It's a party, I've had a couple of drinks and we're talking about the future. The age my friends are -you know, it's college. It's how hard it is to get a job (any fool can get a job, IMO. It's getting a GOOD job that matters, one that furthers your career and pays well.)

Anyway, I raise my glass and point out that there probably won't be a future for ninety percent of them. That they could all be dead, eighteen months from now.

Other things to avoid:

"I think Infomagic would make a very good Prime Minister", and then proceeding into an involved explanation of Ivan Mingham's theories about carrying capacity and his mathematical proof that we are doomed.

Discussing what a bigmouthed jerk Paul Milne is, with a friend who is barely aware of what y2k is.

--Leo

-- Leo (lchampion@ozemail.com.au), January 08, 1999

Answers

Like you even get invited to parties dumb ass. Even the thieves and criminals who populate that uninhabitable island you live on know enough to avoid you like the plague.

Have a Nice Day

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@excite.com), January 08, 1999.

More:

Acquaintance: "So, what do you think of this y2k thing??

Me: "I'm terrified."

Acquaintance: (Shocked stare, changes subject)

* * *

Supervisor: "This @#$%^& printout is all @#$%^&ed up."

Me: "Imagine the joy after y2k."

Supervisor: "What's y2k?"

Me: (Shocked stare, unable to speak)

* * *

Me to brother-in-law: "So, whatdya think about y2k?"

B-in-L: "There's no such @#$%^&ing thing!"

Me: (Total disbelief, stunned silence, which B-in-L takes as agreement

* * *

Me giving presentation to group of RNs: "Nationally, we generate 27 million pages of medical records PER DAY...."

Nurse: "So, without accurate computers, we couldn't even keep our records straight?"

Group: (stunned silence)

* * *

Anita E.

-- Anita Evangelista (ale@townsqr.com), January 08, 1999.

Client: "What's our prognosis with regard to Y2K?"

Me: "Retire now and find a nice, remote, desolate place to live. Perhaps in an Amish community or similar."

Client: (Silent, generally with a look of shock.)

OddOne, who is a programmer and consultant among other things, and avoids Y2K issues where at all possible...

-- OddOne (mocklamer@geocities.com), January 08, 1999.

"What about Y2K?"

"I live in America, I don't have to worry about that SH*T!"

Silence.....

-- Bill (bill@microsoft.com), January 08, 1999.

me: so what did you think about the y2k material

person in leadership postion in the community: you don't need to send me any more of that - I've decided to keep my head buried in the sand until next fall and then, oh about November or so I'll buy some rice...and then just pray that takes care of it.

me: so you don't want to hear anything at all?

pilpitc: not unless you can give me something that wont make me panic...

me: if you would begin to prepare even a little bit, you wouldn't have to panic.

pilpitc: (walks away)

ARGH!

Arlin

-- Arlin H. Adams (ahadams@ix.netcom.com), January 09, 1999.

"there could be some problems that'll take a long time to fix"

"No, they'll fix everything in a few days. Otherwise they'd lose money."

-- (y2kbiker@bellatlantic.net), January 09, 1999.

Don't Miss It! Coming Soon, to a Y2k Thread Near You!

-- Nathan (nospam@all.com), January 09, 1999.

At company lunch:

CEO: any questions? yes?

Me: what steps are we taking to avoid Y2k problems due to interruptions here?

CEO: Ron?

CFO: (big smirk) All the software in our product is Y2K compliant.

Me: but what about inventory shortages? What do we do then?

CEO: Ron?

CFO: I've gotten certificates of compliance from all of our software vendors: ABC, DEF, GHI, and XYZ. (smirk) We're completely covered.

CEO: did that answer your question?

Me: No. I mean, other companies such as our suppliers may have problems, and with our JIT style assembly, tight budgets and schedules, we'll slip our deliveries and/or be unable to accept orders.

CEO: Uh... we'll take steps to ensure that won't happen in the future when the time comes.

...

later, to CEO only

Me: there will probably be transportation power and other infrastructure problems. These problems may happen all through 1999, not just on New Year's Day 2000. And company GHI is rumored to be particularly vulnerable to Y2K. Would it not be prudent to stock up now on critical parts and supplies?

CEO: Well, you know, they say that the worst problems will be caused by hoarding.

Me: Did you see Forrest Gump? The guy turns a disaster into a business opportunity...

CEO: point taken (face frozen). Walks away...

CEO:

-- No Problem (noproblm@all.org), January 09, 1999.

Boss: All vacations and time-off have been cancelled between Dec 99 to March 99. A team of computer developers and operations staff will be on-site overnight Dec 31,99 to monitor and fix any potential problems as they occur.

Me: Anything you say, me and the rest of the computer team are going to bug-out by then and leave the Bank high-and-dry. We've been putting in lots of overtime playing games so that we have enough money for supplies.

-- Oz (daveo@home.com), January 09, 1999.

y2kbiker hit the nail on the head. Most people I talk to say big business is not going to be stupid enough not to get this done. They're in the business to make money. They can't afford not to get done. Sigh.

-- margie mason (mar3mike@aol.com), January 09, 1999.

Judging by people's reactions to y2k I have decided that there must be some kind of magical tranquilizing effect to the words, "They'll fix it. They'll fix it. They'll fix it. They have to fix it. So they'll fix it. They'll fix it. They'll fix it. They'll...."

Oh yeah, it's working. I feel better already. Everything's starting to get kinda fuzzy... I wonder what's on TV....

-- not2worry (not@aol.com), January 09, 1999.

It really tests my patience when my family and friends downplay Y2k to me. They have not read or researched the subject. Yet they all have opinions that range from "Bill Gates will fix it" to "All you have to do is set the date back so it doesn't roll over to 2000" !!!!!! I just advise them to read and research everything they can get their hands on. I thought it would be pretty convincing when FEMA along with the Red Cross came out with Y2k preparation lists. When I brought that point up to DWGI, his response was, "It's just a feelgood move on their part"!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!!

-- shivermetimbers (zerodegrees@Oh.com), January 09, 1999.