go back, but I know my marriage would NOT be as strong if we had not gone through the 'bad times'.
-- Deborah (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
Deborah is on the right track. This is a Biggie. If he admits to himself that there is "something" to this "Y2K business" then he feels that he's got to solve the problem, at least for his/your family. And frankly, that's a problem he doesn't see how to handle, so denial (DGI/DWGI).
Best you can do is take it real slow with him, make your own plans, including him, if possible.
Re the DGI attitude, a friend and I once were talking about how society itself was going (U.S. gestapo -- alpabet agencies, banking system etc.) We came to the conclusion that we would have been better off lobotimized years ago. That way, we'd be fat, dumb and happy -- at least until we noticed we were in mid air off the cliff with the rest of the herd.
Once you've been to the top of the mountain, though, and seen beyond, you can't undo that.
-- A (A@AisA.com), February 18, 1999.
If you are reading this and you have a bruise from him, or one of the kids has a bruise or mark from him; get up, walk the kids out the door, drive to the nearest pay phone, dial 911, explain your problem, get admitted to a shelter, and go through the social services maze. DO NOT TAKE "WAIT TIL TOMORROW" FOR AN ANSWER!!! DO NOT STOP TO LOG OUT OR TURN OFF THE COMPUTER!!!
i made the mistake of NOT pushing someone into counseling, and buried her six months later. I WILL NEVER MAKE THAT ONE AGAIN!!!!!
sometimes I aint proud of bein a man
-- nope (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
One piece of good news for you: since you've brought the subject of Y2K up with your husband, he will "get it" maybe two or three months before the general public does.
There are several people I've mentioned Y2K to who didn't believe it at first, but caught on a few months later. I sensitized them to the issue, and then they caught little bits and pieces of Y2K news in the media during the following few months...bits and pieces that most people would have overlooked, but were paid attention to by these people since I'd already brought Y2K to their attention.
Here are a few convincing resources you might use as persuasion at the appropriate time (timing is everything)...
American Red Cross Y2K page:
An article on how Y2K might affect the Chicago area:
Roleigh Martin's Y2K handout suitable for mailing to neighbors anonymously:
-- Kevin (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
Dear Scared, My heart goes out to you and your children. You are the opposite side of the coin to me, for it was my wife who refused to believe me about Y2K. We were also going through a bad patch at the time, and the more "evidence" gathered from the Web that I tried to put in front of her nose, the more she "shut down" mentally and locked me out. My response was to yell at her, which didn't work. I told her we had to sell the house we had in Sydney and get out to somewhere remote. She would not agree, so when the house was sold she took her share of the funds (after debts had been paid) and took the two kids (boy and a girl, 13 years old now) and moved in with her mother. They used the money to add another floor to her parents house. As for me, I am out in the boonies of Queensland state, some 1,000 kms (about 650 miles?) from Sydney, in New South Wales state. I am completely powerless to directly affect her or the children. She will not discuss _anything_ with me, and neither she nor the kids reply to my letters. I dare not scare the kids by trying to explain this to them (I have tried previously) or I will lose what little access I have when I next make the trip to the big city... All I can do is keep preparing, pland fruit trees and vegetables, and pray really sincerely for the Lord to help us all. At the end of July 1998 I quit my city job at $40 an hour and went bush. Scared, you certainly are not alone. I wish you well! May God help all of us.
-- David Harvey (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
It seems to me that there are more marriages here where only one of the couple is GI, than there are of both GI's. Even when both do get it, one is usually more willing to prepare - as with my husband and I.
My DH (dear hubby) originally agreed to move out to an acreage if we could find one that met a rather lengthy list of requirements. We found one that met almost all, and he said "No, I don't want to live on an acreage; I didn't think we'd find a place, and I wanted to keep you happy." I debated leaving, but believe my daughters and I will be better off with him than without.
If your husband is a danger to you or your children, you need to leave him. This is not something I say lightly; I always believed that marriage oaths are binding. If you believe in God, pray. My prayers go out for you.
-- Name withheld (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
David, I live in Sydney (Mosman, to be exact.) If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know.
