Brotherhood of Yourdon : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

After the unfortunate demise of Rickology and Daletics, my latest proposal is the formation of the "Brotherhood of Yourdon".

This will be an illustrious organisation open only to the elite members of the forum, they know who they are (even unk).

It has as yet undefined principles, but these will be formulated by the membership. Obviously these have to be vetted by the founder.

Fees will be modest, well within the means of members but payable in Swiss Francs or bullion only to an account in the Cayman Islands (y2k quarantined).

-- Richard Dale (, December 10, 1998


Sir Richard,

I assume you use the term "Brotherhood" in the "broader" sense...that is, to include us broads???

I hope we can come up with a new post-y2k lexicon. I know, the "Personhood of Yourdon" does sound too odd.

I hereby volunteer to coordinate all field trips. I think I better so do a site inspection for our first meeting... say the Cayman Islands?

-- Sara Nealy (, December 10, 1998.

Move over Dale! Us broads have guns now. We're taking over this place and calling it Yourdon's Sisterhood.

Sara you've got of field trips job. Diane, you're in charge of community action. Recruit more broads. Tricia, round up your fleeced geese, we'll need 'em. Lisa, you keep an eye on the y2k indexes, any indexes. Gayla you're the grammar consultant. Donna'll give you a hand. I'll hold the trolls at bay.

Ok, I think we're set. Diana get going on the recruits.

-- Chris (, December 10, 1998.

OK Chris, Sara, Your powers of organisation are admirable in getting the rival Sisterhood in gear. However I envisaged the Brotherhood to be co-ed, but run by males (well just one really me). If it comes to it I don't mind running the Sisterhood as well.

Brotherhood has a wider meaning of companionship etc as does "man" which can mean human being, humankind etc not just an adult male.

Anyway the "Brotherhood" seems to be going the same way as Rickology, fallen at the first hurdle, can't even decide the name and a splinter group is starting up already!

-- Richard Dale (, December 10, 1998.

I will give my full and total support to whichever group gives me the most important-sounding title. I've always wanted to be part of the aristocracy, and I can't be bothered waiting for y2k to happen.


-- Leo (, December 10, 1998.

Members are advised to learn to ride horses and sail wooden boats.

-- Tom Carey (, December 10, 1998.

Not sure where dis one's headin', but dang sure us guys are in for it now . . .

Okay Richard, I'll play along. Instead of "Brotherhood of Yourdon", how about just "Yourdonhood" with accompanying rules for the hood. Or better yet "The Family of Yourdon". We certainly argue like a family. Rules? Number one: Must have genuine interest in contributing to Y2K awareness and preparation (which rules out the occasional impersonators and willey casey types). Number two: Must refrain from insulting the members of the family (impersonators are fair game). Number three: Must have thick skin; not easily offended (in case brother or sister temporarily forgets rule number two).

-- David (, December 10, 1998.

And for our anthem I'm proposing:

Wooden Ships - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

"...wooden ships on the water, very free and easy, easy, you know the way it's supposed to be,..."

-- Donna Barthuley (, December 10, 1998.

Righto, Community Action.

The first community action proposal I offer the membership for consideration is organizing a "rubber ducky brigade" to go along with the horses and wooden ships. (California Hot tub time!).

Also how abo-o-ut (said with Canadian accent) Yourdon's Digital Drill Team? Brother/Sister Yourdonhood? Yourdon's Y2Kaydettes?


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 10, 1998.

Hey, can I join?? I can cook great popcorn over a campfire !! Have a very large supply, as a matter of fact.


-- Reader (, December 10, 1998.

Reader, absolutely, but only if that popcorn has butter.

-- David (, December 10, 1998.


I have a supply of "Butter Buds". Will "Butter Buds" be OK on the popcorn instead of real butter ??


-- Reader (, December 10, 1998.

Yeah.......well I get to develop the secret handshake.

-- Craig (, December 10, 1998.

Reader, O, a health nut eah? Ok, Ok butter buds will do. Personally, I intend to enjoy the real thing until we don't have it anymore. Then I may come running for your butter buds. Welcome aboard. Make yourself at home. Feel free to contribute anytime.

-- David (, December 10, 1998.

Diane - Are we allowed to have left and righted rubber ducky's? What if a left-hand rubber ducky gets in the wrong hot tubs and swims counter-clockwise? What if it is in NZ's hot tub ans has to swin counter-clockwise and up-side down? Why does a right-brained rubber duky feels like it is left out of its brain? If it has left out of its brain, where did it go?

If a Chinese hot tub drains out through a hole in the middle of the earth, does it "swirl" the opposite direction in the other side?

Wouldn't this confuse the rubber ducky coming out the other side?

I can't find my stealth Canadianian rubber duckies. Where should I look for them? How will I know that I found them?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 10, 1998.

Diane, pay attention! I said recruit as your first assignment. How do plan to organize a rubber duckie brigade with only a handful?!

So far only one lurker joined. You can do better. Lezgo girl!

-- Chris (, December 10, 1998.


You're not limited to just one rubby ducky. There are no rubby ducky hoarding rules here. Have at least two, and double-helix 'em. It's a very BIG hot tub. Plenty of room for leftys and righties, and inbetweenies.

Maybe a rubber ducky yin-yang hot tub dance? Swirl your duckys? Ducky line dancing?

Stealth duckys. Hum. Camafloge (-1 sp) paint?

All duckys must have "twinkles" in their rubber eyes. Passing out the rinestones now. Toss.s.s.s.s! Glitter magic!


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 10, 1998.

And Donna, fix that sentence "how do plan to" to "how do you plan to".


-- Chris (, December 10, 1998.

Diane you're still not paying attention! Rule #1: Do NOT post at the same time as me.

(Geez...some people!)

-- Chris (, December 10, 1998.

Leska, oh Leska! Calling all California hot tubbers! Calling all global lurkers! Calling all rubber ducky afficianados!

Y2K compliant, non-complaining, Yourdon group forming!!! Join ! Join!! Join!!!

How's that? It's a start. Awareness is growing.


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 10, 1998.

Good going girl. It's a start.

Ok, Leo, as Unuch #1 you're in charge of this place while I'm away. Have to sign off.

(darn maids can't count on them to do lundry.)

-- Chris (, December 10, 1998.

T thought the 'urkers did the unch's lundry for unknle?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 10, 1998.

I've been in a few California hot tubs. Never saw any rubber duckies. Saw lots of other things, though. (nyuck, nyuck, nyuck...)

In the "Yourdonhood," I'd like to be "Minister of Silly Walks." Thank you...

-- pshannon (, December 10, 1998.

wow! it ain't often you can get in on the ground floor of a giant conspiracy! and the fee can be paid in bullion cubes? my kinda barter too! you want crackers with that?


-- Arlin H. Adams (, December 10, 1998.

