How Shift Happens : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

(From a friend who works at a Fortune 500 Company, slightly modified for the forum)

In the beginning there was an idea, and then came assumptions, and the assumptions were without form, the idea without substance, and darkness came over the workers, who spoke among themselves, saying "It is a crock of sh*t, and it stinks!"

The workers went to their Supervisors and said "It is an idea of dung, and none can abide its odor."

And the Supervisors went to the Managers saying "It is a container of excrement and very strong, such that none can abide by it."

And the Managers went to the Directors saying "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength".

The Directors spoke among themselves saying "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong".

And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents saying "It promotes growth, and is very powerful".

And the Vice Presidents went to the President saying "this new idea will actively promote growth of our company, with powerful effects".

And the President looked on the idea and thought it good, and the idea became Policy.

This is how Shift Happens.

-- Rob Michaels (, December 23, 1998


Chuckles, Rob.

What goes up, must come down. Especially if they don't listen well.


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 23, 1998.

I loved this 5 years ago when it came across my desk at the shelter....

Let's have MORE bureaucracy, shall we? LL

-- Donna Barthuley (, December 23, 1998.


well, okay, but we'll have to form a committee to report on possible means of implementing your suggested policy change...:-)


-- Arlin H. Adams (, December 23, 1998.

Committee: a word with double 'm's, double 't's and double 'e's... how appropriate. Wanna form two instead of just one?

-- Rob Michaels (, December 24, 1998.

The heaviest element known to science was discovered this week by physicists at the TimeBomb 2000 Forum research center. The element, tentatively called administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons, and 11 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 212. These 212 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Having no electrons, it is inert, but can be detected chemically since it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. A minute amount of administratium casued A reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than one second.Administratium has a half-life of about 4 years, at which time it does actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assitant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice netrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that atomic weight usually increases after each reorganization. It is toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate.

-- Rob Michaels (, December 24, 1998.

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