Death will spread her wings across the land! Cannibalism to become common. : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

How can any sane individual ignore the truth that there are gonna be a whole lotta dead people around in the next year and a half? There will be so many dead that it will be impossible to bury them all. Mass cremation will be the only solution. I could even see these turning into BBQ's for the hungary survivors left-ever hear of the Donner Party and their adventures? Ever read Lucifer's Hammer? My guess is that canniablism becomes standard practice in the next couple years. But then again people could get sick if they ate people who starved to death or died of disease. Anyone care to add anything here.

-- Will cannibalism happen? (, February 17, 1999



-- Dieter (, February 17, 1999.

How do you like yours done, Dieter?

-- dave (, February 17, 1999.

now Dave, just let the nice trolls gibber at each other...


-- Arlin H. Adams (, February 17, 1999.

I won't eat the brain cause that causes a disease called the "laughing disease." On second thought I guess if nothing else is left, I can laugh myself to death! Medium well thank you, and catsup on the side.

-- ROTFLMBO (, February 18, 1999.

The ghouls are up and about...

--- Got Tabasco?

-- The Tall Man (, February 18, 1999.

Another total doom 'n gloom thread started this evening. This has been a major trend during the past week or so.

Someone is trying to outdo Paul Milne and Infomagic, but it's a bit (!) too obvious.

-- Kevin (, February 18, 1999.

Anybody got good recipes?

If they do, email them to me.

Now I can thank God for marauders. Walking steaks!

-- Paul Milne (, February 18, 1999.

Het Dave Dieter's ona diet.

-- Andy (, February 18, 1999.

I think Dieter will taste nice.... just like chicken...

Andy... 1 bite, 2 gulps, the smallest burp...

-- The Tall Man (, February 18, 1999.

Before you resort to cannibalism, read this from the l977 American Heritage Magazine. The following are the words of Judge M. B. Gerry, who sentenced Alferd E. Packer to death after he'd killed and eaten five people during a Colorado blizzard in 1873:

"Stand up, you man-eating son-of-a-bitch, and receive your sentence! There were seven Democrats in Hinsdale County, but you, you voracious, man-eating son-of-a-bitch, you ate five of them. I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you're dead, dead, dead, as a warning against reducing the Democratic population of the state." And you think today's officials are partisan!

There was a whole long post on the Gary North's Food Storage forum, along with a recipe for "Long Pig," which I printed out, to save in my archives of this interesting period. Maybe the same troll wrote it.

Reading "Deadly Feasts" by Richard Rhodes would quickly cure most people from even the idea of cannibalism.

-- gilda jessie (, February 18, 1999.

Tall man, best laugh I've had since I read a's and Michaels posts in the sad day in america thread!

-- Andy (, February 18, 1999.


-- Dieter (, February 18, 1999.


What an intelligent an creative man you must be. You can turn your Caps Lock on and off randomly to create a goofy effect. How original.

Of course, not everyone appreciates your obviously artistic flare, but that's only because they are not aware that you were born with 80% of your brain missing and the other 20% a combination of tartar sauce and sawdust.

Keep on typing, you great big Caps Lock hero you.

-- Craig (, February 18, 1999.

People are not a food group. Nor are pets. Next topic?

-- me (, February 18, 1999.

CrAIG I will not INSuLT YOU!!!! WHY YOuASK???? I HAVESEEN you r tHinking, and so have CONCLUDED THAT YoU ARE NOT A FOOL!!! is it not joyouS THAT YOU ARE NOT FOOLiSSH???? You boDe well for thOSE WHO THRouGH NO FAULT OF THEIR OwN WERE BORN of canadian EXTRACTIONS, Do you not/???

-- Dieter (, February 18, 1999.

I don't like to eat diets. I'm skinny enough as-is. (For you politically corrupt types - I guess I'm horizontally challenged, vertically enhanced, or "circumferentially challenged in the beltline".)

Now, aside from eating dieter's, I've few other dietary restrictions about eating out. But that's between me and my lovely wife, so leave our private lives out of this thank you.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, February 18, 1999.

ewwww! I Dieter is rotten meat. Be choosy guys, diseased meat will make you sick and then you'll end up food for another unsuspecting canibal.

