What do you dis like about dealing with other people? I find doctors and nurses to be the worst offenders. They allow about 20 to 25 seconds of conversation to pass before they override what you are saying with the attitude that they know more than you, the sufferer does not get a chance to explain their problems or conditions. Any medical people reading this , learn to shut up and listen; you can make a much better decision when you know ALL the facts.

-- mitch hearn (moopups@citlink.net), October 20, 2001

Answers

When it comes to Drs, they are totally surprised when you ask an intelligent question. My husband was recently diagnosed with diabeties. He was given meds and told to come back in 2 weeks. First I checked out every dibetic book from the library and read everything there was on page after page on the internet. Took a ton of notes and had a ton of questions. I think I intemidated the Dr and he was about ready to go back to India. He kept wanting to put him on BP meds. I told the Dr that he didn't have high BP. We argued a bit. Finally said OK bring a record of his BP next time we come in.

Yes, I agree, they don't let you talk. Funny, I can bully my way and talk to hubby's dr but not mine.

-- Belle (gardenbelle@terraworld.net), October 20, 2001.

Mitch.... To me I get tired of: 1. The games people play 2. People downing other people to make themselves look good 3. A handshake not being worth anything anymore 4. Religious people acting one way and totally being another 5. People who say they are going to do something, and don't 6. People who don't do anything, but are more than happy to take the credit for someone else's accomplishments 7. People who think they know everything...and don't 8. Etc. etc. etc. The world is full of 'em!

-- Harmony Bullington (harmonyfarm57@hotmail.com), October 20, 2001.

I dislike having to put up with people who are two-faced. Having to be in the presense of a person who i know goes to church every sunday, but who's actions are very hypocritical to the kind of person they claim to be leaves me burning inside.

-- Buk Buk (bukabuk@hotmail.com), October 20, 2001.

Doctors and other health care providers are being dictated to by the insurance companies. Docs now often have a total of **SEVEN** minutes to complete their examination of you. (It used to be fifteen minutes.) The docs and ARNPs, etc., that I know are just as p.o.'d about this as you are, if not more so....in fact, their livelihoods are being impacted by this. Trust me, they HATE this...which may somewhat affect their attitudes, too.

Doctors see over 30 patients a day...day in, day out. They work very hard to provide you with quality health care. They have to make tough decisions all the time., something that I would never want to have to do.

I think we should direct our concerns to the whole health care industry. Granted there are doctors who are arrogant and condescending...just like there are grocery clerks who think they owe you a big favor as well. But by and large, most docs go into medicine with the idea that they can make a positive change in the world...not because they can get rich at your expense. On the other hand, consider the insurance companies....

With all due respect,

-- sheepish (WA) (the_original_sheepish@hotmail.com), October 20, 2001.

About the only thing that bothers me is people who talk continually, and say nothing.

-- Duffy (hazelm@tenforward.com), October 20, 2001.

What gets to me is when I'm driving the speed limit and someone passes me and gives me that look like I'm doing something wrong.

-- ruby (mcfays451@aol.com), October 20, 2001.

I can't stand it when I'm shopping and I ask a sales clerk for help or ask a question, and get rudeness in return. You know, that 'why are you bothering ME' attitude. I was practically raised in a gift shop that my mother ran (I worked there myself from the time I was 12 years old until I was 18) - and the one thing she absolutely drilled into me was to be courteous and helpful to the customers! If a sales clerk can't be courteous and helpful to me, then they obviously don't need my money, and I always try to make that clear to the manager of the store. Sometimes even the managers are rude! It's mind boggling! Doesn't anyone understand the concept of good customer service anymore?

-- Cheryl in KS (cherylmccoy@rocketmail.com), October 20, 2001.

No, they don't, Cheryl! And that is why 70 percent of small businesses go under in something like the first two years. You'd think it would be a no-brainer to a business owner or manager, but, there you have it!

-- Elizabeth (ekfla@aol.com), October 20, 2001.

The problem is that people these days have very poor work ethics. I was raised to do the job to the best of your ability, give 100% always. Most people give 10% and think that is good enough. It also depends on your personality. If you are passive, you will be taken advantage of. I am a " assertive,aka, bitch" Probably one of the best people you could have to deal with a car salesman. Probably the worst you could have when dealling with, well nothing, if you are having a problem than you are not asserting yourself...period...doctors,salespeople,government,etc, are all your emplyees and if you cant speak for yourself and let people walk all over you, than I believe that it is an issue you have to address about your own self.

-- tracy (murfette@stargate.net), October 20, 2001.

I work in a male dominated office, yet the women handle most of the problems that come up. I really hate when one of the men says or does something that on the surface is perfectly ordinary, but is designed to assert themselves over the women. It is so sneaky, and I just can't stand sneaky. If you are going to do something, do out in the open.

-- Linda Al-Sangar (alsangal@brentwood-tn.org), October 21, 2001.

Well as for doctors and nurses - I have to say we are really happy with ours. With the doctors we try to see the same one each time so we can have some kind of relationship.