Have a stock of roasted minced garlic and oregano to sprinkle on the popcorn. Makes it smell really good around the campfire, jazzes up that popcorn (since it's gonna be a staple).

Have a small stock of white mocha, hazelnut vanilla, and chocolate fudge chips to melt in the smores. Counting on Diane to stock the heavy-duty stuff. Although, shouldn't we get off the jolts before Y2K? It's beneath us all to have to barter away good TP for a hit of joe.

Vote for finding good natural hot springs and volcanic heating so we have more time for passing along the legends of the techno-century around the campfire. Play the fiddle, have a harmonium, Ashton wildly good at tablas, who plays guitar? Gotta jam after the smores.

Hardliner will write our ballads, who sings?

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xx

-- Leska (, December 10, 1998.

Singing, passable. Have a guitar I can't play, that used to belong to my musical and engineer-oriented Dad, now passed on and having a grand time. I can strum a few chords, am a quick study and am willing to pass the "baton" over to any good musician.


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 10, 1998.

Can I join? I have LOTS of matches to start the campfire. I play drums a little...we'll need rythmn for the dances around the fire, and I do commercial cleaning. (You guys can't make a mess I can't clean up!)

-- Alive in 2001 (, December 10, 1998.

Well, we could contribute two guitars, a fiddle, viola and cello, with musicians. And yes, we love to sing. Can even carry a tune (yes, all eight of us).

-- Maria (, December 10, 1998.

Aww man! I go away a couple hours and this place falls appart! What a pathetic bunch we must look to the lurkers. How d'you all think Diane is gonna recruit those furtive eyeball y2k nuts? Those aren't trolls you can just throw a bait at! She'll need the help of us all. So stand in line straight.

Dang Leo! Where are you?! I left you in charge. If you want that important sounding title, get yer stubbled chin in here!

Leska, we got better things to do than singing! The world is falling appart fergadsake! Get yer head outta the clouds.

Craig, a secret handshake won't be easy to do here, we're not in some William Gibson novel like Neuromancer. Think of a password or phrase or somethin'.

Pshannon, get that mind outta the gutter. We need all minds clean and focused on the task at hand, can't afford to lose good ones either.

Tom, you're my senior advisor. We'll need teachers to teach us how to ride horses and sail wooden boats. We'll need carpenters to build those boats too. Help Diane find volunteers.

Donna, good going! Wooden Ships by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, I like that. Our anthem it is.

David, good set of rules. Give them to Gayla to proof-read and type up. And where's Gayla? Lateness won't be tolerated here!

Robert, don't eat Buds buttered popcorn while typing, I can't make out a thing you're saying. That butter is wicked.

Arlin, you just hold on to your socks, you ain't seen nothin' yet. When women are in charge, things actually happen. Store your bullion cubes and crackers in that closet over there.

Reader, welcome aboard. Pass the popcorn. Contribute all you want, and tell your lurkin' friends to come on over. But don't forget this is the Yourdon's Sisterhood. Women rule here. Have a problem, talk to one of 'em.

Ok, gotta go again. Hafta rush to make dinner and eat, promised hubby I'd go with him and the boys to a hockey game after dinner. Have to keep the man happy once in a while and pretend I like hockey, just cuz I'm a canuck.

Last chance Leo, you better keep this unruly bunch in line!

-- Chris (, December 10, 1998.

Sir! Yes ma'am! Sir! Right away. Sir!

(Sulking.) P.S. I thought you were doing the lundry....gonna leave us alone to play in the hot tub with Diane's rubber duckies.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 10, 1998.

Chris, Maybe Diane didn't take action because she was confused by "Diana get going on the recruits" Oops, you had to remind me about that laundry (the box of missing socks is filling up although the red ones seem to stay teamed up) and then there's those matches I forgot to order. My dad's last job with the navy was disciplining the recruits that didn't measure up, I'll see if he's open to the job if Leo's not up to it! Hey, what's for dinner? Diana

-- Diana (, December 10, 1998.

Yes, indices, I'm going out for some right now. Been staring further down into the Abyss than I should during a workday, over at one of Leo's threads. Man, this Y2K analysis is a drinking sport. Ok. Be right back with an index or two. Keep your clothes on.

-- Lisa (whew!, December 10, 1998.

Say, is this where our namesake is today? Thursday, 12/10/1998

U.N. Confronts Global Shortfalls On Y2K

Recognizing that the looming Year 2000 computer glitch could spark a global ripple effect - with the least prepared nations pulling others down - the United Nations is holding an unprecedented international conference to confront the so-called Y2K problem.

Areas of greatest concern: Airline traffic control, telecommunications networks, the flow of energy products such as oil or natural gas, security of borders and shared financial data.

Representatives from at least 80 nations, and possibly as many as 120, begin arriving Thursday at the United Nations in New York. Formal working sessions and a meeting with U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan are set for Friday.

The Gartner Group, leaders in Y2K analysis worldwide, reports that no more than two dozen nations are actively working on the problem. ''The consequences of unpreparedness in any one country can rapidly spill over to other parts of the world,'' says Pakistani Ambassador Ahmad Kamal, the conference organizer.

If the computers of one nation's banking system fail, for example, they could cut off transactions with global partners and rupture the worldwide electronic flow of cash.

''The goal is to work together to identify and address issues that go across borders,'' says John Koskinen, who chairs the U.S. government's effort to prepare for Y2K.

Koskinen says that merely bringing these nations together ''makes this the most important meeting on the Year 2000 problem held to date.'' The World Bank, which with the United States and United Kingdom are providing $17 million to assist developing countries in need of Y2K aid, also is participating in the conference.

Organizers require that every nation taking part must name an official who will attend the session and serve as that government's Y2K leader. ''Having a name of someone in charge is a very important first step,'' Koskinen says. .....

By M.J. Zuckerman, USA TODAY

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Leska (, December 10, 1998.

Leska: Thanks for the USA Today post - I heard two radio stations that gave it a mention, and also that it was front page. Let's see what actually comes out of the UN efforts... hopefully something more than just the usual communique like when the G8 talked about it late this summer and then didn't do much.

-- Rob Michaels (, December 10, 1998.

Swiss Francs or bullion? How about Swiss Mocha and a begal? Is there a membership option for the less fortunate?

May I please be allowed into what ever "hood" this is?

I don't know if I could continue if I wasn't allowed access to all the nutso, funny-bone tickling, should be locked up in an asylum, wonderfully compassionate and caring people I've come to think of as my extended family.

Eh, well, most of you anyway : )

Diane, I'd be honored to accompany you on the guitar.


ps...keep away from my hot tub. =================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (, December 11, 1998.

Leska, "The consequences of unpreparedness in any one country can rapidly spill over to other parts of the world." Think the heat in the global hot tub is warming up! Jacuzzi jets ... three ... two ... one ... ON! Hang on rubber duckies! (Den mother's out just now).

Love the accompanyment (-1 sp) Michael. But can you play the dang guitar?