I could go for sweet breads on a stick right now, like Robert and Andy's brains...mmmmMMMmmm

-- Chris (, February 18, 1999.

Dear Scaremonger,

I am sure that your predictions will be wrong. I've lived worst case TEOTWAKI for many years. More than 1 million people starved to death in Germany after WW2. I DON'T remember EVER hearing about 1 case of cannibalism.

Like I said before, my brother and I, aged about 4 and 6 years old, were forced by our mother to gather pig's guts from a fresh manure pile and ate them.

There was not even a police or jail in town of seveal 100's of people. We children roamed freely around, even after dark and never thought anything of it.

My prediction, JUST MY OPINION: If we get TEOTWAWKI then we'll have marshal law. Looters, rapists, etc. will be shot on sight. No more endless lawyering. Pampering.

-- Not Again! (, February 18, 1999.

Definitly fresh pig's guts are a delicacy compared to human flesh N.A. Well rinsed, even more appetizing. It's the gathering of them off a manure pile that I'm not looking forward to, but then again it can't be worse than cleaning-up human manure off an old sick lady's butt. Just ask Leska, we get used to these things pretty quickly when we have to. I was raised eating liver and other organ meats, I still like it to this day. If it's fresh, I'll eat anything. Guts are still used to encase sausages.

Not Again, you're right, there won't be canibalism among ordinary Americans. It will be confined to a few unordinary people. Nothing for us to worry about. Martial Law on the other hand...

-- Chris (, February 18, 1999.

Thank you mR HAVING SEENIT BEfORE!!! You to are AN EXPOSER OF FOOLISHNESS ExtrordINAIRE, ISthat not true??? You were ONE TIME AGO ACCUsED OF FOOLISHNESS, WERE YoU NOt???? BY yOUR PERSISTANCE YOU HAve prooved the FOOLS WRONG, AND HAVE Overcome accusations of FOOLISHNESS YOURSElf!!! WHy cannot people see THIS???ThoSE WHO CANNOt see the FOOLS AMONG US are doomed!!! DOOOMED I SAY!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 18, 1999.

Well, I see you, I guess I'm safe.

-- Chris (, February 18, 1999.

lol Tallman...

is the "ball" y2k compliant?

Andy, I laughed at your comments too. Guess we have something in common.

Mike =====================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (, February 18, 1999.

Touche Mike :)

-- Andy (, February 18, 1999.

Chris, the more I learn about you the more you amaze me.

Dieter, what did you fry your brains with? Ot did someone do it to you? I would like to try it.

-- Not Again! (, February 18, 1999.

Now I'm beginning to wonder....isn't it rather sexist to presume "death" in the title of this here thread is a woman?

Granting the requirement for cannibalism may exist so that the fit may be fed, how do you prepare to feed the food so the food stays thick enough to feed to the fit? Would there not be a problem of diminishing returns if the food goes unfed for period of 2-3 months? If so, what happens after 4 months, when the food is now longer fit for food? Feed the food to the food so the food is better for the fit? But then you have less food for the fit.

And, if troubles begin Jan 01, you still need to preserve the food until at least crops come in - say mid-June earliest for even beans or cucumbers - therefore one must presume enough food for the food for a period between when the fit eat the food, the food eat the food, and the food from farm fruitfully feeds the famished fit and food.

That should clear everything up.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, February 18, 1999.

Thank you Robert, now I need about a week to ponder this and figure it all out.

Not Again, please accept my apology, I didn't mean to belittle what you said. I don't know what I meant. I got cought up in the atmosphere of this thread and went too far with my attitude I guess. This thread is silly, with black humor, it was in that spirit.

-- Chris (, February 18, 1999.

TRY to T tf remember THIS MR. SEEN SO!!!!! My bRAiN IS NOT FRIED, What maKes you SAYso???? You of all HERE SHOULD Know what FALSE ACCUSaTIoNS OF FOOLiSHnESS ARE!!! What is it thAT YOU WOULD WISH TO TRY???? FRYInG MY BRAINS??? OR IS ITfrying YouR brains??? WHY IS IT thatYOU Are not clEAr with yoUr intent???? It is norMALLLEy DIFIcult for you TO POST Less THAN fIVE tHousaND WORDS, is it NOT???? VERBOSEitY I SAY!!!!

