Dear Gill,

I`m shy and find it hard to make friends. I don`t feel have anything really important to say and think that people won`t want to listen to me when I talk. Everyone seems to have really interesting lives, but I don`t and often find myself lost for words. My job is boring, I`ve never been abroad and I don`t have any hobbies to speak of. This may all sound really pathetic to you, but I don`t seem to have much going for me. I`m not depressed or anything, I just feel really insignificant. Could counselling help me?

Sue

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2002

Answers

Dear Sue

Thanks for writing to me. You say you are shy so well done(!) for taking the decision to write to someone and tell them how you are feeling.I am sorry you feel your life is not interesting. To say you feel 'really insignificant' sounds like a very strong and painful statement. Can you tell me exactly what that feels like as you say you are not depressed? Have you spoken to anyone close to you....a family member, your doctor perhaps, about this?

Many people feel shy and find it hard to socialise, and often we feel other peoples' lives are more interesting than our own, but perhaps discussing how you feel with a counsellor might help you to focus on your strengths and find ways to feel more positive about the future

Please write back if you feel this could help. i would be happy to work with you to overcome your problem

Best wishes

Paul

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2002

Hi Sue

Thank you for taking what must be a giant step for you - contacting me. When you are shy it is not easy to start opening up to anyone. Even though you say you are not depressed you sound really down just now. Can you tell me a little abut what has now triggered this off just now? You asked if counselling might help you? I think it might. A counsellor may well enable you to see aspects of yourself you have not thought about and gradually let you see that you are just as significant as others in your social group, and DO have something to contribute. I would be happy to work with you on this, should you decide to do so. I am sending you information about how counselling might work for you along with further details of how we could go about this. Take care and I hope to hear from you shortly. Sandy

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2002