Are there other government definitions? http://www.LegalNews.Net/

-- Chug Roberts (chugRoberts@LegalNews.Net), August 19, 1998

Answers

FRENCH BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALIST-ADMINISTERED CAPITALISM

You have two cows. The government considers them production tools and taxes them at 16% of their rentable value calculated as 10% of their non-amortised cost price irrespective of depreciation. They are then additionally declared part of your patrimony and taxed at 0.5% filet steak price per kilo of cow at date of acquisition if this was before 16th October 1903 and 0.2% if it was after 14h30 on 10 May 1992. The milk is untaxed until sold but is subject to a solidarity contribution of 9.5% of its value at normalised 1989 rates on the first 300 litres and 16.2% of total production value at normalised 1995 rates thereafter irrespective of sales. 26.5% of the solidarity contribution is tax-deductible and is collected by the tax office, the remaining 73.5% are added onto your state medical insurance contribution, which is based on your pre-tax profit last year incremented by the deductible 25.832% from that year plus the non-deductible part from the previous year, which was calculated using a different rate. The amounts due are based on estimated production from January to following January based on your production two years previously multiplied up by a coefficient that varies from year to year, and are payable in 3-monthly installments from March to following March, but for deductibility purposes an 18-month period may optionally be taken into consideration in case of drought, unless you employ an unqualified school-leaver in which case a variable period may be used of up to 16.32 months during any 23 months predating date of hire. The bill for medical insurance includes these figures without giving details of the breakdown, which you need in order to fill out your tax returns.

You move to Provence, cultivate hemp and smoke the leaves until tax day, at which point you make a rope and hang yourself. Your relict receives a bill for death duties based on the street value of the rope.

-- John Ewing (ewing@easynet.fr), September 06, 1998.

Rawlsian Justicism-

You have two cows. You are only allowed to milk them as long as it aids the less fortunate of the two...You sell the less fortunate cow.

-- Kevin Timm (Kevin.Timm@celebration.fl.us), April 19, 2000.

Angry Farmer John: The chicken didn't want to cross the road. He was pushed across by those two damn cows!

-- Calvin (Calvin@aol.com), April 19, 2000.