-- Leo (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
Scared my heart goes out to you. My husband is a very hard working, good, kind, tolerant, successful man. But he is also hard-headed, and very, very practical. He believes that diets, fashion, most of the media and government, all psychologists, lawyers, counselors, ministers and religion are the biggest scams ever perpetrated on the human race.
Before retirement he had been a building contracter in CA, farmed and worked in electronics. Naturally, after I'd studied y2k, and decided to tell him my concerns, I expected to be laughed at unmercifully. (He's good humored.) But after he read some things I'd printed from the Internet, he said, "Well, we'd better get ready." I made one list of what I would take care of, food, water, meds and clothes, and another for him, shelving, personal protection and long term living plans, (water, sanitation, etc.)
It's worked very well. The only exception was when I decided to order food from the Family Food Storage List, formerly called the Mormon Food Storage List. He said he's been cheated by Mormons once years ago (before my time) and once was enough. I ordered from them anyway, and also ordered from several other companies. Naturally that is the only one I've had trouble with, and naturally I've heard about it.
His motto could be "seeing is believing." But having worked in electronics, he realized how interconnected everything is and thought we should prepare.
Diane, those are good websites. I emailed them to a friend who has a disbelieving husband. I bet if I were searching for a pair of high-heeled, blue suede, tennis shoes and a man that would wear them just to please me, you would come up with the right link for me to find them.
-- gilda jessie (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
Personally, I'll risk not being ready for Y2K before I'll risk a break-up of my family.
Assuming that either a) not all of the marital problems are due to your husband (hint, hint) or b) he can be "salvaged", there are lots of good books on psychology and how to deal with other people. Some of these books are specific to families, but a general-purpose psychology book should be as useful. Unless your situation is hopeless, sadly, you had better spend at least 50% of your Y2K prep time fixing your family.
And tone-down the Y2K "alarmist" talk. He knows you are concerned. Keep dropping hints and take action, but let Dan Blather convince him the problem is real. If things get rough, the media will *eventually* tell people. Do what you can in the mean-time, without appearing to the average DWGI as a "nut".
"Don't cut your nose off to spite your face".
-- Anonymous99 (Anonymous99@anonymous.com), February 18, 1999.
Dear Scared @ home, A new mate is an excellent idea, as suggested by the good folks on this thread.
Please try here here
-- Chuck Woolery (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
why don't you buy a book or two about y2k? Maybe Ed's Timebomb 2000, Bruce Webster's Y2K Survival Guide, or Victor Porlier's book? (This one may actually be the best for newbies) leave 'em around the house. Quietly do a few prep type things for yourself. This will helpyou release your own nervous energy. Be noticeable but not blatant. Ignore him, but do what you gotta do. Don't bash him over the head with it, rather give him incentive to be curious and want to find out more and join you. Above all, protect yourself, and do what is best for you and your kids...
-- pshannon (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
RE: above post by "Chuck W." Geez, and just when you'ld think that trolls would have a shread of common decency. Big hint - In times of stress fools are not suffered gladly. When societies break down, laughing at somebody else's misery just might get you killed. Think of it as evolution in action.
Back to thread. A point to remember: at some point in time EVERYBODY will be a GI. At that point it will be too late for preparations and it will be time to take action. The suggestion of getting together with a rural friend is excellent. What you need to do is to prepare by purchasing what you need, now. You did not state what your finances are or if funds are available. If at all possible stock up on items that will help you 1. eat 2. drink 3. stay warm. Remember those are the essentials, those will keep you alive. Everything else is a luxury item. Lights at night are a nice luxury item, but eating well is more important. Start with the morman 4 and work your way up. See
for inexpensive survival techniques. $200.oo Katadyns are nice, but $15.00 worth of pwdered pool bleach will sterilize about 350,000/700,000 gallons of water. Same goes for freeze dried food versus cornell bread. It is not necessary to get your husbands approval to do the right thing. Stocking up on groceries that are on sale is called prudent shopping. Eating whole grain bread that you bake yourself from wheat you grind yourself is called improved (vastly) nutrition. Where do you live? In a earthquake, hurricane, or tornado area? Are you prepared for those?
