Hog heaven - humorgreenspun.com : LUSENET : Countryside : One Thread |
This was sent in to the letters to the editor a while back. "Hog Heaven, Dear Uncle Sam, My friend mack Jones, over in Rutherford county, received a $1,ooo check for not raising hogs. So I am going in the "not raising hog business next year.What I want to know is - in your opinion - what is the best kind of farm to raise hogs on, and what is the best kind of hogs not to raise? I would prefer not to raiserazorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, I will just as gladly not raise any Berkshires or Durocs.
The hardest work in this business is going to be in keeping an inventory on how many I haven't raised.
My friend Mack is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been rainng hogs for more than 20 years and the best he ever made was $400 in 1918 until this year, when he got a check for $1000 for not raising hogs.
If I can get $1,ooo for not raising 50 hogs, then will i Get $2000 for not raising 100 hogs,etc? I plan to operate on a small scale at first. Holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs which means I will have $80,000, then I can afford a boat, good friends, and lady friends.
Now another thing - these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn. So , Will you pay me anything for not raising 100,000 bushels of corn not to feed the hogs I'm not going to raise?
I want to get started as soon as possibleas this seems to be a good time of the year for not raising hogs.
Sincerely, Oscar "
-- jz (oz49us@yahoo.com), March 12, 2002
Yep, vicious circle...
-- Novina in ND (homespun@stellarnet.com), March 12, 2002.
I went in on the "not raising hog business" LOL
-- tracy (murfette@stargate.net), March 12, 2002.
Good idea! I haven't raised hogs in about 30 years. What do you think the chances of this being retroactive are? ;-)
-- Chux (chux@whatsthatsmell.?), March 12, 2002.
That sounds to me like "Kocher hogs for sale" I actually saw this sign in a farm. Must be country humor. Ralph.
-- Ralph Roces (rroces1@yahoo.com), March 13, 2002.