People:

I have some questions concerning a matter of extreme importance to one and all. Suspend all logic and come stand on the dark side of the moon for a moment.

In amongst my musings about y2k I posed the following questions to my family and I now ask them of you. (The family says that, "you are as full of crap as a Christmas turkey" - eldest daughter, "they gave you too much nite-nite gas during the operations" - youngest daughter, and "you been head dropped" - wife spouse. I'll leave the decision to y'all.

Questions:

1. If y2k amounts to no more than "a f*art in a hurricane", and a majority of the computers around the world go to a date of 1900, as I understand it my age will become -39. That's cool. My eldest becomes -65. Does this not then indicate that we will become the only generation in the history of mankind on this planet to be younger than our children?

2. If the above is correct then do we have to let them run the joint just because they are more mature (older) than us?

3. If it is true - Do we really have to go back to the RTC system that we now have? I'd kind of like being younger than my kiddies.

4. If y2k is as bad as I think it will be (very) then obviously all of the above is moot at best. But wouldn't you all really like to have your young'ins older than you are even if just for little while?

But then - on the other hand there's four fingers and a thumb.

Y'all needed a little break after all of the serious stuff going on. Remember - you gotta go slow and breathe through your nose once in a while. And smile - it makes people wonder just what the h*ell you know that they don't.

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (buffgun@hotmail.com), October 22, 1998

Answers

S.O.B.:

1. Sorry, but -35 is greater than -65. You'd still be older! (BTW, never f*rt in a hurricane! A backdraft could be deadly!)

2. Let them be in charge for a while, it's not as much fun as I thought it would be when I was a kid.

3. It's not true, you will have to lie about your age...

4. Yes. That would make them old'ins!

-- Mike (gartner@execpc.com), October 22, 1998.

If it suddenly becomes 1900, won't we all just dissappear since we haven't been born yet? Or is this a node in the space-time continuum that creates a parallel universe?

-- Buddy Y. (DC) (buddy@bellatlantic.net), October 22, 1998.

Hey, mine already "think" they are older than me now, sounds good to me. Perhaps I really am still "just a twinkle in my daddy's eye's?

-- carrie (private@aol.com), October 22, 1998.

Buddy, you got it! A parallel negative universe, so therefore, it would be the inverse of what we have now...NIRVANA!

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), October 22, 1998.

"If it suddenly becomes 1900, won't we all just dissappear since we haven't been born yet? Or is this a node in the space-time continuum that creates a parallel universe? "

Well techically speaking, the paradox would be immense and probably cause a rift in time/space. As the vast majority of people alive today would disappear (anyone over 100 would stay) thus creating a paradox in we were not here to create the circumstances to cause the said paradox in the first place. You would get caught in a never ending time loop resluting in the year never passing 2000

Rick (Me thinks I watch too much Star Trek)

-- Rick Tansun (ricktansun@hotmail.com), October 22, 1998.

Ooooh...imagine. I don't have to be the one to worry about paying the mortgage et. al., or if the laundry is done, the meals cooked, the appoitnments kept, the house in good repair. What would I do with my self? Play football and let someone ELSE do all that stuff? (I have sons, can you tell?) SIGN ME UP! In fact, I think, since every group has a "Day" to celebrate, I think we should lobby for a "Grown Ups Day" when we can all act anything-but. Once a year. I would get years younger WITHOUT Y2k!!

Thanks, SOB, although that f*rt in a hurricane thing still has me worried! :-)

-- Melissa (financed@forbin.com), October 22, 1998.

F*rting (for lack of a better word) in a hurricane is only a problem for those who sniff at 110 miles per hour.

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@twiceshy.com), October 23, 1998.

F*rting in a hurricane is only a problem for those downwind who can smell at 110 MPH.

This minus sign thing still troubles me .... what happens to our good friend in the lands of OZ and NZ? What will they do when the equator unscrews because the hurricane is blowing the wrong way? Right way?

H**l, the other way?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (cook.r@csaatl.com), October 23, 1998.

Let's just do this century over again! Skip the WW's, Depression, 70's, etc... Kind of a "Groundhog Day" solution to y2k.

-- Bill (bill@microsoft.com), October 23, 1998.

Well skipping the 70's in my opinion would be worth ALL of it!:)

Rick (Never did MASTER "The Hustle")

-- Rick Tansun (ricktansun@hotmail.com), October 23, 1998.

Skip the 70's!

What, and miss the Village People? Surely not.

-- Craig (craig@ccinet.ab.ca), October 23, 1998.

AHHH the 70's. Disco, and Saturday nite fever. AHHH relish the memories. Donna Summer Gloria Gaynor put it best "I will survive"

-- me again (private@aol.com), October 23, 1998.

Alright already, let's get serious here folks!!!

How do you control this negative universe to hit the mini-skirt era, but skip the the macroskirts. I want dibs on disco and swing, but you can pass up rockabilly and late 60's rock. The forties were okay for dancing, but those clothes keep getting in the way of other pleasureable pursuits...

And I really, really, don't want to return to the 50's and forties swimsuits....for the girls anyway. Us guy folks have never changed swim suit styles. Or any other style things, for that matter.

Who's driving this thing anyway?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (cook.r@csaatl.com), October 23, 1998.

If you're driving an old PC you'll actually go back to 1/1/80 so you won't get to relive the 70s.

>You would get caught in a never ending time loop resluting in the year never passing 2000

Rick (Me thinks I watch too much Star Trek)

Hey, Rick, does that mean we end up in that place where Kirk went? What was it called, the "nexus?"

-- Buddy Y. (DC) (buddy@bellatlantic.net), October 23, 1998.