(Reuterz) As the year 2000 approaches, new concerns have been raised about medical conditions that may prove more dangerous than the "millenium bug" itself.

At their annual PMS conference in Detroit, medical professionals confronting this latest issue: PMS. Doctors are especially concerned about the litigation nightmare presented by possible misdiagnosis. As one doctor stated, "Families will be subjected to long periods of time together, in difficult conditions. PMS will only complicate an already difficult situation. We can't be held responsible if people get hurt. We can't diagnose every woman's condition as to their volatility."

Panel members fielded questions about increased malpractice insurance premiums. As the stress of the upcoming year 2000 "bug" approaches, more and more women will succumb to the pressures. Husbands, angry and facing possible loss of employment and income, will be tempted to sue their wive's physicians for their injuries.

Concerns were also raised about the food women will be forced to feed their families during the crisis, and the possible rejection the women will face when told the evening meal tastes like "warm cardboard". Doctors are asking husbands to build locking storage cabinets to hold heavy objects that could be airborne during the duration of the crisis.

There was a glimmer of hope, however. Dr. Alan Goodknight, renowned for his research with women having 4 children under the age of 5 stated, "The Creator designed PMS so that men would go hunting. The year 2000 may turn the clock back to the point where nature intended marriage relationships to be."

-- Pastor Chris (pastorchris@lifetel.com), August 27, 1998

Answers

I am sitting here wondering, hoping even, that your tongues is planted firmly in your cheek about this post. PMS??? Marriage back where it is supposed to be? Just when I thought I had seen everything silly in the goofy world, I get a surprise.

ROFLMAO

Dang,... and here I thought that PMS was "putting up with men's Schizz".

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), August 27, 1998.

What is this bogus report? Where did it come from? Site your source!!! What group or "medical professionals" was meeting? Not only does everyone have to deal with the spread of rumors and misinformation, but now you are introducing a men vs. women issue? Come on, are you really a Pastor?

-- Buddy Y. (buddy@bellatlantic.net), August 27, 1998.

Pastor Chris,

My joking definition of PMS for more than a year now has been

"pre- MILLENIAL syndrome." It seems to fit just as well... .

LPL

-- Lee P. Lapin (lplapin@hotmail.com), August 27, 1998.

Sad. Not funny. Demeaning. Did you really think that people would find this even mildly amusing? This tripe is disappointing - we've come to expect better from you.

-- Chana Campos (chana@campos.org), August 27, 1998.

Yeah, really!! This kind of stuff we can hear on Geraldo, or worse yet, on the evening news with Dan Rather. I'm disappointed Pastor Chris, but if you confess your guilt and apologize to the American public, I myself will move on to something else. Now THIS is inappropriate behavior! :):)

-- Dave (dave22@concentric.net), August 28, 1998.

What I'm worried about is what happens when men run out of liquor?

-- Amy Leone (aleone@amp.com), August 28, 1998.

Amy, men go hunting when they run out of liquor.

-- Dave (dave22@concentric.net), August 28, 1998.

Maybe including a still in your plans is in order.

-- Buddy (buddy@bellatlantic.net), August 28, 1998.

I've noticed the absence of the Pastor Chris,...the originator of this post....It is interesting to me.

You out there Pastor Chris,...got your ears on good buddy? Come back.

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), August 30, 1998.

You don't go hunting for liquor, you have to brew it/fermet it.

By the way, any old WWII vets out know a good recipe for "jungle juice" from raisens (sp?) and grape juice?

-- Robert a. Cook, P.E. (cook.r@csaatl.com), August 31, 1998.

Don't drink the stuff with raisins. Really. Remember. no med care out there.

As for PMS, if it's THAT severe, get it treated before the big day. If it's not, a little consideration, a hot cup of tea, and a warm bath (if possible) should help.

If this is a joke then I'm groaning on the floor. If not, Pastor Chris, then we NEED to talk about the whole man/woman thing!

Annie O'Dea

-- Annie O'Dea (tarotmaid@yahoo.com), September 02, 1998.

Thanks to all who took the bait with this post. I read hundreds of articles and posts every week and thought I'd depart from the normal gloomy fare and take a shot at humor.

I apologize to any who thought it beneath my normal ramblings, and even inconsiderate. I've lived with four women and a female dog, so these topics are common around my home and we joke about it all the time.

Blessings to all!

-- Pastor Chris (pastorchris@lifetel.com), September 04, 1998.

How are you going to get a hot bath???

Which is/was harder to live with? The ladies or the dogs? Which was/is more expensive? Was this a multi-tasking operating system or linear (one at a time) programming/timing? How did you solve the interferences and interfaces?

So if raisens (I really NEED a spell-checker on this !@#$%^&*( thing) aren't good for you, how can you use them before they hurt you? How long can beer stay good if canned? If freeze-dried?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (cook.r@csaatl.com), September 04, 1998.

Robert

Beer will not last long enough to count on storing some for post Y2K. I've never heard of freeze dried beer. (are you goofing on me?)

Uncle Deedah would find it a sad state of affairs to be stuck in a no beer future, and has learned to make his own. However, I do not look forward to the task of learning to like it served in the British tradition ;)

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@twiceshy.com), September 04, 1998.

My freeze dried beer will be stored next to my dihydrogen oxide and hydrated raisens, and the spell checker for this thing.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (cook.r@csaatl.com), September 05, 1998.

Uncle Deedah, get yourself a bottle of Bass Pale Ale and cool it to (root) cellar temperature. Pour it into a glass, let it sit for a moment, then drink. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

-- Max Dixon (Max.Dixon@gte.net), September 07, 1998.