There was a young lady called Diane/ Who believed in a world Arcadian/ Where strife was unknown/ The seeds of happiness were sown/ And everyone loved their fellow man/ //// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who communed with otherworld beings quite elvan/ On a Midsummers Night/ She was often seen in flight/ Proving she was more that just another mere human/ /// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who was not afraid of the millennium bogeyman/ She faced him fearless and true/ She speared him right through/ She was a veritable brave daring superwoman/ /// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who thought the millennium a puzzle araucarian/ Until a child of just eight/ Showed her how to change the date/ To solve it you don't have to be a mathematician/ /// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who was never known to be a severe machiavellian/ Until deedah came on the scene/ When he rudely intervened/ And drove her from her dreamworld paradisean/ /// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who never thought Y 2 Kay a task herculean/ It was really just a breeze/ We would get through it with ease/ She would be first past the postmillennarian/ /// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who had the shell of a large crustacean/ The insults did not her deter/ From posting again with vigour/ Until she became a true De Yourdon veteran/ /// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who shrugged off the reports of the y2k weatherman/ In 2000 it'll be fine/ I'll be sitting in the sunshine/ I'll have no need of a dark shelter subterranean/ /// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who believed in a world cornucopian/ They'd be enough for all/ Everyone would walk tall/ As long as we voted for the Democratic partisan/ /// There was a young lady called Diane/ Who took a holiday in the sunny Mediterranean/ In 2 K she was away/ She never saw that fateful day/ And just laughed at the disaster AllAmerican/

-- Richard Dale (rdale@figroup.co.uk), November 04, 1998

Answers

Just thought I'd bring it to the top of the answer list (risking the wrath of PNG!). Couldn't resist a second go....

-- Richard Dale (rdale@figroup.co.uk), November 04, 1998.

Richard,

I'm impressed.

Let me offer some editing.

/ Where strife was unknown (5 syllables) / The seeds of happiness were sown => Happiness seeds, sown

/ There was a young lady called Diane (8-9) / Who communed with otherworld beings quite elvan => Who communed with beings quite elvan (9)

/ On a Midsummers Night (6) / She was often seen in flight => She was oft seen in flight

/ Proving she was more that just another mere human => Proving her more than just mere human (9)

/ Who was not afraid of the millennium bogeyman => Feared not millenium bogeyman (8-10)

/ She faced him fearless and true => Faced him fearless, true

/ She speared him right through => And speared him right thru

/ She was a veritable brave daring superwoman => She's a brave daring superwoman (9) or => She's a veritable superwoman (9-10)

/ Who thought the millennium a puzzle araucarian

Richard, I looked up "araucarian" (and "araucanian"). Are you _sure_ you didn't mean "arcane"?

-- No Spam Please (anon@ymous.com), November 04, 1998.

No wrath Richard! But you are hereby sentenced to one week on Craggy Island with Father Ted, Father Jack and Father Dougal.

"DRINK!"

-- PNG (png@gol.com), November 04, 1998.

And I repeat, Richard,

If you'd find more ways to help this world rather than attack me, I, and others would be more impressed with your actions.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), November 05, 1998.

Wow, did you feel attacked, Diane? I thought Sir Richard's limerick tome was endearing and not attacking at all.....I've sort of personally caricatured me as the Sheeted-One ranting on the hill...comrade posters here have picked that up...makes me feel known.... Your feelings are of course not right or wrong...I just didn't hear hostile tone in his efforts....

Hang in there...I think of your very organic self-sufficient ways and words with fondness...

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), November 05, 1998.

Me? I'm a little more metal-physical myself, but each to her own size screwdriver and pair of pliers.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), November 05, 1998.

And I repeat, Richard, If you'd find more ways to help this world rather than attack me, I, and others would be more impressed with your actions.

Diane

There are a number of things wrong with this statement. You haven't repeated anything since I haven't seen the original. You do not know what I have done for y2k or the world or others so YOU ARE NOT IN A POSITION TO JUDGE. When you refer to "others", just who are they, please let me have their names. Your statement is therefore based on prejudice. The only thing that is pertinent is the assertion that you are unimpressed with my "attack" on you, effectively a counter attack.

You obviously have no sense of humour and can't take a gentle ribbing. This is often a sign of a brittle personality, but I do not know whether it applies in your case.

I have done plenty to help prevent a y2k debacle in the course of my work, since this is a y2k forum, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.

-- Richard Dale (rdale@figroup.co.uk), November 06, 1998.

I feel Diane III coming on, it will be a magnum opus. Question is was Alien III better than Alien II.

-- Richard Dale (rdale@figroup.co.uk), November 06, 1998.

Diane what about There was a young or old? man called Dale

by Diane, Sacred Spaces, Squire

I can't wait.....

-- Richard Dale (rdale@figroup.co.uk), November 06, 1998.

Anon thanks publicly for the lesson in metre, I need to improve on that. I do too much tinkering around with the lines. Araucaria is the monkey puzzle tree brought over to the UK by the Victorians. Is also the pseudonym of a crossword compiler.

-- Richard Dale (rdale@figroup.co.uk), November 06, 1998.