On the 4th item, protection. A person that has one single gun and is proficeint with it is usually better off than a person that has a small armoury but hasn't practiced much. Old chinese saying, "Beware of the person that owns only one gun." A Ruger 10/22 that is well shot with ease (no startle factor from flash, report, or recoil) and hits it's target is better than a big loud .308 that misses.
P.S. If your husband is physcally abusive, take that other person's above advice a few posts back and leave, NOW. Period.
-- Ken Seger (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
Start easy, start small and inexpensive. But start so you feel more comfortable - and he is not "threatened" by being overwhelmed or impotant in the face of world-wide events beyond his control (our control too - at this point.)
One. Your job is food and water. And health for you and the kids.
Each week this year, get 1 can of soup (or beans or ravioli, or corn, or something) per person in your family. Don't get fancy. Don't get carried away. Just do your grocery shopping ... plus a little in the basement shelf.
Look for empty water barrels or containers (Y2K expo, food store, milk jugs,.....) and have a place to fill them and store them next December.
Three. His job is shelter.
Ask him to clean your chimney. Ask him to look at lanterns, a portable stove or woodstove (if you want to spend that much), a fireplace insert, or wood for the fireplace. Your job is food and water - his is heat and lights. Ask him to check out blankets, or sleeping bags, or something if there is only one room in the house that can be heated. Ask him to get flashlights, some lanterns. Check out solar panel re-chargers for batteries. Ask him to find out how to run a heater and cookstove from a propane tank. How many propane tanks (if you have one now for the barbarque grill) does he think would be needed for two weeks?
Let him decide. He can do it - once started by succeeding at small but vital first steps.
You can too.
-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
Oh how my heart goes out to you! Many of the posters here have given wonderfully supportive advice. You will find that the people on this forum are very caring, knowledgeable people. Many have "been there and done that".
In my opinion, you need to put your children first. Think of it this way: What if some terrible disaster were about to befall your children? What if you knew about it ahead of time? Could you live with yourself if you did nothing to save them?
This struck home with me the other day as I picked my kids up from daycare after work. All these children, do their parents know? Are they preparing? Will my child's friends survive? It brought me to tears just thinking about it.
God bless you and give you strength to do what has to be done.
-- Sharon in Texas (Sking@drought-ridden.com), February 18, 1999.
Scared: Others here have made some good suggestions. My own experience was exactly the opposite. I'm the guy. I was "Get's Its" and Mrs. Rimmer was the "Doesn't Get It". Here a thread from last October here where I posted about my own experience in this regard (mine is the 3rd post down).
You've got some very critical thinking to do in the immediate future. There are things you must decide for yourself and you must then have the courage of your convictions and the will to follow through. I can't tell you what is right for your particular situation nor how severe the Y2K problems where you live will (or won't) be. I can tell you that panic will not help. But time is getting short and if you have come the conclusion that the potential for severe problems is real (as I have), then positive action on your part needs to begin immediately, with or without your husband. In short, you must take responsibility for your own situation and your own actions.
If you have other family or friends that could be of assistance, do not hesitate to enlist their aid.
Good luck and remember that you have many potential friends here who have been through and understand what you are going through now. Though they may not understand the details of your specific situation, you will find them quite supportive. As you can see from the suggestions above, we are not all of the same mindset here - there are significant differences in our evaluation of the potential for Y2K as well as our political, religeous and philosophical beliefs. There are also vast differences in experience. This diversity is a key element to the strength of this group.
-- Arnie Rimmer (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
scared.....the way you describe the home environment, the real problem existed way before Y2k came on the scene. You need to get that worked on first.
As far as y2k arguments go, I think it depends on what you are telling him about Y2K. If you are simply saying that it is prudent to make reasonable contingency plans, some food and water, source of heat etc., then he is unreasonable to ignore you. If however, you have gone Milne or Infomagic in your descriptions to him, then there is no wonder he doesn't want to hear from you.
I understand you are scared for your children. One word of caution. If this man is unbearable and you are planning on leaving, you may want to lay off the Y2K talk completely with him. Most separations/divorces get ugly and the children are often used as weapons. If he decides he wants the children, all he may have to do is tell the court that you are a Y2K wacko who is obsessed with the end of the world, and you can kiss them goodbye. I'm very serious. Albeit a Milne scenario may have a one in a thousand chance, it's not very likely. If you take the advice of some of the extremists in this group, your husband may decide that you are a threat to both him and the children and probably wouldn't have too much difficulty convincing a judge of that.
