How to deal with anger at the DWGIsgreenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
I've reached the point in my own preparations where I can at last take few deep breathes and know that I and my family are prepared for minor to semi-moderate disruptions. I'm not afraid of food shortages because I've got food. We've got 3 alternate sources of heat We've got water enough for drinking. We're addressing basic security concerns. We've discussed alternatives for several different contingencies and will be practicing our first 'dry runs' in January.
The problem I am having is that over the past several months, the goal posts have moved. The recent news about Denver seriously adopting a 'fix on failure' policy really knock my optimism down a notch or two. The FDIC "Know Your Customer" crap, which I ignored when I first read it because it just seemed too darn unbelieveable, borders on insanity. Infomagic doesn't help - I've been trying to push everyone I know away from that future, but with each passing day we (collectively) seem to be moving dangerously closer to that nightmare.
But the real burr in my saddle right now is the Don't Wanna Get Its (DWGIs). I've now spoken to a great many otherwise intelligent people who are 'aware' of the problem but just don't want to hear about it. They will not read, they will not tune in, they will not even bother to acknowledge.
Yet it is they who will react most poorly should disruptions occur. They will be angry and the will not be prepared to deal with what, at it's essence, is a most survivable problem. They have ears and brains but they willing choose not to listen or think.
There are also the CGIs (Can't Get Its) who, for one reason or another, are not capable of understanding nor dealing with matters at hand. I am genuinely saddened by what they people may endure.
But lately I've become much less sympathetic with those who are eq
-- Arnie Rimmer (Arnie_Rimmer@usa.net), December 15, 1998
(sorry, continued on this post...)
But I find myself becomming less and less sympathetic with those individuals and organizations who are fully equipped to both understand and deal with Y2K in a prudent fashion.
I got into a small disagreement the other night with such DWGI. This person has been pretty much penniless his entire life and now, miracle of miracles, for the first time in his life has a small but important bit of cash. He's gonna spend it on a new mini-van. I ended up saying to this person "Look, I understand that you've consciously decided to ignore Y2K and I'll respect your decision, but there's 4 things I never want to hear you say: (1) don't say you weren't warned, (2) don't say 'no one could have known it might be this bad, and (3) don't say 'I didn't even have an opportunity to prepare' and (4) don't even THINK about blaming those of us who did prepare for any troubles you may experience.
This is pretty bold stuff for me - I'm generally a live and let live kind a person. But it's becoming clear that those people and organizations who are 'aware' but who willingly choose to ignore the clues and squander what little time and resources they DO have are a major contributor to the overall size of the problem.
So, do you think I'm being unreasonable? How have others of you handled this?
-- Arnie Rimmer (Arnie_Rimmer@usa.net), December 15, 1998.
I know it's hard to be patient, but I suspect it's going to take a "major" wake-up call, to motivate the DGI's into WKM's Wanna Know Mores. I hope January provides that alarm bell. Meanwhile, we are all Y2K gardeners, sowing the ground, getting ready for the spring planting. Harvest time won't come until next Fall. *Sigh* Thats when we'll know how well we did, and if the garden is big enough.
-- Diane J. Squire (email@example.com), December 15, 1998.
And whether or not some thistle fell in with the wheat.
-- Chuck a night driver (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 15, 1998.
Arnie, I know exactly how you feel. My own mother and siblings will not listen to my warnings that they should be preparing. They live about 6 hrs. so there is no way for me to ever be able to help them and I do not have the financial ability to prepare for 20 more people "just in case" they can come to me. I just want to scream! My husband is trying to get our church involved in preparing and not having much luck. We are not brow-beaters and are shocked at the lack of interest people show towards us. Such denial. Then I start doubting myself. Maybe I am the fool (wouldn't be the first time) and 'aint' nothin' gonna happen - my mind just can't believe that scenerio so I keep preparing full steam ahead and 'if' I don't need it great, I can donate to the rescue mission. Got enough toilet paper to wipe a lot of butts! Maybe we all need to get as bold and loud as Gary North!? I'll keep trying to reach them but I think early next year people will start getting it and for many items it will be to late. Would it be wrong to say, "I TOLD YOU SO?" Have a good day. Mary
-- Mary Howe (email@example.com), December 15, 1998.