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 11, 1998.

It seems we've got plenty of:

Toy Dux Music (hey Donna's the guitarist, can't lug my piano out to the campsite) Food Organisation! of the YESSIR!! type Toy Dux Suggested bathing arrangements Practical suggestions And finally more dux

But no role (as yet) for Leo

Really its more like "lets party".

-- Richard Dale (, December 11, 1998.

Very well, since Chris has obviously bestowed me with some form of office that I was clearly unaware of, I have decided as my first act to bestow upon myself the title of Count. It'll do for now. And secondly, to knight Chris, and of course the esteemed founder of this organisation.


Orright, you lousy lot. You heard my orders. Uh, you should have. If I'd given `em. Which I'm about to. Lissen up: this is no place for trespassers. They will be shot on sight. Especially the lurkers who we can't see. Them especially. And any stealth duckies what happens to go renegade and become defective. But a defective stealth duckie is visible.

--Count Leo

-- Leo (, December 11, 1998.

Count Leo has a ring to it.

I need promotion, Ok I'll earn my stripes.

-- Richard Dale (, December 11, 1998.

I volunteer to organise the first and only annual piss up in a brewery :)

-- Andy (, December 11, 1998.

Okay guys, I wanna join too! I play the guitar, make a mean jug 'o' wine, am a great cook, and besides it sounds like fun!

Roll out the barrel!!!

Bobbi +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ "Civilization is the process of setting man free from men." -- Ayn Rand -- +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Y2k? Got water? Got Beans? Take the Y2k Preparation Quiz!

-- Bobbi (, December 11, 1998.

Bobbi, am I the only one who gets dizzy when I read your post sign- off? It's like travelling down Alice's rabbit hole. Maybe you should be the Queen of Hearts?

I've always fancied being an Empress, myself. Let's just all agree not to have a Czar or Czarina. Koskinen dorsn't get to join this club.

So, what's the secret handshake, Craig?

-- Sara Nealy (, December 11, 1998.

I knew I couldn't trust a man in charge! This is a coup d'etat!

                     | |
                 (###   ###)-.
               .(###     ###) \
              /  (###   ###)   )
             (=-  .@#####@|_--"
             /\    \_|l|_/ (\
            (=-\     |l|    /
             \  \.___|l|___/
             /\      |_|   /
             \             /
                 #  ----  #
                 #   __   #

I told you guys this broad had a gun and I'm not afraid to use it (if I can figure out how.) Tom, is this thing pointing the right way? Leo, step back! You're demoted to janitor. Your job is to clean the latrines and fix the defective stealth rubber duckies. Make sure we have a sufficient supply of toilet paper.


Pay no attention to Leo! Join us! We need fresh new minds and ideas!! Leska! No posting of articles in this place, you're going to attrack the trolls! Build a new thread for important news such as these. Sheesh! You all get back to your jobs now. I'm in no mood for sillyness! The Flyers lost to the Devils last night 5-4 in the last minute. grrr

-- Chris (, December 11, 1998.

Chris, pretty cool picture. I'm glad you explained it was a gun. For a minute, I thought you resigned and put a big catepillar in charge us.

-- David (, December 11, 1998.

Sir Richard: Wasn't there a King Leo????

Fellow Brother and Sister Yourdonites:

Before signing up myself, there is still the matter of the 'modest fees'... Since I have spent all of my money on Y2K prep, could I join by donating my somewhat famous really bright red not-missing sock and a pre-1990 fruitcake (as historical items) ?

-- Rob Michaels (, December 11, 1998.

Fruitcake?!? Well . . . maybe Chris could use it for ammunition for that gun of hers.

-- David (, December 11, 1998.

Empress Sara, LOL! I guess you are reading from the forum email the sigline looks okay. I hadn't realized it looked so screwed up in the forum itself! I will fix that (I hope)

Queen of Hearts...I like it! It's better than the nick my bro-in-law calls me which is "Doomsday Girl" and stuff like that!

Onward and upward....

Bobbi +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ "Civilization is the process of setting man free from men." -- Ayn Rand -- +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Y2k? Got water? Got Beans? Take the Y2k Preparation Quiz!

(let's see if *this* works....argh)

-- Bobbi (, December 11, 1998.

Sir Richard: Wasn't there a King Leo????

Frightening thought. I think Leo is more like Rosencrantz. Looks like I'm Hamlet, hang on this Brotherhood is turning out all wrong, an armed coup, betrayals, power struggles....

-- Richard Dale (, December 11, 1998.

SIr Richard: LOL

David: Yes, socks and fruitcake too. For a background on this stuff look at the Grandmama missing check and Perfect Y2K food threads. They are, IMHO, two of the funniest threads ever. The missing check thread is in the uncategorized section of the archives, but I couldn't find the fruitcake thread!

Where IS It? Help.

-- Rob Michaels (, December 11, 1998.

Hidden under the stealth duckies?

....calling all fruitcakes!!! calling all fruitcakes!!!! We have a missing fruitcake alert in progress. (Is this a 10-2000 police radio signal?)

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 11, 1998.

Cook, Robert A.

There you are good sir! I guess we have been posting at different times. I looked through all of the archives and couldn't find it. This is terrible! Wasn't it called Y2K perfect food or Perfect Y2K food?

-- Rob Michaels (, December 11, 1998.

Fruitcakes for amunition! That's an idea. But I'd need a much bigger gun. Someone suggested building a catapult, that'd work.

Perfect Y2K food?

I found it in Misc category.

-- Chris (, December 11, 1998.

hmm..thought I had closed the link tag.

-- Chris (, December 11, 1998.

Thanks Chris. A catapult would work, yes. Also, fruitcake are exempt from reporting requirements under the proposed Know Your Customer laws. Looked through the Federal Register - no fruitcake! (They are also protected under the FRL Executive Decision #63.)

-- Rob Michaels (, December 11, 1998.

Where is my rubber ducky? Here is yellow bird & cookie monster but no rubber ducky. Oops, my rubber ducky is up that tree the children are dancing around singing, "I love you--You love me--We are a happy family". Dang it is hard running in a dress. Those children will get me kicked out of this club. Oh kids, popcorn here. I will even make you popcorn balls......


-- Reader (, December 11, 1998.

BTW what is the difference between a "broad" and a "dame", is this 1940s speak.

Do you still say ....wise, ie where do you stand y2k-wise, or is this 195/60s Ivy League speak.

-- Richard Dale (, December 11, 1998.

Sir Richard, yep, usage of terms like "-wise", "broad" and "dame" are definitely from the past. But you know us Colonials, we recycle language like fruitcakes. We occasionally bring these things out of the closet for old-times sake, but they're too hard to digest in anything but very small portions. Of course this applies to both language and fruitcakes as well as fashion.

