Utne Reader Response 1

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This is my Utne Reader Response

-- Anonymous, November 11, 1998

Answers

Erin Marsman's UTNE Reader Response

asked in the MEd Cohort III Q&A Forum

Erin Marsman Utne Reader Response

I read the article titled ^SThe Way of the Hypocrite^T. The article was about adultery ^S the upside^T, ^Show to make adultery work-for all of us^T. These little phrases caught my attention. One of the men quoted in the article believed that you shouldn^Rt tell and people shouldn^Rt ask about affairs even to their significant other. He said that it^Rs a reality that people commit adultery and that it is better for all involved if the couples stay together for a variety of reasons. My belief would be aren^Rt those reasons you should stay together and not tell also the reasons why you should not commit adultery in the first place so that your marriage will stay together? I have a hard time with this writers point of view. The article discussed how society used to try to cover up affairs but now it seems that every one is having one. It stated that society is getting desensitized to the idea of adultery. I agree. There is no consequence for having an affair. I think that now and days people tend to get married to quickly with out really knowing their partner. I also think that it is almost to easy to get a divorce. People don^Rt have the same commitment to marriage as they used to, plus it is easier and more accepted to get divorced. To me the article came across as saying that you should not expect people to be faithful because it is not going to happen. I also have a hard time with this message. Maybe it^Rs naivete or maybe it^Rs wishful thinking but I do believe that people can be faithful to one another if they choose to be so. It takes a lot of work no doubt but I am one who believe it can happen.

Asked by Mary Jean Menzel (mmenzel@d.umn.edu) on November 09, 1998.

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-- Anonymous, November 11, 1998


I also agree with the fact that people jump into relationship too quickly...leading to marriages that may not should have happened in the first place. I also do not feel that society places enough value on marriage vows, therefore, people do not see the need to work through hard times together. We are a culture of immediacy...we have to have everything that we want immediately, without having to struggle and actually earn the reward. This clearly shows as a problem in marriages. Couples can easier commit adultery to satisfy their needs than to work on communication with their partner and work the problems out. It is sad to see such a negative concept grab such a strong hold of such a vulnerable society. Somehow, we need to change the attitude of society, or why on Earth would we even need to have marriages if they don't stand for anything anyway? Cindy

-- Anonymous, November 16, 1998

I agree with Erin's idea of desensitization. I believe our culture has an "anything goes" attitude which leaves us thinking that there is a huge grey area between right and wrong. Although we must be careful not to be too judgemental, I think we would do well to encourage self-restraint and delayed gratification in our society. The media especially seems to scream at us to live for the moment and put our immediate wants and needs above all else. Unfortunately, things that are lasting and worthwhile, often require us to practice patience and discipline.

-- Anonymous, November 17, 1998

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