I was raped 3 1/2 years ago on x-mas by my futrue brother-in-law. I was wondering if anyone how any ideas how I could put it behind me and move on with my life.

-- Jennifer (Brat@warwick.net), July 04, 1997

Answers

Rape Recovery

Hello Jennifer, What you've been through must have been awful. You show a great deal of strength to be able to even say the words or write them. So, you are already getting past it. I think one of the things that seems to work well with survivors of all kinds of truama is to remember that it is over. The event has happenED past tense. Another simple idea that often can be helpful is to think of your feelings and all of those emotions as water, like an ocean or a river. Your feelings are there, trying to push them down will not work, just like tryijng to push the ocean down if you are in the middle. It makes much more snese to acknowledge that you are in the water, and surf or float, don't fight them. You may remember when you first learned to swim, often a swimming teacher will say, "don't fight it, relax, trust the water to hold you up." Emotions are like this. Huge emotions can leave us feeling as though we are drowning, if we can simply allow them to be there, trust that they will flow over and be done, that you will again be able to breathe, then they seem to quiet down much sooner. So, trust yourself, know that you will not drown in your feelings. The more you allow them to wash over you and be done, the sooner you will be albe to get on with having the usual, every day type of feelings and not the huge ones brought on by trauma.

I hope this rings true with you and anyone else who may be reading this.

Keep up the good work!

-- Mira (answerswithin@worldaccessnet.com), July 04, 1997.

Hi,

I was molsted by my brother to, But my brother is still free. Because,its my brother.......

Carol Veenema. The netherlands

-- Carol Veenema (veenema9@wxs.nl), November 26, 1997.