Reader . . . now I'm hearing giggles and "Time for Tele bye-byes". I guess the 12 month got hold of the remote. Which reminds me, Sir Richard . . . would you mind speaking to someone in your native land to formally request that they TAKE BACK those little furry aliens with TV's on their bellies? If you think Barney is alot to handle, you haven't seen these creatures yet.

-- David (, December 11, 1998.

Psst. Sir Richard.

I thought this was a "brotherhood," not a "botherhood" nor a "broaderhood"?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 11, 1998.

But don't her I said so.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 11, 1998.


-- David (, December 11, 1998.

Hey, that's MY fruitcake! Uh oh...

Robert, CHECK SIX! (it has an embedded smart chip sensor in it and has changed direction ).

-- Rob Michaels (, December 11, 1998.

D**m - both directions now. SOBob! - I nead a tail gunner.

Need? Knead? We back on cooking bread now? Where's that microwaved dry cat when I kneed it?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 11, 1998.

Cat's ok. Microwave is not compliant though. BTW, can we microwave fruicake?

-- Rob Michaels (, December 11, 1998.

This is tooo cute....Can I join? I dont have $$$$ either spent on Y2K prep, but,,,,,I have 2 yellow rubber ducks, and If you dont mind, I can also bring along strawberry bubbles for the hot tub....Hey, bubbles wont hurt the ducks will they? If Chuck joins, I will bring the xanex.

-- consumer (, December 11, 1998.

It seems that once again I have to take responsibility for "As the Thread Turns". I apologize to the forum and especially to you Sir Richard... but thank you for accepting my humble 'donation'.

-- Rob Michaels (, December 11, 1998.

Rob, do NOT under any circumstances try to microwave that thing. Fruitcakes are so full of waste material, you'd likely contaminate the entire region with nuclear fallout. Then the only ones left would be the cockroahes. Of course, they might actually eat the fruitcake since no one else is willing.

And consumer, welcome aboard, but take it eeeaasy on the bubbles please. Hot tubs have a tendency really magnify the um . . . the uh?? . . bubble factor.

-- David (, December 11, 1998.

David, How could you B-{ Teletubbies are the greatest thing since Sesame St. especially since kermit died. I have it on good authority that their belly receiver systems are compliant even if they're not on DeJagers list. And the Noo-Noo's chips are not date-sensitive. Besides, I think I've got the hots fo Laa-Laa. Oh-OOOooohh


"Over the hills and far away, Teletubbies come to play"

-- Hallyx (, December 11, 1998.

Are Tellie-Belly's (-1 sp?) hot-tub compatible?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 11, 1998.

I guess that's supposed to be " Teletubbies " eh?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 11, 1998.

Yep...this thread is silly and getting really out of hand. To partially atone for even mentioning fruitcake and socks, I will put in a new question where we can start off this way and whoever wants can just keep going. Stay tuned.

-- Rob Michaels (, December 11, 1998.

Going where? Can I get the window seat? When will we know we've gotten here? How do we know when we've gotten there?

Are we there yet?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 11, 1998.

My son Mitchell's eye's always seem to become brighter when the Tubbies appear on our local PBS channel. I think he has a thing for either Lu Lu or La La...

Diane, yep, I play the guitar to relax and maintain my sanity. Somehow or other I've slipped away anyway but I seem to be very relaxed about it.

Where is the Court of the Kingdom of Yourdon to be geographically? It's much warmer here in So Cal during the winter... there is Santa Catalina Island... or will we all have to move to the Cayman Islands where all the Francs and bullion are to be located? Is the bank there compliant?

Mike "Fool of the Jesters, and Jester to the Fools." Danny Kaye, The Court Jester =============================================================

-- Michael Taylor (, December 11, 1998.

Wait, stop, I hafta go to da bathroom.
When I get back I wanna snack -- BBQ chips?

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (, December 11, 1998.

Maybe we can roast fruitcakes over the campfire? Instead of smoking guns, Chris, smoking fruitcakes? Feed em to the Teletubbies? Float them in the global hot tube?

Wheres my luminescent rubby ducky anyway? Gotta find that ducking ducky. No ducking away from this Yourdonhood. This is a life sentence. Or paragraph?


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 11, 1998.

Robert, the tubbies are most definitely tub compatible. They float. Though I'm not sure I'd want to be in a hot tub with someone whose entire vocabulary is Oh-OOOOhhh.

Hallyx, so sorry. It's just that sometimes . . . well, um, . . . Ok, here it is -- they get on my nerves. There, I said it. I'm certain my youngest will never forgive me, but it's out in the open now. Ahhh, I feel better.

-- David (, December 11, 1998.

Does anybody else need to stand up and begin the twelve step telley-belly program?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 11, 1998.

Oh sure!

I finally get into the forum, and I see that all of the positions have been filled with the exemption of "Village Idiot". RATS!!

Oh well, if the shoe fits....

-- Uncle Deedah (, December 11, 1998.

I too finally got through to this Forum, and bring I?

I offer by Solar Cooker, and on the cooker already is this rule written:



-- Joe (, December 11, 1998.

Don' have much discretionary income left from Y2K preps (a continuing saga), but I have lots of wood in case you need it. Also willing to stoke and tend (was tempted to say "man", but I'm trying to avoid flames)the fire, if that position hasn't been taken :-)

-- Tim (, December 11, 1998.

Awright you guys. Now you've done it. See girls what happens when you leave a bunch of guys together for even a minute? They stop working and talk sillyness. Teletubbies!! That says a lot about men and maturity.

Look at all the new recruits! Welcome Diana, Maria, Joe and Tim. I hope you'll be contributing outside of this place too now that you've been officially welcomed to the Yourdonhood (if you have already, I didn't notice cuz I'm too busy keeping this unruly bunch in line.) Stop by the Asylum too and say hi to Hardliner, but remember to talk in rhyme or he'll go schitzo on you.

Deedah I think I can come up with a better position than Village Idiot for ya. We'll need a bouncer at the door, don't want rufiants and trolls taking over the place. New recruits, you'll have to earn your stripes. You're officially promoted from lurkers to newbies as of now.

Ok now, time to take an inventory of our stockpile. So far we have:

- Stealth Rubber Duckies. How many so far Diane? And how versatile are they? What are they used for anyway?

- Fruitcakes. We can't have too many of these. They can be used for just about anything. Food/amunitions/construction material/fireplace fuel/bbq briquets/tools (sledge hammer etc.) and many other uses I forget now. Consumer, you're in charge of ordering Fruitcakes. 2 truckloads for now should do until we find more space.

-Tub Bubbles. Bubbles are good. I'm sure we'll find a use for them. Enhencing the stealthiness of the rubber duckies comes to mind.

- BBQ chips. Are they compliant Leska? What version are they, cow or buffalo?

- Bullion cubes. We'll need bucket loads of them. Both chicken and beef flavor. Never know what currency they'll be accepting on the Cayman Islands.

Did I miss anything?

-- Chris (, December 11, 1998.