-- Dieter (, February 18, 1999.

Chris, Chris, Chris,

This is abominbull (abdominable ?) behavior - now you're bringing the race card by claiming this tread contains (gasp) "black humor." Please, be sensitive to our more politically corrupt readers and watch your language more carefully.

We shall have done of that as we carefully discuss cannibalism and the massive death of millions of less fit food particles! I expect better from you in the future!

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, February 19, 1999.

SILENCE!!!! what will be NeXT???? Will DiEter be accused OF BEiNG NIgGARdLY???? What is this fooLISHNESS OF LaNGUAGE parSING???? HUSH NOW!!!

-- Dieter (, February 19, 1999.

Robert, I'm still a little confused on a few points:

There might be an overall loss if the food goes unfed for 2-3 months, but who says that the food has to be fed food fit for the fit? They're going to be food, anyway, so as long as you keep them fed with food that keeps them thick and not sick, then you can count on fit food for the fit by summertime.

If you feed the food for the fit to the food, you are correct: the fit will be less fit than the food by the time the food is ready for the fit, if they were fit. Almost like a role reversal, here. This sounds like a recipe for revolt.

And finally, I'm not sure I understand your proposal in your last para, where you say, "...therefore one must presume enough food for the food for a period between when the fit eat the food, the food eat the food, and the food from farm fruitfully feeds the famished fit and food."

It sounds like you are saying that the fit must assure that there is enough food for both the fit and the food until the farm has produced enough fruit for both the food and fit. But, if that were true, then the food wouldn't have to be food (the first year) and the problem doesn't appear in the first place.

I'm assuming, of course, that the food and the fruit are both grown from non-hybrid seeds.


-- LP (, February 20, 1999.

Yes Sir Rob sir, once again I feel ashamed and famished. I said "black humor" in an attempt to be neutral, as my colorful humor is not always misunderstood.

I'm still trying hard to comprehend your fit food for the unfit solution (is that the right title?),and now that LP added to it, I feel overwhelmed. I fear I'll never GI! I tried switching to Cabernet Sauvignon instead of whiskey fruitcake, but it seems to only make matters worse. I see two fits where there should only be a fit food, and two foods having a fit fight. I can deal with food fights, but this....

-- Chris (, February 20, 1999.

I think this thread is fit to be tied....your logic LP (as in LP's, CD's, or 8 track's ? Beta or VHS ) is beautiful and cannot be assailed - unless one is tacking against the wind.

I stand and salute in silent awe of your talents...mainly because I don't have a sound card.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, February 21, 1999.

Robert, I agree with you: this is somewhat of a knotty problem for those that may find themselves confronted with food unfit for consumption, and that this thread does introduce a few hitches in the food chain.

My sense of logic probably comes from the fact that I have spent most of my life tacking against the wind with staples instead of tacks. You honor me with your comments, sir.

BTW, I don't have a sound card either, but I found that moving my lips and mumbling while I read helps somewhat.

Chris, I sincerely apologize. It certainly wasn't my intent to give you or anyone else fits. I was just a little unclear on some of Robert's finer points, and since I figured that he had offered fit food for thought, it would be fitting if I knew what I was trying to digest if for no other reason than to avoid the GIs.

FWIW, I think your point that there should only be fit food is well taken. It fits.

LP - as in between 45 and 78

-- LP (, February 22, 1999.

Oh my god Dieter! How could I have been such an infidel?! A fool fit to feed the unfits! I'm having a GI fit at the thought of it! Sir Robert knew, but I was fooled by the effects of your diet on your famished form. "WHy cannot people see THIS???ThoSE WHO CANNOt see the FOOLS AMONG US are doomed!!!" I called you a FOOL Dieter, I'm doomed! wait...I see that I'm a fool, maybe I have a chance? Maybe I'm fit to feed the fits? Gawd, someone get me out of the archives!

-- Chris (, September 23, 1999.

roflmao Chris!!!

get out...get out! I remember this



-- Michael Taylor (, September 23, 1999.

