Collateral ( familial ) Y2K-damage ...greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
# # # 19981221 -- Enjoy the Winter Solstice!
The "Y2K" conflagration has truly begun--at a personal level, anyway--for me. This is a bit tough to swallow, but I/we will get over/past this "collateral," familial damage.
[ A little backgrounder: I am the eldest of a whole bunch of ( "real" ) siblings and ( not-so-close ) ( "unreal" ) stepsiblings. For this sibling, I had backed off awareness efforts of all but the most flagrant and/or unconscionable Y2K-related items ( i.e., DoD Falsifying Y2K Data, 11/27/1998, USA Today, ).
What would _you do! ...
E-mail Sent: Mon 12/21/1998 07:22
Also, I am asking that you just not send me anything. If there is family news than I can get it by way of one of the other e-mailers in our family that send me this kind of information only. You see it maybe "tough love" by your standards but to me it is, a simple request that you not send me Y2K stuff. Now however, I see it as you pushing your views on me, whether I want to hear them or not.
I have now doubt that I will fair well in the year 2000, and chose to obtain information in my own way. Delete me from your list of addresses please.
Thank you for respecting my request. Hope all are feeling better there.
I'm going to take a short--contemplative--time-out ... Please, excuse me?! ...
Regards, Bob Mangus # # #
-- Robert Mangus (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 21, 1998
Robert: I too received similar emails. Actually I received *two* of them, from two different family members (in-laws). *Very* similar! Almost identical in fact. Weird.
They don't want to hear it. They just don't. Another family member told both my husband and me at T-Givings that she doesn't want to hear it either; "If I am gonna die, then I am gonna die. I am too old for this junk. I don't wanna hear it!"
I know how you feel. It upset me greatly...at first. Now I just figure well, I did what I could. That is all you can do. Just love that family member and *bite your tongue/keyboard*. :-) It's what I had to do.
-- Bobbi (email@example.com), December 21, 1998.
I'm sorry you're having that problem. The one encouraging thing I can say is, this same relative will consider you a genius in seven months--and maybe in as little as two weeks. This relative, because of your efforts, will "get it" before the average John and Jane Q. Public do. You've done all that's required of you.
Good luck. Enjoy the holidays.
-- Kevin (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 21, 1998.
Prayers to you!!
You have done all that you can, so you should now consign the individual to the "paid" stack, do your greiving (and don't try to tell me you won't greive, at least a little) and go get some additional rice, wheat, etc. This will help you, and help prep you for the day when (s)he asks for your help.
-- Chuck a night driver (email@example.com), December 21, 1998.
Respect their request and forgetaboutit. With 375 days left, you still have plenty to do. The sheep will follow their shepard (Clinton) right over the edge of the cliff. Stand on top of a nearby hill and watch.
-- Bill (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 21, 1998.
Fully 50% of the people I'm preparing for are DHavetoGIs. Saves me emotional stress just to prepare for them, anyway.... your DWGIs will change their mind very soon............keep up slow, steady pressure. Good Luck.
-- Lisa (email@example.com), December 21, 1998.
Bob, yikes! been there, had that happen. just gotta keep praying and let God draw their attention to it through other family members and circumstances...once it reaches that level there's nothing that your continued direct contact with that person will accomplish other than to harden their resolve....
-- Arlin H. Adams (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 21, 1998.
My family recently celebrated Christmas together. Upon my arrival, I was told that Y2k and Bill Clinton was not to be mentioned. I am not a pushy person about this issue. I have sent several articles to my email family and have told them to delete if they did not want to read. Other then that, I figure they will learn soon enough on their own.
Unfortunately, they proceeded to make jokes about my beleifs concerning Y2k. While I did not get upset, the rest of my immediate family that are beleivers, did.
All beleivers will probably encounter some of this in the holiday season, so be prepared to grin and bear it.
-- Linda A. (email@example.com), December 21, 1998.
It always amazes me when people won't prepare! Even if they don't believe or want to hear about potential disaster, still, any thinking person should realize it's only prudent to prepare -- *then* they can put their head back in the sand.
Same thing with preparing for earthquakes. No matter how much scientific evidence they're presented with, plus experiencing a moderate earthquake, some people refuse to prepare, research, learn, or discuss getting ready for future earthquakes!
Same thing with death. We've had patients on hospice who have been told they're dying, can see it for themselves, who refuse to fill out Advance Directives or talk to their family about it or make out a will. One man told me: "If I get ready for it, then it will certainly happen to me." He felt his actions preparing would invite the death.
Maybe this sort of fear/superstition is part of the DWGIs?
xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxx
-- Leska (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 21, 1998.
I'm sorry, Robert. I know what it feels like - not with family but with really close friends. I've tried to leave it where it would be comfortable for them to come back to me if/when they "get it" (specifically avoiding any hint of "just don't come running to me when.....").
Certainly, time will be short to help them -- but with your preparations you will be in a position to greatly compress their learning curve. I wish you all the best.