Tim, hummm. We may have to set up a sweat lodge, next to the global campfire and hot tub.

Lotsa "heat" here. Any one got ice cubes? My rubber ducky's sweating, uh, glistening.


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 11, 1998.

Tim yes yes, bring your wood along. Will be handy in case we run out of fruitcakes. And I like you're attitude, you'll go far in this place .

-- Chris (, December 11, 1998.

There goes Diane again! Posting at the same time as me! DIANE!!!! Drop and give me 100 push-ups!!

-- Chris (, December 11, 1998.


Can't keep track of the Stealth Rubber Duckies. The calculator isn't Y2K compliant. Had a pencil and paper, but the papers slick from all the heat and steam, and the pencil's off floating in the rubber ducky line dance.

Sheesh. This "hood" is about as organized as the newsmedia reporting on Y2K, NOT!


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 11, 1998.

As in lemon drops and ice-cream push ups? Righto.

We need a Minister of Acquisitions.


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 11, 1998.

Already DO -- Koskinen.

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (, December 11, 1998.

Sheesh, I take a day off to go working and find I've been recruited as minister of defence (I assume those fleece geece were to drop boney fruitcakes on demand?), then that Diane has been promoted over me! Well, I QUIT. I wanna be the treasurer. And the Swiss option is herewith removed (it's not a whole lot warmer there, Caymans sound better to me!). Pay up, all.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, December 11, 1998.

Tricia: Since the 'Swiss Option' has been removed, give 'em FRUITCAKE!

-- Rob MIchaels (, December 11, 1998.

Rob - Done! (as long as it doesn't come from *my* stash [I'm greedy])

-- Tricia the Canuck (, December 11, 1998.

Girls! Listen, we've been fooled by men in a MAJOR way all these years. And what's worse, your own FATHER was in on it, keeping this secret from you. I've just recieved this email from a friend, who's name shall remain anynimous for obvious reasons. If they deceived us in this way, just think... I shall just post her email here, and let you all decide for yourselves of its meaning.

---Chris *********************************** I think Santa Claus is a woman....

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my boyfriend tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

- Men can't pack a bag.

- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.

- Men don't answer their mail.

- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."

- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.

- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.

- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men......... Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!! ***********************************************

-- Chris (, December 11, 1998.

Why can't we be called the "Yourdonites"?

-- madeline (, December 11, 1998.

You MAY have a point there. Perhaps Mrs. Claus runs the whole show all year, making the decisions, writing the list and checking it twice, packing the bag, feeding the reindeer, scheduling the toy production lines, etc. However, like all women, when errands need to be run on a cold winter night, she calls for hubby and Mr Claus gets the chore.

-- Uncle Deedah (, December 11, 1998.

Oh man . . . next thing ya know, she's gonna go after Superman cause of the red cape and tights.

Check those postings, betcha they originate in the Amazon.

-- David (, December 11, 1998.

Hummm. Chris and Uncle both have valid points. Gotta contemplate that one s'more. Chew on a crunchy lemon drop 'n all.

Yourdonhood errand boys. Do they demand union wages? Will the reindeer strike? Will the elves picket the North Pole? How do we know it's North and not South. Is there a big Santa cover-up story, a conspiracy going on here? Any theories? Santa-gate?

Maybe we need to marshal all the lost n found red socks, string them up as automatic sling shots, line up the lethal fruitcakes, marinate em of course, and lob them all at Congress for not paying attention to whats important. A march on Pennsylvania Avenue and setting up fruitcake bunkers. We demand the TRUTH.

Has potential. Think theyd listen?


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 12, 1998.

"If you smile at me, I will understand,...cos that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language...Wooden ships on the water very free and easy, easy, know the way it's supposed to be."

I'm bringing the pianos, the guitars, the banjo, the mandolin and autoharp, a gaggle of songbooks, and resolve to keep you all singing as the fit hits the shan.

Been visiting with family for two folks have bben busy!! LOL

-- Donna Barthuley (, December 12, 1998.

Donna, you get the latrine job today for not closing your tag!

-- Chris (, December 12, 1998.

what a brainchild I am. I should probably not be allowed to take a break,...nearly two weeks away and must be retrained.

Latrine duty accepted humbly accepted.

-- Donna Barthuley (, December 12, 1998.

Thank god you're back! This place has gone to hell w/o you.

"Crack that whip"-Devo

-- Uncle Deedah (, December 12, 1998.

Moi? Uncle...I muchly appreciate the "welcome back" but it's been going to hell everywhere for a long time...

I've missed you too! My Folks are going home early Monday morning...and I'll be back to my old Y2K obsessive self in a jiffy.

Now,...about this "archy" you all are insisting we must have...I be "anti-archy" of any there room for me among equals and kindred human beings? :-D

-- Donna Barthuley (, December 12, 1998.

"Now,...about this "archy" you all are insisting we must have...I be "anti-archy" of any there room for me among equals and kindred human beings? :-D "

Only if you neuter your name. Lessee...Don? nah. hmmm...Donny?

Welcome back Donny...missed you too ;)

-- Chris (, December 12, 1998.

Just wanted to make this the 100th answer. I feel so special now ;)

-- Chris (, December 12, 1998.

Ahh beloved Chris,,,100th you are dear....

I shall pass you two rubber duckies, one strawberry bubble bath and we can order a ticket to Diane's hottub as your prize for being the 100th post. Congrats.

Donna welcome back sweetie, we missed you.

-- consumer (, December 12, 1998.

Actually my family calls me "Don" all the time...

"a rose by any other name would smell as sweet..."


-- Donna Barthuley (, December 13, 1998.

OK, I'm back! Sorry I'm late. Do I really have to do this job? People tend to hate you when you correct them. I'll do this once, and then can I have another job? Please?

I think I better so (go?) do a site inspection- Sara

Sara you've got of (the?) field trips job- Chris

Calling all rubber ducky afficianados! (aficionados)- Diane

darn maids can't count on them to do lundry (laundry)- Chris

...we'll need rythmn (rhythm) for the dances around the fire- Alive in 2001 (who reminds me a great deal of Uncle Deedah)

How about Swiss Mocha and a begal (I sure hope you meant bagel and not beagle!)- Mike

No posting of articles in this place, you're going to attrack (attract?) the trolls!- Chris

For a minute, I thought you resigned and put a big catepillar (caterpillar) in charge (of?) us- David

But don't (tell?) her I said so- Robert

D**m - both directions now. SOBob! - I nead (need) a tail gunner- Robert

Then the only ones left would be the cockroahes (cockroaches)- David

Enhencing (enhancing) the stealthiness of the rubber duckies comes to mind- Chris

you folks have bben (been) busy- Donna

-- Gayla Dunbar (, December 13, 1998.

You've quoted me 4 times! You're fired!! (from this job...send me your resume.)

-- Chris (, December 13, 1998.

