(http://www.ft.com/hippocampus/q1082fe.htm)

An astute January 16 Financial Times article by Tony Jackson, "Great incentives of our time," suggests that there is a surefire way to solve all Y2K problems. His thinking stems from a January 15 report that "all Chinese airline bosses have been ordered to be in the air on New Year's Day 2000." He dubs this directive, "an inspiration to a cynical world," and goes on to say that, "In these unequal days, there could be no more splendid instance of leaders sharing risks with the rank and file."

At the stroke of midnight 2000, Jackson envisions bank chiefs sealed in computer-operated vaults, set to open as the clock chimes, and with all their personal wealth contained in a check to be negotiated at their own bank at midnight; elevator-makers stationed in the tallest buildings; and railroad heads sent to remote areas, such as the wilds of Nebraska and the Scottish Highlands (!). But Jackson's funniest thought is that, "Electricity chiefs, meanwhile, should have their houses searched for matches, candles or Primus stoves, and any offenders obliged to write out their customers' bills by hand."

I'd like to see the director of the city water department sitting, bound, at the open end of a pipe where the first sewage problem will appear.

Any other suggestions?

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), January 25, 1999

Answers

It should be mandatory that Ms. Garvey and Mr. Koskinen are airborne on the evening of Dec. 31.

-- Vic (68rdrunneris@compliant.com), January 25, 1999.

In an effort to make sure Y2K remediations go as planned:

1.) Heads of the Defense Departments ought to be fastened to the tips of nuclear/conventional missles at the stoke of midnight 1/1/00.

2.) Executives from Nucelar power plants ought to be forced to stand next to reactor cores at the stroke of midnight 1/1/00.

3.) Landlords must be present inside elevators of their buildings on the stroke of midnight 1/1/00.

4.) The entire crew of "LewinskyGate" must be shot at close range five minutes prior to the stroke of midnight 1/1/00. This will provide much needed comic relief "should" disruptions occur and people are thrown into chaos.

5.) John Koskinen and other PR guys from major corporations must be drowned at sea five minutes after the stroke of midnight on 1/1/00 if all their optimistic semantics turn out to be BullSh*t. That ought to keep them honest anyway! :O)

-- (anon@aa.com), January 25, 1999.

Airborne, schmairborne, Garvey should be required to CHECK HER BAGGAGE!

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), January 25, 1999.

How about giving certain journalists assignments in certain inner city locations to cover 'activity' ?

Deborah

-- Deborah (truth@home.com), January 25, 1999.