-- Dave (email@example.com), December 21, 1998.
Bob, Remember, you are the eldest (so am I- of 8). And eldest get perceived as the heavyweights, suspected of trying to help raise everyone, whether they do or not. It took quite a while and a couple o frustrated blow-ups with siblings once we were all adults before myyounger siblings stopped perceiving every opinion or feeling I expressed as advice or an "I know better" comment. Even if it was in your brother's best interest, and even if you did your best to tread softly, he obviously feels pushed. This does not necessarily have anything to do with you and is undoubtedly not what you intended. You might send an apology- not for what you did, but for how you have apparently made him feel. Make sure he knows it was not intentional, it's because you care so much and that you will lay off the e-mail because your relationship is important to you. If you aren't sure he'll read it e-mail, try snail mail-- and then leave him alone. It hurts-- so wait until you can get past the hurt (and frustration/anger) to write since it will show through. Good luck. It ain't easy being the eldest. Remember- Even Jesus' family came to get him because they thought he had gone mad and the people of his home town tried to stone him.
-- Mari(a) (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 21, 1998.
My family just celebrated Christmas at my home last evening. I am the youngest in the family. I told my wife that this could be our last happy Christmas for many years and that we would try to make it a good one for all. I have been the alarmest to the family on y2k for quite sometime. It seems all but one brother is getting it. There was as little talk as possible on the subject last evening as I did not want to bring it into this last good celebration of Christmas. It was the best Christmas in years. Seems everyone had the same mind set that it could be the last. It was alot of fun. Everyone will be coming to my property when the shtf. I built a lake, greenhouse, root cellar and 16X24 chicken and rabbitt housing over the last two months. I have installed a Independance 480 PV system to run the house with a 7kw back-up generator. I finished 2000 square feet of my 6000 square foot pole building to house my family. Theres also 50 cord of wood, 550 gallons of gas, 500 gallons of fuel oil and 225 gallons of kerosene for heating. All of this preparation has convinced the family that either I'm insane or I might just be right about this thing. I choose to look at it as insurance against chaos. Well everyone in my family is stockpiling food as I have asked them to do except that oldest so tight that he squeaks brother of mine. I called him today and told him that I had spent over $30,000.00 to prepare a place for everyone in the family to come to, but I would not allow him on the property if he did not show up with a 12 gage shotgun with 200 rounds of ammo and enough food staples to feed his family for three months. His wife asked if we would have separate storage areas for our own food. It blew me away...I responded that we would all be in this together and it would not matter what was there that we would all be using each other to get through the winter. I don't know if he will be here or not. I kind of feel bad that I told him to bring food or don't come. Mike
-- flierdude (email@example.com), December 21, 1998.
Hard choices, Mike, but you did the right thing...we will all find ourselves taking care of those who through no fault of their own simply *could* not prepare...but there is nothing wrong with requiring minimal preparations from those who *can* afford to prepare, as the baseline price of admission.
-- Arlin H. Adams (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 21, 1998.
We don't get to choose our family group. Families come with lots of power stuff just below the surface that never really gets dealt with properly. Just because people are related doesn't give them any necessary kindred spirit or kindness of spirit.
That all said: you have my sympathy. You have done what you thought was best. You have upheld your sense of personal integrity. You can't do any more. It is very sad but then most of the folks here will have had similar experiences in the past or can expect similar rejection in the future.
Moreover , it has been my sad experience that the most successful people, in a conventional sense, are least able to review their situation and think outside the box. Y2K requires thinking outside the box. If it did not there would be more folks posting here and fewer out there ignoring what is going on around them.
I found having a break worthwhile for self renewal.
-- Bob Barbour (email@example.com), December 21, 1998.
Totally apropriate attitude. Your sister-in-law WILL put the kibosh on it until it's a bit too late and you MAY have to enforce your decision. I would do the same for him as any drifter family - -> one meal, a place to sleep for a night, breakfast, minimal trail ration and a farewell, at 0900!
Expect HER to be the major problem!! c
-- Chuck a night driver (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 22, 1998.
As it heats up, they'll get it. For some it's a longer process. Patience. They'll think you're positively psychic late spring.
It's also a good idea to let them have a "breather" as well as take one for yourself. My little 'ole mother is now in collapse mode because she "gets it," feels overwhelmed, and her little old lady friends don't want to hear it. Something powerful about lack of peer support. Eventually they won't be able to avoid it.
-- Diane J. Squire (email@example.com), December 22, 1998.
Been there done that. Started with my wife and extended to our immediate families over the last year. Some awful scenes. Left them alone and started preparing. Nickle finally dropped for some of them when I told them that I purchased the retreat. Now they phone and say, hey I saw something on y2k that you were saying 6 months ago. My advice is this, if you worry about saving everyone, you will get into a depressive state because your words go unheeded, but your deeds may not. Quietly execute your plan. They will get there, eventually one hopes.
-- Rick Reilly (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 23, 1998.