Thank-you, thank-you!!! I didn't want that job anyway, but YOU appointed me. Just trying to follow orders. Gayla who is home where the sun is shining and it's 67 degrees!

-- Gayla Dunbar (, December 13, 1998.

Consumer, you're walking a thin line. That tone in your voice said "ahh..beloved Witch". I'm immune to flatteries or flames, so don't try to get out of latrine duties, it's your turn today.

-- Chris (, December 13, 1998.

I thought I lost my defective stealth rubber ducky, but then again, I might be mistaken because I can't see it it might be fixed. But it were fixed then I can't reproduce the problem and so I'm not sure the programmers will believe me when I report it missing......

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 13, 1998.

"You MAY have a point there. Perhaps Mrs. Claus runs the whole show all year, making the decisions, writing the list and checking it twice,..." Deedah...YOU may have a point there yourself. I'm not so sure anymore she's a woman. I've consulted a trusted friend, who too shall remain anonymous for same obvious reasons, and he gave me this response:

"So, Santa Claus is a woman, eh? I seriously doubt it. There are a few reasons. First of all, coal in the stocking. If Santa were a woman, and ran across a truly bad little boy or girl, she'd mutter something about "not wanting to damage the child's self-esteem", and then leave a copy of "Chicken Soup For The Soul". Can you imagine ANY woman in red velvet getting within 15 feet of soot? A woman setting up shop at the North Pole? The battle over the thermostat would have shut the place down centuries ago. If Santa were a woman, no one would get their gifts until January 1st. "Well, all the best sales are after Christmas, anyway." It takes most women weeks just to find the right pair of shoes. You honestly think a woman could pick out gifts for the entire world in a mere 364 days? Even if that weren't the case, Christmas Eve would definitely take much longer. Can you imagine how much time it would take to find an acceptable open rest room on Christmas Eve? As regards Rudolph, what self-respecting woman would travel behind a portable red light district? The elves would have long since grown tired answering the same question every time she put on the suit. "Does this make me look fat?" "I can't make the trip this year. I'm retaining water." All that time to get made up, and then put on a hat and drive in an open-top vehicle? No woman I know. Snowy rooftops. High heeled boots. 'nuf said. The sleigh would've crashed years ago. Imagine trying to sort through gifts, control a team of of nine deer, and apply makeup all at the same time. I've driven behind women just trying to apply makeup, and they have a hard enough time trying to control a car doing just that."

I don't know what to think anymore...who to believe??

-- Chris (, December 13, 1998.

Robert, I don't have time to worry about what programmers will believe or not concerning your lost stealth rubber duckie. This Santa Claus problem is much more important and must be resolved right away, we only have 12 days remaining 'till SHTF and bows start flying everywhere. Consult Diane on this, she's the expert.

-- Chris (, December 13, 1998.

Typical, typical, typical ....... getting all histerical and historical and uppity and worrying and jumpy before the deadline about something that you knew was coming for a whole year......and I suppose you think that indicates that Santa Claus - who has clearly been planning and getting ready for a whole year, rationally planning ahead, not letting emotions get in the way of fast re-actions at the last minute ... is of the girl-type feminine persuasion? Really now, I'm sirprised.

It's obviously a partnership.

Planning side from 12/26/yyyy to 12/24/yyyy = definite typical feminiminiminininininity.

Action side 12/24/yyyy + 12/25/yyyyy = definite guy behavior. (Besides he gets to finally leave the house and see the football games.)

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 13, 1998.

Chris and Conumer - Before you order too many fruitcakes you should read the other thread. It covers the recent goings on of the FRL - its not a pretty sight. We wouldn't want to be infiltrated by a bunch of bologna!

Sorry I came so late. Reporting for duty.

-- Christine A. Newbie (, December 13, 1998.

Chris, just believe in Santas abilities to get the job done, mostly, on time. Its the team spirit that counts. (Reindeer nudges help too).


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 13, 1998.

What about the sanity clause.

The stealth rubber dux have been upgraded to instant improbability drive. They can materialise in any part of the known bathotic galaxy simultaneously.

They are also a fallback pressie for "fix on failure" Ms Claus.

-- Richard Dale (, December 14, 1998.

Mr. Dale, please learn to speak REAL English. If we're going to be united and effective, we must use a standard in language. British dialects are monkey wrenches in the wheels of progress.

I haven't understood a thing you said.

-- Chris (, December 14, 1998.

Diane, if I could just "believe in Santas abilities to get the job done, mostly, on time", I wouldn't be here on this forum to discuss with you. I'd be happily doing my Christimas shopping and baking now, oblivious to the world falling appart around me; defective stealth rubber duckies and all. mom was so right: "Heureux les creux, le royaume des cieux est a eux. (Loosely translate to ignorance is bliss.)

-- Chris (, December 14, 1998.

What about the sanity clause.

Everyone knows there's no sanity clause (Groucho Marx).

The stealth rubber dux have been upgraded to instant improbability drive.

The rubber duck was the "logo" for Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy which featured a spaceship with the above drive and Zaphod Beebelbrox who had two heads.

They are also a fallback pressie for "fix on failure" Ms Claus.

-- Richard Dale (, December 14, 1998.

Ok I got it. Sort of. Humor needs to be standardized too. British humor is non-compliant and does not interface well with the complexity my neural interconnections.

-- Chris (, December 14, 1998.

See what happens when you try to run a bloke-joke on me? There's missing bytes in my sentences.

-- Chris (, December 14, 1998.

Chris, if big Santa will take care of mission critical tasks, all the local elves might muddle through next year's holidays.

Meanwhile, back to the whiff of cinnamon wafting through the Y2K compliant air. At least something, sorta, works.

Has Santa filed an SEC 10-Q report yet?


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 14, 1998.

Count me in! I think a uniform is needed to go with the anthem and name. Have treadle sewing machine (Y2K compliant) and will happily sew straight jackets for one and all....


-- Sheila (, December 14, 1998.

Now, this article struck me as a great example of how, when a respected person suddenly exposes the idiocy of an accepted convention, the new freedom is hailed. Very apropo for Y2K. Diane, you must eMail this Dutch prince.

Plus, another salvo in Clausology.


Dutch Prince Sparks Anti-Tie Movement

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) - With the simple tug of a tie, a Dutch prince has touched off a revolution in the Netherlands.

In a speech opening a show of African fashion, Prince Claus ceremoniously wriggled free of his Windsor knot, yanked off his navy blue necktie and tossed it rather inelegantly at the feet of his wife, Queen Beatrix.

``A snake around my neck,'' the 73-year-old prince snarled to a standing ovation.

Reporting the story that evening, one TV anchorman peeled off his tie. In solidarity, so did the sportscaster who gave the soccer scores. Now, a week later, Claus is a folk hero, and an open collar has never been more in vogue.

The phenomenon already has a name: ``Claustrophilia,'' which celebrates the prince for denouncing ties.

