I live in a lake community. We have a club made up of residents who take care of the lakes and vollyball courts etc. We have a very nice clubhouse where we have parties and fund raisers. Many of our other activities are fishing contests and paddle boat races and patriotic parades through the community. It's a wonderful life.

At our last monthly club meeting I broached the subject of Y2K. I gave an overview of the problem and explained that since we're a pretty tight community maybe we should take some precautions as a community to help each other out in case of extended power outages or a temporary breakdown in the transportation system.

Everyone was very enthusiastic and our president has appointed a committee to look into what can be done and to make proposals.

I am chairman of the morale committee. I will organize get togethers. Games for the kids, Ice skating lessons (I'm in New Jersey) maybe an ice fishing tournament; That type of thing.

A proposal was brought to me that I need some help on. If we're into March and the power hasn't been turned on and we're gettin a little edgey, how about this for an ice breaker.

PET DAY April 1, 2000

We'll probably be out of real food and subsisting on rice and beans by that time. Wouldn't it be a treat to have some good ole stick to your ribs meat.

Here's the proposal. Each child in the community would bring the family pet to the clubhouse for a beauty contest. Brushed real pretty, ribbons in the hair etc. We'll have different categories just like a real pet show. Prizes would be games and stuff and of course everybody wins. If you don't win a prize I was thinking a nice piece of beef jerky or a scrabble tile for a consolation prize. Your Choice!!

Now after the contest, and I'll admit this is a bit dicey, we send the kids home and tell them the pets will be staying for a big peoples prayer service. I've lined up my neighbor Uncle John the Butcher to handle the actual slicing and diceing. John assures me it is quick and painles. Should take about 3:16 for the lot of them.

The next day we have a big ole barbycue with all the trimmins. Sorry kids we had to trade Fluffy and Snuggles, Boomer and Muffin for these great steaks and burgers. They went to live on a farm where they will have more room. You parents out there know the drill.

If Pet Day is a success I'm sure I'll be selected to organize PEOPLE DAY around the beginning of September. Any Suggestions? Should People day come before or after Kid Day?

Does anyone know where I can get a hot dog maker.

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@worldnet.att.net), December 16, 1998

Answers

Say what?

-- Kevin (mixesmusic@worldnet.att.net), December 16, 1998.

You really need to find something worthwhile to occupy your time, Jimmy. Preferably someplace else.

-- Vic Parker (rdrunner@internetwork.net), December 16, 1998.

ROFL!! Oh boy Jimmy, now ya done it!! ROFLMAO!!

I never knew you could write more than 3 sentences together and make sense, that was beautiful writing!

So then Jimmy, I think I see what you're problem is. I'd say you're in the 16 to 25 group range. You're from NooJoysey, so that explains the rudeness, but the cozy community you live in explains your oblivion to the world around you, and especially for people with concerns for it.

But there's something deeper. Much deeper. Something you yourself are not aware of. Fear. An animal, instinctive fear. You keep coming back here instead of loging on to a Starcraft game or a MUD somewhere because that instinct tells you "what if they're right?" Fear is good. Don't fear it, listen to it.

You must have taken your Ritalin this morning, I'm really impressed by your writing.

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), December 16, 1998.

How creative! "To imagine is everything" - Einstein Pass the bar-b-q sauce, please.

-- Randy (flembob@usa.net), December 16, 1998.

I havn't taken my ritalin in over a week, so I'll just substitute five cups of coffee with six spoons of sugar. What I hear is a great sense of humor directed at our animal friends. Baggadonuts, doesn't take this seriously-I hope. You have to wonder though, about these eastern establishment types from elite country club gated communties. They might just listen to Bagga Dounuts, like they listen to the crap reported in the papers.

Jimmy's just a reflection of our aggressive nature, our ability to act insensitive, inhumane, and violent. Jimmy is like the Irish Mob, the Westies back in the seventies, feared by even the Italians. Instead of slicing up animals, they murdered, sliced, and diced perspective targets, and sent one part at a time down the Hudson River, to be completely unidentifiable by law enforcement. Finally NYPD found a human head floating down the river, somehow tracked the dental records in a minute chip of tooth, in a jaw that was smashed up, and sent away these criminals for the rest of their lives.

We humans are called a type 0 species out of four. A three species is thousands of years more technologically, and intellectually advanced. Homo-sapiens though are the lowest lifeform in the surrounding universe, and the most likely to destroyed by its own species. Does this surprise anyone?

