This is so hard!greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
As you all know, my husband is a DGI. Won't change until it's personal. This is so hard preparing alone and in secret. It isn't worth it to bring it out in the open, because he will not believe any of it. But my obvious choice is not to let us get in trouble. I schlepped some shoes up to my mom's (thank God she gets it), in estimated size for my daughter in the year 2000. She's already keeping some clothing for me. My brother will hide water bottles until I'm ready to fill them. I'm just doing what I can. We won't have much money if TSHTF, but we'll eat and stay warm for awhile.
Sorry, just had to vent. This is hard.
-- margie mason (email@example.com), December 06, 1998
Hang in there Margie, it won't be long now! Leave some of the downloaded key newsmedia articles lying around on your coffee table.
-- Diane J. Squire (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 06, 1998.
Hang in there Margie !!
Since you are obviously a GI you are light years ahead of most of the population.
A very seldom discussed aspect of the coming problems is mental preparedness. You know and believe. This is the entrance price to the survival race. Hang on to you belief and try as best as you can to make the physical preps.
It IS hard.
LIFE is hard.
It's not likely to get easier any time soon.
Stay at it, hubby with be a GI one day soon and the two of you together will be much stronger due to your experience dealing with the struggle.
NEVER GIVE UP.
Sorry to shout, but that can't be said loud enough or often enough.
-- Greybear (email@example.com), December 06, 1998.
Margie, I've been there. Hubby was gearing up to send me to a psychiatric ward if I even mentioned y2k again. How I delt with that response? I said "don't bother, I'm leaving and taking the kids with me. Go ahead and fight me on this, I'll win because I'm the one who's most responsible in this. I'm not going to sit around doing nothing and jeapardize our kid's future, even possibly thier lives." I started making preparations actively after this. He didn't stop me. I even bought a small y2k retreat, wasn't too hard to sell it to him since it can also be used as our vacation home.
My point is, what is your priority Margie? Stand up for yourself. The rest will follow.
-- Chris (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 06, 1998.
um..Margie..I'm having pangs of guilt now..I didn't mean to sound so harsh, I understand you feel terrible at the moment. But my point is, you really do have to make harsh decisions and find out what's most important in your life, then do whatever it takes. In my case, a threat did it. I just get all bent out of shape when I see women struggling and being afraid to stand up to thier men for their own wellfare.
Hang in there.
-- Chris (email@example.com), December 06, 1998.
DON'T STOP!! I am blessed with a wife who understands, to a point, and i'm stretching that every day.
He WILL turn around!
FAITH and a couple of prayers might help.
I know you have mine
-- Chuck a night driver (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 06, 1998.
Margie - Hang in there. All your efforts will pay off in the long run. Most likely, he'll turn around in a couple of months anyway.
On the bright side, you might not need money. Bartering seems to be the believed purchasing power post-Y2K (on this forum, anyway). Keep up the chipmunk stashing and you'll be one of the wealthiest people around. Certainly your children are not lacking of a loving parent, and should consider themselves wealthy already.
My prayers are with you.
-- Christine A. Newbie (email@example.com), December 06, 1998.
Margie: It is indeed hard when one partner gets it and the other doesn't. There are many here who have been through this, including myself. Mrs. Rimmer was a 'DGI' for quite a while and it put quite a strain on our relationship.
Catsy and Madeline posted on this back in October and I responded with how I was eventually able to enlist Mrs. Rimmer's participation. ( see Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus...revisited )
I don't claim that what worked for me will work for you. I just wanted you to know that the situation you describe has been shared by many here.
We all wish you well and urge you to keep preparing in whatever ways you can. You're not crazy to be concerned and you're not the only one fighting this battle with their domestic partner.
-- Arnie Rimmer (Arnie_Rimmer@usa.net), December 07, 1998.
We're rooting for you in that tough GI/DGI situation.
-- No Spam Please (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 07, 1998.