``I also suffer from Claus's tie phobia, so I'm shouting for joy at the prince's call for a ban on neckties,'' Wouter van Winden, a businessman in the central city of Delft, was quoted as saying in Monday's De Volkskrant newspaper.

``No piece of clothing combines so little function with so much potential to show bad taste,'' he said. ``For me, a necktie is like a dog leash - both symbolize a limit on freedom. Why else does Nelson Mandela never wear one?''

Amen, says Claus, who proclaimed the South African president ``the best-dressed man I know'' during Wednesday's fashion show at the royal palace in Amsterdam.

That even a prince could find a tie a royal pain has resonated across Holland, where neckwear remains the standard in business but is no less loathed.

The necktie as a nemesis has Internet chat rooms abuzz over Claus and his fashion statement, which the German-born prince humorously dubbed ``the Declaration of Amsterdam.''

``I have never worn a necktie in my life,'' said Coen van den Heuvel of Eindhoven. ``On my wedding day 17 years ago, my mother ran out and bought a tie. It's still in the box.''

Copyright 1998 Associated Press.

xxxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Leska (, December 14, 1998.

So, we are back to "sanities", eh?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 14, 1998.

Yes, Robert! Sans-ties for the uniforms, straight jackets notwithstanding. Sheila has begun sewing and must know the Claustrophilia claustrophobia trend. Besides, can't have any dangling threads getting caught in the machanical hand-driven machinery.

xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx

-- Leska (, December 14, 1998.

Leska, I think we should vote him as an honorary Your-done-ite. Clearly he's ready to throw off the "Ties" that bind.


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 14, 1998.

This just in!!

REDMOND, WA (API) --- MICROSOFT (MSFT) announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will be delayed until the second quarter of 1901.

-- Chris (, December 14, 1998.

Sheila, welcome! :)

Please make my uniform in chartreuse muslin (always liked how this fabric and color combination sounds), and please put the "ties" in the front, so I can wiggle out of it quickly in an emergency.

-- Chris (, December 14, 1998.

Hehehe, Chris, MSFT (More Sh** For The Fan) is vaporcom.

Diane, which faction will Prince Claus gravitate toward?

Your-Done-Ite Lite, or Your Descendents Done Too, headed by Infomagic?

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (, December 14, 1998.

Make that Your-done-Tie.

Awareness of Y-Tie-K is growing internationally. There IS hope, that we can all avoid this binding situation. Maybe our computers and utilities and Washington will all become untied too? (Not to be confused with unzipped).


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 14, 1998.

Can't be chartruese - too hard to misspell quickly.

Windows 1901, eh? Does that come with quick opening front ties too? (Neat idea, even if I have no idea what color the windows will be and wear they will be located once (twice ?) in the hot tub.) Interesting thoughts there. Do extra chartruese windows contribute to that population bomb planned up there prior to the invasion?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 14, 1998.


Can I please come 'out' of the Latrine now? With so many posts you all forgot about me, I have been on duty for days. My arms are tired. <<
-- consumer (, December 14, 1998.

omygod Consumer, was that you in there?! I saw funny shadows floating in there but thought it was the missing stealth rubber duckies...PEEEWWWW! go get washed!!

NOT IN THE HOT-TUB!!!!!! Use the a squirt bottle or something...

-- Chris (, December 14, 1998.

Robert, you need a job. Your mind is wandering too much. Your turn to clean the latrines. (The end of Consumer's post got eaten by a gnome...good thing too cuz he woulda gotten a flying fruitcake belonging to Gayla aimed at his head.)

-- Chris (, December 14, 1998.

I have 168 cans of pork and beans. Can I join?

-- Bill S. (, December 14, 1998.

168 cans? What about gas-x or beano?

-- Rob Michaels (, December 14, 1998.

Hey, I don't throw (or pitch) fruitcakes! (Don't eat them either!)

Rob, been meaning to ask you....Son of Dust.....any correlation to Ezekiel?

-- Gayla Dunbar (, December 15, 1998.

Great emergency in Warnham last night

"slinky brown cat" got lost, all of Friday Street was searching high and low in the dark in the outhouses and the hidden nooks and crannies. This is second cat emergency in about as many years, previous one (next door) had to call in the "police", they came, they called the fire brigade, the fire brigade called the police, they were both there. Policeman, woman, 5 Fire operatives, finally "got" the poor mog, his owner was unaware of the incident. The "catminder" came running to me it got locked in the next house, poor cat hadn't eaten for 3 days. I digress, the subject of the current contretemps is/was a foreign slender cat that was hated by the other English style fat mogs, however slinky couldn't give a damn about them, when challenged he just looked disdainfully on and completely ignored the other larger cats, that threw them completely

Thought someone was knocking on the door to complain about the noise (Chopin mazurkas).

The ducks had quietened down by that time.

-- Richard Dale (, December 15, 1998.


I'm can do on the chartruese muslin. (for one thing, I can't even spell do you expect me to sew on such a sickening color??) The Yordonite Yuniforms will be made of camoflauge muslin so the rank and file will be invisible to each other, and we will only show ourselves on a "need to see" basis. I hope this meets with your approval....


-- sheila (, December 15, 1998.

I still want chartreuse for my straight jac...uh yuniform. The color will match my complexion after eating the beans for so long. I'll be camouflaged better that way. I'll be able to show myself on a "need to see" basis by the smell I'll emanate. So get to work. First I want you to write down "chartreuse" 100 times. (no no not here...sheesh!)

Bill, welcome aboard! Store your cans of beans in that large pantry over there, and go back shopping for more.

o/~ Beans beans are good for the heart, the more you eat the more you...o/~

-- Chris (, December 15, 1998.

I am one of those people who have been lurking for the last 3/4 months, but thought that I may have something to contribute to this thread... First, as my contribution to the club, a COW, to go with your rubby ducks, Now we can have MILK and Quakers.... Also, I play the accordian and have been in a polka band, so bring on the music, so I can join in.

-- Carlie Scott (, December 15, 1998.

Gayla: In answer to your question: Yes. You got it.

-- Rob Michaels (, December 15, 1998.

:::Throws another log on to the fire, tending the flames as he listens to the conversation:::

-- Tim (, December 15, 1998.

Did he hit the chartruse duck with the log? Or did his goose duck and so not get caught by the cat? Can a goose duck? Can a duck goose you?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (, December 15, 1998.

"Your-Done-Ite Lite." ---Leska

OOk OOk...I volunteer to be the night-light. I'm da nitelite. I already have a TeleTubby screen in my tummy and you can wire a solar panel into my antenna. I'd get a charge out of that.

Sheesh...Is this really the most heavily posted thread on this forum...sigh


We are quite confident that all of our systems are Year 2000 Compliant. However, we have over a two year backlog of Year 2000 Compliance forms to fill out, so according to our scheduling database, you should hear back from us in June, 1900.

