I missed the November 4, 1998 class due to professional obligations.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1998

Answers

I was absent on Wednesday, November 4, due to professional obligations at school. I read through the facilitators notes, watched the video of Kelly Ravenfeather, and read the handout. It was interesting to revisit this topic. I am a child of an alcoholic. I remember going through some pretty tough times as a teenager trying to deal with my fathers drinking. I joined alateen and read many books to try to make some sense of what was happening in my family. I remember reading a book that outlined the same roles as Kelly outlined in her presentation. It was scary how each of my siblings and I fell into each of those roles. I wish I could remember the name of the book. I cried through most of it, because it was the first time I had realized that someone out there really knew what I was going through. It was as if I was reading my own life story. I would like to take this information back to my classrooms, but I am unsure of how to go about it. I would be more than willing to share my own experiences with my students in hopes that if there are children of alcoholics out there, they may feel more comfortable talking to me. Kelly gave us a handout that gave a few ideas for what we could do with our students. One that I could work on is becoming a better listener. I sometimes get so wrapped up in my lesson and making sure the students are understanding the material that I lose sight of other issues that they might be dealing with. I try to model how I handle my feelings. If I become angry, Iidentify what it is hat makes me angry and what I would like to have changed. Students can be cruel to one another, and I believe some of that inconsideration is learned at home. I try to discuss it immediately if a student makes an inappropriate comment that is hurtful to another student. They tend to internalize it more if they receive immediate feedback. Many of the students are in abusive environments at home, and they do not know when they are being offensive. They have learned this behavior to be normal. I simply ask them to tell me what was inappropriate. They can usually tell me why they were wrong in saying whatever it was that was inappropriate, and they can tell me what would have been a better way to handle the situation. Kelly also mentioned the various characteristics of the various roles, and I can see some of those in my students. Again, I am uncertain as to how to approach them. I would love to sit and talk with some of them and find out what is really going on in their lives. I want them to know that they are not alone and that there are others out there with similar problems. I think that the ideas that Nicole listed on the facilitators page are helpful. I simply need to open up to my students more and hope they will trust me. I know that kids are thrilled when teachers tell stories about themselves. It is almost as if teachers are not human. The best gossip for a teenager is that of a teacher. As much as we try to help students in the classroom, unfortunately they still have to go back home to the same environment. Perhaps we can give a bit of ourselves, and show the students how we got through the problems we have faced. I will be sure to have this information on hand for students to see for themselves, and will share stories with them from my books. Perhaps it will at least get them to think about what is happening and why. Teenagers have enough turmoil in their lives without an abusive homelife. If we, as educators, can make their day a bit easier, then they may be more successful in our classrooms.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1998