Look at an example of what Y2K panic has already caused. An earlier post by David reads:
... All I can do is keep preparing, pland fruit trees and vegetables, and pray really sincerely for the Lord to help us all. At the end of July 1998 I quit my city job at $40 an hour and went bush. Scared, you certainly are not alone. I wish you well! May God help all of us. ......
Here's a guy that has lost access to his wife and family because of his rash reaction to a potential Y2K problem. He quit a $40 and hour job and moved to the bush!!! And then he has the audacity to call on God for help!! If he would only listen, he may hear the voice of God tell him to get back home, plead for his job back and ask his wife and family to forgive him.
Scared...remember, many in this forum have long since left the arena of prudent personal contingency plans and moved way down the highway to MadMaxVille. Remember Mad Max and Road Warrior are no more real than MadMilne and Infomagic Warrior.
Lighten up for your own sake. Heck, you could get hit by a car tomorrow or blown up by a nuke in ten years. Who knows. There is nothing whatsoever to be gained by panicking about the situation or blowing it completely out of proportion.
-- Craig (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
Dear Scared Wife,
I went through exactly what you are going through. Same scenes with hubby. Except I didn't write about it here, I wasn't aware of the forum then.
I was an emotional basket case. Was hard to think clearly. One thing kept me going and not give up, my kids. So when I sat down and thought about it one night, I realized I had no choice. It was my duty as a mother to protect my children. It was my priority #1. I was convinced of their safety being in jeopardy by Y2K, so I stood by my convictions.
What I did the next day is tell my husband, "you either help me prepare or at least not stand in my way, or it's divorce. I take the kids and my money out of this house." I meant it and it was obvious to him. The difference between you and me is that we weren't in shaky grounds in our marriage. We went through a lot in our 20 years of marriage and survived and thrived. But his denial and unwillingness to face the facts with y2K was putting everyone's lives in the family in jeopardy. Drastic times need drastic measures.
He came around very slowly. At first we stopped talking about Y2K completely while I was starting to prepare, but he didn't get in my way. If he didn't come around, I was ready to leave. I would have found a small house or appartment to rent in a small, safer community, and prepare as best as I could. To me, at least it's better than nothing, I would have had a clear concience that I tried my best to protect my kids.
Now my husband helps me with preparations. He is still not on the same level of "getting it" or fearing Y2K as I am, but I can live with that. It was hard and an emotional roller coaster. Still is, I have to deal with the uncertainties and some sleepless nights, but at least I have the peace of mind of doing active preparations.
Be strong and stand by your kids. You can do it, you're a woman.
-- Chris (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
Gee, Craig. You really know how to comfort a person.
-- NOT! (firstname.lastname@example.orgJERK), February 18, 1999.
Hey Jerk Ass.....
The lady needs sound advice.....far more than comfort. If you want to comfort her by saying all is well and keep on badgering your husband, that's your business.
I made two distinct points, both of which are valid.
#1 There was a problem way before Y2K. Work on the root problem first. #2 Don't put yourself at risk if there is any possibility at all of a break-up, by being too vocal about Y2K, as that may jeapordize her chances of having custody of her children.
I also used 'Davids' example of what can happen if you take Y2K too far.
All was said in the spirit of wanting to help this person.....
If you have some ideas of your own, why not share them instead of prattling on with your knee-jerk assholic attitude.
-- Craig (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
I had never had a fight with my husband in seven years until this, believe it or not. You need a strategy and you need documentation.
- Collect the most compelling evidence here, and then summarize it concisely, because you may not hold his attention for long at any given time.
- Prepare your summary in written form, with citations, and keep the backup documents.
- Say "Honey, I love you, would you just give me five minutes without interruption." Then stretch it into ten to present your case.
- Present a weekly update, daily could overwhelm, cause hostility.
- Be very sweet, make his favorite foods, etc.
- Prepare a y2k budget so he can see exactly what supplies you need, and get a handle on it, rather than being a nebulous, ominous unknown.