-- Hal-lite (, December 16, 1998.

Leska, The no Ties revolution spreads. The Prince Claus story just hit ABC World News Tonight with Peter Jennings. Awareness grows.


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 16, 1998.

Groan, Diane, yeah, saw it, and Jennings was such a smug twit about keeping his on! Wears his establishment badge with too much unthinking pride. Let the goose noose loose!
xxxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Leska (, December 16, 1998.

Richard You should get a life i have never seen a person that has nothing to do all day but think of stupid things to do. You are a loser and you have to depend on your family for support. Drinking and hanging out at bars to all hours of the night is not what a man with a wife and three children should be doing. You pretend to be something on the web but at home when you turn off the machine you are something else. A man with only a dream of self importance.

-- Randy (, December 16, 1998.

Randy you sure seem to have a lot of time on YOUR hands. All you do is sit around and criticize people all day. For someone who is SO intelligent, your "people skills" stink!

-- Heather (no@thanks.anyway), December 16, 1998.

Richard You should get a life i have never seen a person that has nothing to do all day but think of stupid things to do. You are a loser You pretend to be something on the web but at home when you turn off the machine you are something else. A man with only a dream of self importance.

It seems you've taken the suggestion seriously! You are the only one to take it out of context. I am using simple non-ironic language to ensure that you understand. Start a thread of your own, eg: technical or other contribution to the y2k debate, humour, verse or perhaps a creative, amusing idea of your own. Have you a sense of humour, have you anything to contribute, can you use your IQ, let us know, prove it.

-- Richard Dale (, December 17, 1998.

Yourdonites, c'est la guerre!!

Sisters and brothers, put on your chartreuse yuniforms and unite! We have been invaded by the trolls.

Round up the geese, deploy the fruitcakes. To arms with the stealth rubber duckies!

Here's the plan. We send our best geese and pound them with fruitcakes to smitherenes until the last one is gone. WE MUST take down this troll regime for the benefit of mankind!!!

And to wag-the-dog conspiracy theorists, just one thing. You can take over my leadership if you wish, but just get us rid of those trolls!!

-- Chris (, December 17, 1998.

Here I am at work reading what looks like an innocent post about grains..good thing my boss wasn't in the room. Good lord.

-- Lisa (holy@cow.eek), December 17, 1998.

Quick everyone!

Yourdonite Powers, Activate!

Form of...A Fruitcake.

-- Christine Maybe A. Newbie but not a troll (, December 17, 1998.

Oooh! Power Ranger Fruitcakes, now yer talkin'!

Guys, we need to talk.

(sigh...) I'm feeling very pessimistic lately. Things aren't going according to plan. I've just got some bad news from the Asylum Unit. Appears that Gayla has been a casualty of the trolls. We can't let the 'hood fall apart can we? The distrust they've sown among us, creeped in very slowly, so slowly that we didn't notice at first. Now we're all a bunch of paranoid fruitcake baskets, doubting each other's identity.

-- Chris (, December 18, 1998.

As I said, there are many people who like to conceal their identities or post under other names. The most strenuous means available must be used to hunt down these cunning infiltrators, who will no doubt be covering their tracks with the utmost skill and ability.


-- Chris (, December 18, 1998.


-- Leo (, December 18, 1998.

Doh! is right :-p

(aims her slingshot at Leo and hits him in the butt with a whiskey soaked fruitcake)

-- Chris (, December 18, 1998.

Nice of you to give them a taste of their own medicine.

-- Richard Dale (, December 18, 1998.

Troops: Remember to use the fiat fruitcakes first. We need to save the good stuff for the time when things really get out of hand, or out of slingshit, or out of catapult, or...

-- Rob Michaels (, December 18, 1998.

Of course. If we give THEM fiats, they'll spend half the time cursing at the vehicle and the other half cursing at the mechanic. Give `em logistical problems.

-- Leo (, December 18, 1998.


-- Chronos (, December 18, 1998.

How flat is a fiat fruitcake? Does it depend on how you slice it? If a truck runs over a fiat flutecake, do you get a piccolo or an obo? Or an oreo?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw GA) (, December 18, 1998.

By the way, do you know what is the name of the tenth reindeer?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw GA) (, December 20, 1998.

Robert A. Cook (PE)

>>By the way, do you know what is the name of the tenth reindeer?

Is it "Randolph"?


-- sweetolebob (La) (, December 20, 1998.

No, Olive.

I'm sure you've heard the song:


Olive, the other reindeer,

used to laugh and call him names...."

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw GA) (, December 21, 1998.

Robert A, Cook,P.E.;


Olive, the other reindeer,

used to laugh and call him names...."

Cool! Consider this one ripped off for unlimited use at my parties.

I had heard it was named Randolph. "When Santa wasn't looking the last reindeer ranned off".


-- sweetolebob (La) (, December 21, 1998.

That makes eleven of them suckers! You know why Rudy's nose is so red?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw GA) (, December 21, 1998.

Maybe we should just feed the trolls some of the fruitcakes, pat them on their fuzzy heads and send them back under their cozy bridges.

Yes, this is one of the most posted to threads. Illustrative of the need for Y2K comic relief. Taking ourselves lightly. Stand-up comics will be in great demand, like the mistrals of old, post Y2K.


-- Diane J. Squire (, December 21, 1998.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw GA)

>>You know why Rudy's nose is so red? <<

No. But I'm almost afraid to ask. - O.K. I can't take the pressure any longer. Inquiring minds just have to know. Why is it?

Other than because of the reflectivity of the pigmentation of the aforementioned nasal air intake/outlet, vent, temperature regulating, pressure equalization orifice.


-- sweetolebob (La) (, December 21, 1998.

Air resistance.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw GA) (, December 22, 1998.

ha...ha...ha SOB, I almost fell off my chair *yawn* ;)

Ok brothers and sisters, it is time for me to get mushy and emotional.

I wish everyone one of you ( yes including Richard, and those with whom I've had heated and/or nasty arguements, I do not hold grudges, except for Chitum, whom I hope will comit himself to a mental institution this year) a most happy and peaceful holiday. I wish us all a happy New Year, but more importantly, I wish us all that we're a bunch of fools as the Polyannas think we are, and that we've wasted our time and money to prepare because it will only be a bump in the road.

I'm signing off until January 3, going on a holiday and ski trip to my y2k retreat (and to stockpile it some more.)

Peace to all, and Merry Christmas

-- Chris (, December 22, 1998.

-- Chris

The very best to you and to yours Nurse Lady.

Enjoy the trip to your winter wonderland.

Type at you next year.


-- sweetolebob (La) (, December 22, 1998.

Serene Solstice, dear Chris. And to you all, best of luck in this freakazoid new year.


"Deck the halls with Boston Charlie. Wallah Wallah, Wash and Kalamazoo." ---Walt Kelly

-- Hallyx (, December 22, 1998.

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