Margie, Hang in there. Like another poster said, leave "stuff" laying around innocently. We were trying to convince one of my husband's brothers and he just wouldn't GI. Finally out of the blue, one day we get this email asking for information on how to can food, how to store food, how to make candles, store water, etc.! One of the articles I had sent him (I deluged his email with articles LOL) had sunk in. They are now preparing finally. Never give up. You would be surprised at what might spark that tiny flame in his mind and cause him to GI suddenly. Bobbi +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ "It's fun to do the impossible" ---Walt Disney--- +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Y2k? http://www.buzzbyte.com/ Got water? Got Beans? Take the Y2k Preparation Quiz!
-- Bobbi (email@example.com), December 07, 1998.
Just another voice here, piping in with a been there, done that sort of song. My hubby, too, was ready to send me off to the funny farm, and I had to stop talking about it to him for a while because it was causing a lot of tension between us. Then, one day....
He asked one of the guys from his regional office about it, and they told him they were working on it day & night, etc., etc...
Seems like it had to come from a "peer" to be true. I try not to take it personally.
What does your husband do for a living? What are his interests? Who does he look up to?
-- Arewyn (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 07, 1998.
To all, to all, thanks. I needed that. Chris, I don't understand those women either. I can't do the ultimatum thing because we're talking probablilities. Sure, we agree they're strong, but they are ones that do not compute with him. Can you really, really guarantee we're right? He has instincts, too. So, I'm biding my time and hope he gets it in time to shore us up a little bit.
Arewyn, He's a retail store manager. He looks up to the corporate types. Until one of them hints at a problem, he won't get it. I've tried hitting him in the ol' supply chain, but he won't bite.
I just hope something significant rears its ugly head soon. I'll exhale then.
Thanks again everyone. I was beginning to think my measly contributions were just a firehose on a 3-alarm fire. Hell, they might be. But I'm trying.
-- margie mason (email@example.com), December 07, 1998.
Margie: I'm completely unqualified to comment; however, that has never stopped Dr. Laura, Peter Jennings (did you know that he is a high school dropout?), Mr Koskinen or Bill Clinton.
There are times when you must allow people to fail. For some, it is the only way they learn - and some never learn from the failure.
The mighty roar of silence. If you want someone to really listen - speak in a whisper. If you want someone's respect and attention - ignore them. Make them come to you. Remember that you are the smart one in this relationship.
-- PNG (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 07, 1998.
Don't be so hard on high school drop-outs PNG, many drop out because the highschool can't provide challenging enough courses to those students, but they go on to universities anyway. I know quiet a few.
-- Chris (email@example.com), December 07, 1998.
It was very affirming for me to read your post and the rest of the thread. My husband is also a DGI, but very "tolerent" of my views. As long as I don't "waste" money on things we'll never need he's okay. (And he's always wanted a generator so that was an easy one!) He's a programmer and truly beleives that we will have only minimal problems. Meanwhile, I'm filling those 2 liter bottles and storing them under the basement stairs, buying lots and lots of rice and beans, stocking up on TP, Tang, Hot Chocolate, Tuna, peanut butter, cleaning stuff and anything else we might need *anyway*. I'm also squirrling away a couple of bucks a week and hiding it in the attic. And, I'm talking him into upgrading our camping equipment. I'll also do some experiments this winter to determine if any of the crawl spaces we have under our porches can be used for refrigeration (or only for freezing!). By next year this time we should have enough to get us through the summer. And if nothing happens, I'll be able to go for months without buying groceries!
It's very frustrating to work as "one" when we always work together but, a little at a time using my all of my wifely wiles will hopefully keep us warm and happy next winter. Keep the faith!
-- Gail (~~~~~~@~~~~~.com), December 07, 1998.
Glad you could get comfort with all these posts Margie, I'm getting comfort reading them myself!
"Sure, we agree they're strong, but they are ones that do not compute with him. Can you really, really guarantee we're right?"
Read again what you just said here. That's the point I'm trying to make with my husband who doesn't think things will be as bad I as fear they will. "Can you really, really guarantee I'm wrong?" Try asking him that. If he says no, then why shouldn't you be stockpiling?
-- Chris (firstname.lastname@example.org), December 07, 1998.