Can Catholic marry non-Catholic in church? : LUSENET : Catholic : One Thread


I'm catholic (not super practicing, i.e i don't go to church more than 10-20 times a year or so, but believe in God and was brought up in Catholic family, went to mass every week till about age 20, was baptised, confirmed. My future husband isn't religious at all, though he has no objections to a church wedding.

We have to marry quickly for legal reasons (my visa runs out) and will do a quick civil ceremony for now, but next year we'd like to return to my home in Italy and do a church wedding in the church I attended as a child. We'd already be legally married, but for me it's significant to have a religious ceremony.

Is this possible? And if yes what are the requirements?

Many thanks!


-- maria bellini (, March 13, 2003


Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?

Why? Are you from a small village?

-- Jane (, March 13, 2003.

Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?

My case was the same - I married civilly, then in a church (1 year after) and now I love another man who wants to divorce (like me) so that we could get together and live as we want to -happily! Do you think the church will give us this wonderful opportunity? I know that some papers would need to be done but we will do all to get them!

-- Tina (, March 13, 2003.

Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?


Good heavens! My head is spinning from these four messages. Sorry that I do not have time to reply in detail. I will just answer each of you extremely briefly. (Maybe another Catholic will come in after me and add details.)

1. To Maria Bellini:
(a) Get back to Sunday Mass every week. Every time you miss, it's a mortal sin.
(b) You cannot receive Communion until you go to Confession.
(c) You cannot go through a "civil ceremony" without the local bishop's permission -- and only after a period of formal preparation (usually six months).
(d) Please go back to Italy alone, ask God and your patron saints to help you become a fervent Catholic, and wait for the day you can get married in Church with your bishop's blessing.

2. To Barry:
You started to give Maria good advice, but then you told her to try to get away with sinning, if she lacked will power. That was wrong!

3. To Tina:
Get the other guy out of your life. Be faithful to your husband. Forget about divorce. Save your marriage. Please God. Don't sin.

4. To Sonia:
A wedding of two Catholics almost always must be in church. I don't know what you are talking about when you mention "singing." People getting married in church are not forced to "sing."

God bless you all.

-- J. F. Gecik (, March 14, 2003.

Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?

Whatever happened to until death do us part? I understand that there are reasons that people can't stay together, of this I am not naive...but these posts make marriage look like shopping for shoes. No priest is going to allow you to marry a spouse in the Church if you aren't going to make an effort to be part of the Body of Christ! The Church community and most especially, Jesus, take marriage very seriously. Please remember that Marriage is a sacrament! The vows exchanged by the couple makes the couple the sacramental ministers. Priests bless marriages, they don't marry (except for the Eastern rite) couples. Remember, marriage cannot fulfill all needs and it cannot solve all problems. If you expect it to, you could end up feeling that your partner has failed and cheated you. Any expectation that marriage is a "problem solver" is quite unrealistic. Marriage is a covenant between 2 spouses and God. Vocation to marriage entails much sacrifice. Self giving, like Christ to the world, married people are called to lay down their lives like Christ did for us. Marriage tells us about the love that God has for his people. Rushing into marriage without understanding the importance of the sacrament and missing the opportunity to envite Christ to your wedding "at Cana" misses the point that Christ wanted to make about marriage. Let us all pray for Marriages especially those that struggle.

-- patrick farley (, March 15, 2003.

Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?


-- <>< (, March 16, 2003.

Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?


Uh-oh! Three or four new quick posts again. Quick answers coming now ...

To Tracy:
If both of you have always been unmarried, you need no "annulment" (properly called Declaration of Nullity). Such a declaration is an official Catholic marriage court's ruling, given to a divorced couple, that their apparent marital union was actually null and void -- i.e., that they never really were married in God's eyes.
Tracy, I'm not going to nag you, but you need to realize that you have a serious obligation, under pain of deadly sin, to attend Mass on every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation.

To Albert:
No need for a Declaration of Nullity if you never had other spouse(s) in the past. Just speak to your Catholic pastor and he will help you to make your current "union" a sacramental marriage.

To Martin:
You said that you'd "never ask" these questions of "a priest."
I'm sorry, but you will have to do that. Please have your "new wife" call the rectory of her parish and arrange a meeting between you and the pastor. You will not be forced to return to the practice of the faith, though that would be an excellent thing to do. The priest and you will work together to determine whether the Church's marriage court (tribunal) can grant you a Declaration of Nullity, which would make it possible for you to marry the woman you love (who is not yet your wife, in God's eyes). Depending on the circumstances of your original "marriage" (and other factors) the Nullity process may take anywhere from several weeks to more than a year. A Nullity process does not "cost" an amount, but there is a suggested donation -- waived, for those who cannot afford it. (You can afford it if you have a computer and Internet service.)

God bless you all.

-- J. F. Gecik (, March 16, 2003.

Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?

Hello, folks. Thank you for trusting me. (I even thank the people who have made fun of me!) When I reply, I prefer to use the official term, "Declaration of Nullity," rather than "annulment."

To Adrianne:
I assume that you are Catholic and that either you or your friend (or both) are divorced from someone else. Before you can marry validly in God's eyes, you both must be free to marry. But without a Declaration of Nullity (or the death of the divorced spouse), a divorced person is not free to marry. Please work with your Catholic pastor to seek the required Declaration(s) of Nullity. You said that you "have no time now to" do this. But you must do it, or you would not be married in God's eyes; instead you would entering into an adulterous relationship.

To Beatric:
These questions are not "stupid." They are among the most important questions of these people's lives. They have a bearing on the salvation of their souls. Beatric, you voiced your comment in the fom of a question ("Is there any stupid question John would not go to answer?"). Maybe you need to think about whether your question is "stupid."

Tina, you wrote: "No way, ... [John] will go for all of them. All fool's hope, this man!"

No, I won't "go for all of them." For example, I won't "go for" a question from you unless you apologize first.

Piera, thanks for your love! I love you too.

To Eva:
"Were you married once before (to a different man), or was your husband married once before (to a different woman)? If not, then you do not need a Declaration of Nullity at all -- but only the Church's "blessing" (convalidation) of your marriage. But if one (or both) of you were married previously, you would first need a Declaration of Nullity (for each previous "marriage") from the Catholic Church before you could be "married in the church" (i.e., in the eyes of God). Be at peace. The Church cannot "cancel" your union. Pray with confidence and acceptance of God's will.

God bless you.

-- J. F. Gecik (, March 17, 2003.

Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?

Beatrice, you were right!

-- Tina (, March 17, 2003.

Response to Can catholic marry non catholic in church?

I have this question for you - Can a catholic marry in a catholic church without an annulment first? I'm from ortodoxe church. Thanks in advance for your answer!

-- Lena Smirkovskaya (, March 18, 2003.

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