- Watch for Kevin's postings, he has often focused on persuasion of the newcomers. (see above)
The one that made my husband see the light was the Gary North transcript from Art Bell. I took a highlighter to the most compelling points (many), sat him down, said "give me fifteen minutes" and presented my case. Yes, Gary North wants to speed up / cause the end of the world for religious purposes, but he is persuasive, articulate, provides documentation. If your husband is at all receptive, I'd start the "strategy" with this, after the "sweet" phase. Then move to more credible sources, like Yourdon's book, Timebomb 2000. The only problem with the book was that it was overwhelming with information, and your brain begins to shut down. That's why to start with North, he hits you over the head with a comprehensive summary of the potential scenario.
My husband now disdains North, but that is what opened his eyes, and he is actively researching on his own and supports preparing. The point is, he refused to read the transcript on his own, so I had to basically read it to him, but a very CONCISE version. Here is the address: http://bbs.rowlandnet.com/cgi-bin/WebX?14@^593514@.ee75da8/0
Men tend to want to solve the entire problem, and if they can't, they often ignore it or refuse to face it. They get upset and angered if they feel helpless. (Emotional creatures.) Step him through it, little by little, with a solid, well-thought out plan that he can see as a physical thing on a piece of paper. But remember CONCISE AND PRECISE, so it's not overwhelming and cause him to shut down.
-- mabel (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
Mabel, I am very impressed. This is mostly what I ended up doing to persuade my husband. I agree with every point you made, except one (below). And your comment on men's psych of fix it or forget it is right on, although it's not insurmountable. Most simply need time to disentisize themselves to this overwhelming idea of helplessness. And as evidence keep coming in, it registers in their subconcious. A good book to understand the way women and men think and operate is "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus". It helps a lot to diffuse the tension when we understand why our husband sometimes shuts us out when attempting to reach them with whatever thought/idea/problem we have.
For me it was a mistake to show my husband printed articles that showed Gary North's name on it at first. It stopped his research on the net dead in its track the very first day when he came upon a bio of North exposing him as a reconstructionist wacko. But Kevin's links are a very good starting source, IMO.
-- Chris (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
I've got a family member who still doesn't expect things to be bad...but when I started making concrete preparations, I found out he was willing to help out anyway. FWIW.
-- Shimrod (Shimrod@lycosmail.com), February 18, 1999.
Maybe I did get that from Venus and Mars, what an excellent book. After a lifetime of questioning the logic of men, it all made sense.
True, North was a double-edged sword. But after a couple months of researching, that transcript remains for me the most compelling item to introduce the big picture. Despite being insulted by his religious views, I can't get over his ability to define the problem well. He makes no mention of the religious aspect in the transcript. My husband was somewhat disillusioned about y2k after finding out about North, but the seeds of knowledge had been sown, and he could process newer incoming items within the context. But there was hostile resistance for a couple weeks.
Attitude will be key. Hysteria ruins credibility. Your role models should be Spock and Data, the essence of logic. Another analogy is to act as if you are preparing a presentation before the Board. Get your ducks in a row. You are calm and peaceful and intelligent. Your husband really needs to be calmed. But I think most of the time when men get mad, walk away, won't listen, if you have presented a logical case, they will be quietly thinking about it. You have planted seeds. (Too many metaphors?)
Plans are being made for our protection. The National Guard, local police and sheriffs. There will be warming shelters, food distribution (I'm assuming this one). But wouldn't you rather have your own? As someone said: food, water, heat.
-- mabel (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
Know that you are not alone. We are praying for you.
Do what YOUR heart and YOUR mind tell you to do.
-- Greybear (email@example.com), February 18, 1999.
We'll keep you in our prayers here, too. Pray for your husband, that God might turn his heart around.
Note for Ken Seger: In your post here you mention powdered pool bleach for sterilizing water. Unless I am much mistaken, it is different from liquid bleach, like Clorox, and understand that using it to purify drinking water will kill you via renal (kidney) failure.
-- Why2K? (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 18, 1999.
Doesn't make sense - if it (the powdered bleach) were a product for adding to pool water - they'd have to assume people would end up swallowing it. Maybe you're thinking of an excess amount, or adding it in too high a concentration? Check, do they warn abouit swimming immediately after adding it to the water?
