Haiku Error Messages

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1 and DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry."

The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:

A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that.

Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.

The Web site you seek cannot be located but countless more exist

Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

ABORTED effort: Close all that you have worked on. You ask way too much.

First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully.

With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found.

Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped.

Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank

The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down

A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.

Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.

Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will.

-- a (a@a.a), January 22, 1999

Answers

a & PNG,

Love it! Apple, take note.

Used to work for a company partly owned by Sony and met "Mr. Sony." He's a twinkle eyed, bright and wonderfully curious person. The rest of them? That's another story.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), January 22, 1999.

I needed a really good smile today. Thanks!

-- Kevin (mixesmusic@worldnet.att.net), January 23, 1999.

You are good. A laugh begins my day. I think I'm turning Japanese.

-- (jor-el@krypton.com), January 23, 1999.

>>>Haiku Error Messages ..Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available ...

these actually first appeared as a contest in Salon and Wired

-- Jay Kusnetz (jayrtfm@hotmail.com), January 23, 1999.

Computers are dumb. Tech people are very smart. Why are we all here?

-- Puddintame (dit@dot.com), January 23, 1999.

Because computers are dumber than people, but smarter than programmers.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), January 23, 1999.