Don't get yourself sick over this Arnie. Anger will eat at you and make you lose your healthy perspective you have for yourself and your family.
Just admit it to yourself that you're a survivalist. Or survivor. Whatever you feel more comfortable with. Then think and act like one. You and your family will survive, and it's inevitable that many won't. Try to help those you CAN help and WANT to be helped. Don't squander your precious small amount of optimism you have left on those that don't want/can't be helped. If you do, you'll be rendered useless; demoralized, depressed and unable to function.
-- Chris (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 15, 1998.
Arnie: When are you people GTGI (going to get it)? You have to reach a point where you wipe the dust off your hands and let people meet their own demise. When you tell people your plans it will make you more vulnerable and guilt ridden when they show up at your door and you have to tell them to get lost. I don't want to go through that emotional trip and stress. Getting prepared and staying prepared is hard enough. I don't waste my time with anyone who thinks I am an alarmist.
-- Bardou (Bardou@baloney.com), December 15, 1998.
Arnie and All:
I recently watched a 93 year old lady die from congestive heart failure in the hospital (I'm RN)...other than make her comfortable, here wasn't too much we could do. Her family, who had had the nature of her condition fully explained to them, insisted that she "could get better", kept telling her to "hold on", wanted extreme taken (such as CPR, which ended up breaking her ribs and NOT prolonging her life) --- and, Arnie, the lady was 93, stick-thin, and wheezing loudly enough that patients in adjoining rooms could hear her through the walls. It was pretty obvious that she was going to die..... but the family couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe what was right in front of their eyes, happening right now!
If people can't "see" what is right in front of them, can't "believe" the obvious, we surely can't expect them to fully "get" something as amorphous as y2k.......
After this incident, I stopped trying to convince anybody about y2k. Just a word here or there, a selected magazine article (Newsweek's recent one is handy) left lying where someone could read it if they wanted -- and the preps continue.
We may love 'em all, but we can't save 'em all.
-- Anita Evangelista (email@example.com), December 15, 1998.
>So, do you think I'm being unreasonable? How have others of you handled this?
Not at all Arnie. My husband and I have arrived at the same place. We just don't have the *time* to waste trying to convince people with whom we have talked until we are blue in the face.
Not unreasonable at all. Work with the ones who at least are willing to listen and learn. Let the others fall by the wayside. Sad but reality.
Bobbi Check out the newly revamped Y2k information site! http://www.buzzbyte.com/
-- Bobbi (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 15, 1998.
All of your posts and personal examples (of which I have quite a few of my own), clearly illustrate without a doubt, that when the bough breaks, an instant giant and painful crashing will be heard.
There will have never been one like it before, and perhaps never again.
-- INVAR (email@example.com), December 15, 1998.
Doug Carmichael made a good point in a recent newsletter. He spoke of his anguish as a ten year old watching his parent's marriage come apart, of trying -- and failing -- to keep that from happening. He said he finally realized that "the problem was not mine to fix."
Believe it. None so blind as those who will not see. No point in getting angry about it -- that limits you and does nothing for anyone else.
-- Tom Carey (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 15, 1998.
They've read the papers, they know thousands of people are preparing, and they're laughing along. They've seen Sixty Minutes, or Vanity Fair, or other serious treatments of the problem - or they will in the next few months. No one can say they weren't warned. They can only blame themselves.