Jimmy seems to have no idea how all species are interconnected to a delicate and fragile eco-system. How many rivets can you pierce before 747 crashes into oblivion. Bagga Dounuts, it wouldn't take long under a Y2k crisis to annhilate all of our animal friends as we act in fear of starvation. What are YOU going to do then? I would suggest planting a garden like you've suggested.

At the end of 1998 we have 50,000 animals poisoned every year in all fifty states by humans who can't seem to understand the simple problem. It's the nature of our type 0 category.

"In the forest you got species killin' species, our species killin' all species, but we just call it industry." -Woody Harrelson, Natural Born Killers

Stop and think the next time you buy a fur coat, but *think hard,* is it worth the vanity to support the mutilation, and exploitation of millions of animals souls to satisfy the hunger of the greed machine.

If you answered yes, then please do yourself a favor, and find a good home for your animal companions. They are not living in a healthy environment.

Finally, think of how our animals love and protect us. They help the physically, and visually impaired, where people put their lives in trust of animals. Law enforcement depends on various breeds of dogs to sniff out dangerous narcotics, sweep dangerous situations, and search for the dead, and dying in catastrophic acts of God, (Floods, hurricanes, earthquakes,) or catastrophic acts by humanity (OKC Bombing, World Trade Center, Atlanta)

Peace

-MC

-- MC Davey (Apus1son@aol.com), December 16, 1998.

Soylent Green anyone? Chinese resturants have been using cats for years, why not a little cat on rice?

-- Bill (bill@microsoft.com), December 16, 1998.

Anyone know what the hell he's talking about? Chris, No need to apply for a job at the Physcic Hotline. I'm sure you have other talents.

Congradulations to the rest of you on your keyboard restraint.

Stay tuned I can top this one

Have a nice day

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@worldnet.att.net), December 16, 1998.

Jimmy...one word comes to mind! "SICK!"

-- Blondie Marie (Blondie@future.net), December 17, 1998.

You can only do this under the anonymity of the internet.

I challenge you to contribute something useful to the y2k debate. I suspect however that you haven't got the requisite IQ, experience or anything worthwhile.

Prove me wrong.

-- Richard Dale (rdale@figroup.co.uk), December 17, 1998.

Makes me happier than ever to be a vegetarian. Dandelions are good, so is sheep sorrel and lamb's quarter, add some stocked up butter buds and Fido can live happily ever after. gilda

-- gilda jessie (jess@listbot.com), December 17, 1998.

rdale you're gettin on my nerves. I've read some of your other posts and you are definatly ripe for the pickin. I've got you in my sites and unless Fuhrer Ed figures out how to block my access WORRY.

Gilda what's a nice person doing in a dung heap like this. I'll protect you.

Have a nice day

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@worldnet.att.net), December 17, 1998.

Jimmy, stare at this

X

for thirty minutes. I'm going to beam some Christmas Spirit into your skull from here and you can't have any synapses firing otherwise I won't get a good channel. You are a funny guy and you need to come to our side--- whatever side that is--- but you could be a contributor here. Look at how easily you distract us with the crazy stuff, give us some good stuff. You have it in you. First, explain the doughnuts.

-- Lisa (what's@up.you), December 17, 1998.

JImmy Bagga D,...I'm a vegan and I found your post to be in good taste, and it was very funny, and quite sweet, and pertinant, and a plausible-ish scenario, and a good idea. I'm kinda dumbfounded that it received any negativity. Richard Dale is insisting that you "contribute something worthwhile to the y2k debate", well I think you have -i.e. quality light relief. Some threads are tech specs, some are religious goofyness, some are NWO spook-outs, some are trollying, some are historical, some are reporting, some are pointless, some are funny, some are personal chit-chat. All welcome.

-- humpty dumpty (no.6@thevillage.com), December 17, 1998.

Humpty, you may want to read my take on EY before joining the team.

Thanks to those of you with open minds.

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@worldnet.att.net), December 17, 1998.

Jimmy, f*** off.

-- Leo (leo_champion@hotmail.com), December 18, 1998.

Leo, you really know how to hurt, you know about my sexual history (zero). What do you think I do for relief, AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH thats better

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@worldnet.att.net), December 18, 1998.

Jimmy, I do not know or care about your sex life. I have little interest in homosexuality, even less in bestiality.

-- Leo (leo_champion@hotmail.com), December 18, 1998.

........... the y2k debate", well I think you have -i.e. quality light relief.

Yeah this is REAL quality, feel it, I feel like a second coming.

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@worldnet.att.net), December 18, 1998.

Oh well, I tried befriending a snert, but alas, it didn't work.

-- humptydumpty (no.6@thevillage.com), December 18, 1998.