It's a technical question about safety - make absolutely sure both ends (the poster and the reader) get the right info!
-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (email@example.com), February 19, 1999.
Dear scared wife, Your husband sounds a lot like mine. He will not believe that things will get too bad. I mention things I read once in a while and we listen to some talk Radio programs that talk about Y2K. He does not think we need much stored away. I have been buying extra canned goods for several months. I have 3 20lb bags of rice under the bed right now until I can pack it up into the 5gal plastic containers I have tucked away. I have lots of 2L bottles of water under the guest bed and tucked away in the garage. Clean out all the cubords and closets and fill them up with food. I have 5 gal containers under the circular lamp tables in the bedrooms. He never looks under the tableclothes. Or under the beds. I have 6 24roll packs of TP up in the top of the girls closets. I am packing things in every nook and cranny I can find. I got out our old camping stove and fired it up. He knows I bought an extra can of fuel "Just in case we have a bad storm" I plan to pick up extras at every trip to Wallmart. Right now I have about 4 months of food stored up. I will add to that every week when I do my grocery shopping. I have updated out first aid kit and I refill all of our meds as often as I can. I plan to have 2-3 months on hand. You can make preparations a little at a time. Try to get your hubby to think about the power outage you had in a storm and get ready for that much and then build on that.
-- Lea (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 20, 1999.
Came upon this Editorial on a Y2K info website. Might be a good arguement for your husband.
"We are almost there. Almost in a new millenium. Some of us are scared. Some of us are indifferent. Like 1000 years before, the mythical ideas, the end of the world makes a comeback. God or the bible is no longer the reason.Y2K is now the excuse. Sure there will be problems. But haven't we rebuilt after 2 world wars? Aren't we building an ecommerce revolution that will change the way we shop? We urge everybody to be prepared for the worst. Y2K might be like the blizzard that never came. Being ready for a storm never hurt anybody. The world war II generation would give everything to be on our shoes today"
-- Chris (email@example.com), February 20, 1999.
"Men are from Mars Women are from Venus"
Wifey and I watched that video and we laughed often because so much of it applied to us.
From this discussion I realize why I usually get along better with women than with men. Why do so many men not behave like men anymore? I think most of them wear shorts that are too tight, or something like that. Or maybe its their ear rings.
Chris, what do you think? You always have great insight.
-- fly .:. (.@...), February 20, 1999.
I very much wish I could help you because I know exactly how you feel. I've seen your plight in living color.
There is still time. Your husband's mind is closed. Open it slowly and carefully over days and weeks. Don't tell him yet what he has to do but let him think he is getting it on his own. Talk with him in a placating tone and don't accuse him of anything because he can't handle it emotionally. Ask him questions and let him decide why life will go on as ususal.
I sound like that proverbial nagging husband.
My thoughts and feelings are with you. You can do it.
-- Not Again! (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 20, 1999.
"From this discussion I realize why I usually get along better with women than with men. Why do so many men not behave like men anymore?" -fly
Because men have an image to uphold in front of other men. It's the animal "leader of the pack" instinct. We women know that men have the same feelings and emotions as we do, but we often forget that the men are programed into never showing them lest they be seen as weak by other men. The men tend to forget that women don't give a hoot about male competition. Men behave like "public men", but not like their true inner selves.
"Open it slowly and carefully over days and weeks. Don't tell him yet what he has to do but let him think he is getting it on his own."--Not Again
And Not Again gives an effective way to pierce that macho programing ;-)
-- Chris (email@example.com), February 21, 1999.
" Because men have an image to uphold in front of other men. It's the animal "leader of the pack" instinct "
You are so right.
Is this mainly the way boys were raised? Incessant balling thoughout their school years. Chasing a foofball, basketball and other balls has became the most important goal and achievement in the lives of our students.
It has reached the height of ludicrousness, at least around here. Our neighbors complain about being tired from the ball games. Some travel 200 miles after work to play/attend ball games.
In the meantime America is unreavelling and they fail to notice. They are not supposed to.
-- Not again! (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 21, 1999.