These DWGIs will be a problem. A lot of them will die, or get themselves killed. Part of the burden of being a survivor is feeling guilty about surviving while others around you have died - this is the "plane crash survivor" syndrome, irrational but almost unavoidable. Y2k is going to be a big ugly plane crash. Get ready to watch people die, or watch them do things that will get them killed. Galvanize yourselves for this, and you will survive to realize the "better angels of your nature" when circumstances turn favorable.
-- E. Coli (email@example.com), December 15, 1998.
I'm right there with you, Arnie. My ex-landlord and real-estate broker (ex-boss, too) is also my ex-mayor. I hammered on him from April thru June, when he finally GI and instantly went DWGI.
He'd say "well, what I am I supposed to do?" (I still get nauseaus recalling saying WELL, HOW ABOUT HAVING THEM PREPARE, FOR A START?, I had to say that a number of times to him.)
A characteristic of a DWGI is "conformity at all costs", or at least the appearance of conformity. I ran into so many of these that I realized only a letter would do. And it's working, too. I had the great good luck of a 2-hour power outage at happening at EXACTLY the same time the locals were pulling the newspaper out of their mailbox!
Your DWGIs will only get it when they hear it from another conformist. Make sure you quote, quote, quote all happenings, like particularly the UN meeting where Germany's worried about Russia's ability to continue to provide almost half their power. In fact, I never mention bank runs or market crashes or VISA going under. I always concentrate on loss of power, because that threat doesn't have to pass thru the usual DWGI rationality-filters, and you can easily find corroborating data to reference.
My ex-mayor DWGI is having to answer questions from his constituency now, since the letter was published. I can feel him squirm from here.
I'm sick about the CGIs, too.
Anyway, if you BELIEVE that the turn is coming, that awareness will skyrocket in January, it's easier to get yourself thru the day. Just think "slow, steady pressure". Good luck, I know exactly how you feel.
-- Lisa (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 15, 1998.
E. Coli: I won't feel guilty that others will perish and I am still living. Do you feel guilty right now that you have food in your stomach, a roof over your head and money in your pocket while there are millions of starving people in the world? Some are dying because their government has oppressed them, and some are dying because they screw like rabbits and repopulate their race into the same misery. I don't have the answers, I only know that I have someone looking out for me. We are all very lucky here and I won't and don't feel guilty. By the way, on the news last night did anyone see the huge warehouse filled to the brim with food and supplies that was suppose to be going to Honduras? There's no budget to get the goods there (so they say). Wonder if it's going to be kept here for when Y2K hits us hard. I don't feel guilty that it will be used here instead of there. But here we are trying to help and the government stands in the way. Did you know that over 50% of your donated money and goods goes into someone else's pocket instead of the cause it was mean for? I donate to my own causes because ultimately no one else will take care of you but you. IMHO
-- Bardou (Bardou@baloney.com), December 16, 1998.
Bardou, I took what E. said as the survivor guilt one gets from surviving when people close to you die, i.e., family, friends, neighbors, even people in same hometown. The starving and dying people in other countries are abstract people, one never met. There is no emotional attachment to these latter as there is with the former.
-- Chris (email@example.com), December 16, 1998.
Arnie, I have tried for six months to sound the alarm at my church.Gave the Pastor books, tapes, video etc... Pastor finally agreed to have a forum (Dec 6) which 20-25 people showed. He cut me short when I tried to explain different levels of preparation. Said we would have preparation meeting sometime in the future. After questioning him on that he said maybe in January (don't want to spoil the holidays - people are already too busy). I decided to have a meeting of my own at the house this Friday which he agreed to announce last Sunday. Don't have much hope - after the first meeting people were polite when saying hello but didn't stop to chat - just hurried on by. You know like we have the y2k flu bug or something! My dad GI but is focusing on protection. Mom says no time to bother with it now and won't tell my sister with 3 kids because it will make her angry?!? Other sister never wrote back. I look at all the "normal" life going on and sometimes wish I didn't get it either! But we do and 1999 is going to be a very interesting year. Diana
-- Diana (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 16, 1998.