I have spent hundreds of hours researching Y2k. Here is what will happen: Food Riots Martial Law People starving to death Bank Runs Black outs and power outages Massive civil unrest/looting/rioting Disease,plague and pestilence spreading across the land 50% unemployment Cities turning into urban war zones resembling downtown Beirut or Sarjevo. Civil war between militias and the remains of federal troops/gangs. Did I leave anything out?

-- MUST READ (Must@read.com), February 13, 1999

Answers

Another pollyanna.

-- things (could@get.nasty), February 13, 1999.

Where are 50% going to find employment ?

-- Shrink (PsyDoc@texas.net), February 13, 1999.

MUST READ - You missed out planes falling from the sky, microwaves exploding, and elevators not working.

-- Yude (B@taGI.com), February 13, 1999.

My microwave could explode??? Oh My God! I just got done stocking up on Y2K food, and now have a freezer full of stuff. How am I gonna cook it without my microwave??

-- worried (2yk@ohcrap.com), February 13, 1999.

Yeah, you forgot to list shortage of two-ply toilet tissue. Can the world survive with single-ply?

-- Puddintame (dit@dot.com), February 13, 1999.

There's something really fascinating about these angry sounding polly- trolls. To illustrate the point, I don't give a fish-fin about quilting, so I don't go to any quilting forums much less post there.

I have noticed a pattern though. It's usually on a weekend. Their parents are probably out to dinner. What the hey! We used to call the grocer with that "Prince Albert in a can" bit and the grocer always humored us. Knock yourselves out, kids. You only go around once.

-- Puddintame (dit@dot.com), February 13, 1999.

Funny, I think he has some valid points. <:(=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), February 13, 1999.

As in "atop his head?"

-- Puddintame (dit@dot.com), February 13, 1999.

Nope. Not even the top of their head(s).

He/she/it/they are about as sharp as a ball of water.

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (buffgun@hotmail.com), February 13, 1999.

I think he left out the part about the aliens landing and enslaving the Y2K survivors. Or was it the dolphins invading dry land and enslaving everyone who's left?

WW

-- Wildweasel (vtmldm@epix.net), February 13, 1999.

What about the part regarding the army of Elvis clones? Wasn't mentioned at all? Can we really believe this person is an expert?

-- Faze the Nation (dazed@confused.com), February 13, 1999.

Hey wait! I just realized...WE are the experts..duh!

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), February 13, 1999.

Chinese take out: Hello -- is Mr. Wing there? no. Is Mr. Wong there? no. I think I winged the wong number........oh for the good ole days to come back again.

-- teenybopper (teenybopper@bubblegum.com), February 13, 1999.

Elvis clones!! no, not that!!

Arlin who is DWGIIIIE (don't wanna get it if it involves Elvis!)

-- Arlin H. Adams (ahadams@ix.netcom.com), February 14, 1999.

Elvis never died. He simply enlisted in the UFO fleet. On 1/1/00 he's coming back at the head of a thousand flying saucers, having finally learned that the role of a saucer is to fly and not to hold fatty foods.

-- Leo (lchampion@ozemail.com.au), February 14, 1999.

Well, now, thankyuh. Thankyuh-very-much.

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.com), February 14, 1999.

Hmm, too bad Rod Serling is gone. Potential script material,...

Mr M. Read was the loneliest man on 1120 Kay Street. He took to filling his days with mean spirited forays on the newly invented cyber network. Today he posted a millenial missive filled with dire warnings. Little did he know he was about to describe his own journey into ..... the Twilight Zone.. Doo Do dooo do..

Image MR's surprise when he meets up with the cannibal muties!

-- RD. ->H (drherr@erols.com), February 14, 1999.

Yeah, really, anything but the Elvis clones!

-- Spidey (in@jam.com), February 14, 1999.

MUST READ:

What about the GPS rollover in AUG99? If enough critical systems get affected, people would panic and crash the stock markets worldwide. This could be the summer of our discontent.

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), February 14, 1999.

Could you imagine feeding an army of Elvis clones? Hmmmm...maybe I'll have to "Milne" my foodstuffs...

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), February 14, 1999.

Hate to burst your bubble, Faze, BUUUT...I did some calculations and determined that the world does not have the capicity to feed an army of Elvis clones for an extended period of time.

Besides, I read in the Weekly World News that Elvis is now living on a remote island in the Bermuda Triangle with Maryln Monroe.

-- ------- (-------@---------.--------), February 14, 1999.

It just dawned on me, the Elvis clone army will be created by the invading aliens by converting all the dolphins into hideous Elvis clone creatures! Oh, the horror!

All those Elvis clones out there craving fried peanut butter, bannana and fish sandwiches.

It makes one wonder if Galbreath's quote on nuclear war, "The living will envy the dead." won't be the statement for the aftermath of Must Read's National Inquirer Experts' version of Y2K.

WW

WW

-- Wildweasel (vtmldm@epix.net), February 14, 1999.

-- RD. ->H (drherr@erols.com) said

"Mr M. Read was the loneliest man on 1120 Kay Street. He took to filling his days with mean spirited forays on the newly invented cyber network. Today he posted a millenial missive filled with dire warnings. Little did he know he was about to describe his own journey into ..... the Twilight Zone..Doo Do dooo do.."

Thanks, -- RD. ->H, that's entertainment!

-- Wanda (lonevoice@mailexcite.com), February 14, 1999.