ROFLMAOPNP!!! It's not even the weekend! LOL I know. It's the combination equinox and full moon.

Sick'im Oscifer DiETer!

--She in the sheet who vows never to call herself mad again! ROFL

-- Donna (, September 23, 1999.

dieter, you are are one sick insane asshole, and I hate you.

-- ed (, September 23, 1999.

Is the FEeLing NOT LIKEwiSE Mr boNd-Ed?????? OF COursE!!!!!! JAckaSS!!!

-- Dieter (, September 24, 1999.

What're y'all trying to do, scare the newbies to death? Poor buggers just read articles about the Senate 100 days report, come here looking for info, and this is what they get! Newbies--go to the preps forum, hotlink under "About" at the top of the main page. These people are all right, really, it's just their way of letting off steam.

Now, is it true that human flesh tastes like pork or is that just an old wives' recipe? If so, can we call it "the other white meat nobody talks about?" Do vegetarians taste different to non-veggies?

-- Old Git (, September 24, 1999.

Cannibalism is next to insanity. Don't think about it folks.

Here you go OG, how to avoid it.

Preparation Forum!! Please Check it out!

 TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) Preparation Forum Top Level

TB Year 2000 Classic Preparation Archive

Choose the category you are interested in and press Enter. The link will appear in a new page. Close window to return.


-- Brian (, September 24, 1999.

Old Git, vegetarians are sorta stringy and dry. Ya don't wanna go there; try plumper omnivoracious pickings ;^)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, September 24, 1999.

At first I was going to contradict the lovelies A & L, 'til I figured out the method to their madness...hahaha...Yes indeedy, we vegetarians are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to dry and stringy. Heck any self-respecting cannibal couldn't get their daily amount of anything from my sinews...LOL

--She in the Sheet sings soy songs to the world.

-- Donna (, September 24, 1999.

Donna, you mean we vegetarians sing "Soy to the World"? And I know your response--"Oh, SHEET!"

-- Old Git (, September 24, 1999.

Dang, I wish I'd said that!!! :-)

(((((Old Git)))))

--She in the sheet exits the room gaily singing: "Soy to the world, the famine comes,..."

-- Donna (, September 24, 1999.

Oh not ANOTHER opening! As Somebody Famous said to Wilde when he said the same thing, "Don't worry, Oscar, you will, you will."

-- Old Git (, September 24, 1999.

For more info on canibalism ,loomponics has a new book on field dressing and butchering humans.Doing it right is harder than you might Hmmm,maybe this should've been posted on the prep forum.

-- zoobie (, September 24, 1999.

And never forget: Ghouls just wanna have buns!

-- Donna (, September 24, 1999.

The god of the cannibals will be a cannibal, of the crusaders a crusader, and of the merchants a merchant. Ralph Waldo Emerson

-- Donna (, September 24, 1999.

Remember movie "Soylent Green"? And the infrastructure was working just fine.

-- A (, September 24, 1999.

zoobie: Minor correction:

-- A (, September 24, 1999.

The scariest thing is that this is already such a l-o-n-g thread.

The second most scary thing is (to me, anyway) is that I sat and read ALL of it...

-- Bokonon (, September 24, 1999.

But don't eat any clowns; they taste funny.

-- pete (, September 24, 1999.

Forum moderator----

I recommended this forum to my good friends in-laws not one hour ago.

After reading this series of posts I fear I will be at a loss as to what to recommend next.

If you could at least explain why you choose not to delete the whole string maybe they will come back.


-- jim (, September 25, 1999.

Y2K is very serious, very frightening. Those of us who have parked ourselves here at TB2K have Gallows Humor Sanctuary on certain threads. Quickly obvious which threads, once you become acquainted with the Forum. Without the humor, comradery, and various relief valve threads, we might all have become, um, unbalanced ;^) Simply tell your friends that TB2K has a wide variety of posters, and some have found constructive ways to prepare emotionally, and some threads are better left unexamined by newbies.

If you think about Y2K long enough, and do enough research, you may find yourself "Coming Home" to these threads with a broad smile, a belly laugh, and a sigh of relief. Until then ... click on by ...

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, September 25, 1999.

When this thread was started, there were many others like it around the same time, sorta wild 'n hysterical in tone, concocted by trolls to discredit the Forum and paint it with the lunatic fringe brush. This particular one evolved past the general mayhem on the other threads :-)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, September 25, 1999.

Ashton & Leska,

Thanks for the explanation.

My wife always says I should get a sense of humor.

I'll go get her so we can reread this together.

-- jim (, September 25, 1999.

ooooo, Jim, how about reading some more low-key articles about Y2K first? If you think through many of the facts presented, and step-by-step follow the implications, you will develop your inevitable sense of humor on a healthier foundation. These threads are well along the Y2K GI process -- not as therapeutic for newbies! After the Y2K Disconnect drives you a little crazy, and the spin dizzies you, and you try to do a little community outreach, the real-world experiences will begin marinating your attitude to develop a taste for these threads. Not appetizers for beginners! Have been known to upset the stomach if not conditioned yet to these spices ...

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, September 25, 1999.

This particular one evolved past the general mayhem on the other threads :-)

thANK yOU, tHANk yOu vERY MuCH!!!!!! (LAdieS And gentLemEN DIeTeR HaS LEFt THE buiLdiNg)

pLEaSE fOLkS, gO HoME NoW!!!!!! reALLy!!!! he's GOnE!!!!

-- Dieter (, September 25, 1999.

What do you call a leper in a hot tub?


Just heard that joke from one of the 9 year olds at the community center my wife works at, earlier this evening. It seemed somehow appropriate to this thread...

-- Bokonon (, September 25, 1999.

Bokonon -- you mean children (sob, sniff) can appreciate gallows (politically incorrect) humor also? What is this world coming to? :-)

-- A (, September 25, 1999.

Jim, I had to stop and think about how this would appear to someone who hadn't been around this forum for very long. You're right, it would be pretty gruesome. But if you realize that the responses are ridiculing the poster who started this thread, who was a) serious, or b) trying to cause dissension, then you can see this is a good way to answer the post without screaming and yelling and getting everybody upset.

Another related example is the King of Spain, who asks all and sundry if they mud-wrestle. The first time I read the question I was miffed and told him so. Chauvinist pig! But as time went on it was obvious that this was His Majesty's method of puncturing pompous posts. (Sorry, alliteration uninentional.) Then the question became such an expected part of any new female's (and sometimes male's!) welcome that it seemed odd not to see it. Then you had people saying they felt they had "arrived" when KoS asked them to mud-wrestle. Dieter is another one--I remember caustic comments when he first started posting. Just about everyone loves Dieter now; there's very clever humor in his posts, IM not-so-HO.

Unfortunately, some people never develop an amicable following because of comments they've made during their stay here. They shall remain nameless, but if you see someone make a post that looks innocuous and can't understand why people jump on that person and insult the hell of of him or her, wait a while and, in all likelihood, you'll understand the reaction. If not, just ask and someone will be happy to explain.

Welcome to the board, Jim! Please explain to your in-laws that we seem to be a cross-section of society; they'll like many of us, ignore others, and dislike some--but since when did anyone move into a neighborhood and get along with every single person living within ten blocks?

Be sure and check out the preparations forum, hotlink under "About" on the main page. Also, under the headings on the main page are subject headings for the archives. You'll find a lot of good prep info under "Food". The forum was split only a couple of months ago; prior to that all posts, prep and otherwise, were posted here and remain in this forum's archives. Brian has a great search feature, you'll find it under "About" too.

Now, do you know that old cannibal joke where only one sensitive part (think Bobbitt) of a missionary was put into a pot, which was then filled to the brim with Coca Cola? The rest of the missionary was put into a pot filled with 7-Up. When asked about the practice, the cannibals replied, "Well, things go better with Coca-Cola." I'm sorry, it's the only cannibal joke I know.

-- Old Git (, September 25, 1999.

To formulate a fix for the fit, unfit, fed fit or fit feeders confusion I submit that the FIT be called PHIT. The phed phit could then be distinguished from the unfit while the phit pheeders would be recognised from the fed fit the phit pheeders fed on. Phit pheeders would use a fork to feed the fed fit and a phork to pheast on them.

-- Sheila (, September 25, 1999.

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