My biggest peeve is having to deal with employees that can't do their jobs. The ones that have the attitude that I'm bothering them - you know the ones I mean. I am a lot less patient with them as I get older and often just leave. I've left the grocery store before and just left a whole cart of groceries in it before I couldn't get anyone to check me out. I left Best Buy the other day because I was ready to buy a car CD player for my hubby and the saleman started telling me how this particular model tended to break down and how I should opt for the $40 extra warranty. So I told him I would shop somewhere else that actually sold reliable models. He was just putting on the hard sell to make me buy a more expensive CD player or a $40 warranty. He ended up losing a $150 plus sale.

I hate people the tail gate, especially when I'm already doing the speed limit. I hate that people don't signal. I hate car sales men as a general rule. Although I have to say our Saturn sales man was really nice and not at all pushy.

I hate that every time I go to the grocery store I have to go to customer service at the end of checking out because something rang up the wrong price - always in their favor I notice.

Well at least I don't have to deal with public schools as I homeschool.

-- Anita in NC (anitaholton@mindspring.com), October 21, 2001.

I like my doctor. Last visit we talked for 20 minutes. He listened and dropped one of my meds.

I really get peeved at store clerks that say "I'll go find that for you" and 45 minutes later duck when they see you haven't left.

Tailgaters, liars, thieves and two-faced people claiming friendship.

:-)

-- Kenneth in N.C. (wizardsplace13@hotmail.com), October 21, 2001.

What bothers me the most are people that don't listen to what others are saying. Instead they talk about themselves, interrupt, or are just plain self centered. Dealing with people isn't my #1 strength, being that I am an introverted person and I don't get my energy or inspiration from people. I learned a long time ago not to take things personally and to exercise patience and compassion as much as possible. I stay away from people I don't like, and I try to understand where other people are coming from so that I don't let their issues ruin my day.

I also wanted to say that I believe not all medical practitioners are guilty of being bad listeners. Regardless of today's health care reimbursement system, it is possible for practitioners to still give patients time and to show compassion. Our pediatrician is a gem--a great listener and a nice person. She gives us all the time we need. For all the lousey doctors and nurses I've come across, I can also think of many that are good at what they do. It is all a matter of shopping around, as you would when you are seeking out any type of service.

-- amy (acook@in4web.com), October 21, 2001.

I have to say that I really like our family doctor. He takes all the time we need, and listens well - even to our 4 year old. He's a good guy!

Now as for people I don't care for. I really have a problem with people who hijack commercial airliners and crash them into skyscrapers. Don't care for that at all....

-- Cheryl in KS (cherylmccoy@rocketmail.com), October 21, 2001.

I recall reading a study of medical personnel (primarily MD's) which showed the average time they listened to a patient before interrupting was fourteen seconds! Certainly there are times that's warranted ("How long has this been happening" or "Does it seem worse after you eat?" etc.) but I still think more listening might help.

The flip side of that coin is too many people look at doctors as Gods rather than humans doing a job and providing a service. I'm very happy with my G.P. as well as all of the people who provide care for my Mom. Of course, if I'm not happy, I say so. If I'm not made to be happy, I move on. I think being a 'procatice patient' gets you better medical care. Being a "good patient" doesn't necessarily mean being a "docile patient."

On the subject of things which irritate me in dealing with others, most have already been mentioned. There are, however, two things which an employee anywhere can say to me in response to a question which are like waving red flags to an angry bull.

The first occurs most often in a situation where I was quoted a price or something during a phone call and then either arrive or call back to be told something different. The person with whom I'm dealing the second time will invariably say, "Well, who did you talk to?"

My pat answer to that is "I talked to (XYZ Co.). It shouldn't matter which representative of your company."

The other statement employees make that sets me crazy is, "I don't know. I only work here." I'm of the opinion that if that's the way you feel and you think that's a satisfactory answer, you probably shouldn't be working there. In point of fact, I tell people who work for me if I ever hear something like that said to one of my customers, it'll be that last thing they say as one of my employees. If you don't know, ask. If there's no one here to be able to give you a definative answer, get the customer's information, get it to me or a manager and have them follow up. Don't leave the customer feeling like he has nowhere to turn.

In a similar vein, there is another thing which I hear all the time being given as an answer which truly isn't an answer. It's "That's our policy" as though one should genuflect or at least bow one's head at the very mention of it. That can be used when you want to return a defective or even mistakenly bought item for cash when you paid cash, for example. I can understand waiting for a check to clear before making a refund, only crediting a card when it was a card purchase or even having to wait for a check to be cut if it's a large amount. What I can't understand is "store credit" on a defective item or one returned perfectly sound, boxed in saleable condition. Again, my pat response to that is, "Well, MY policy is I get my money back. Since we have two policies in conflict, how do you suggest we resolve this?" Once you take "policy" from deified status, you can usually resolve things.

-- Gary in Indiana (gk6854@aol.com), October 21, 2001.

I guess part of the thing about doctors being made to feel like they are gods concerns the fact they they have to make life and death decisions (not all the time, or even ever, but they have to be *trained* to do so.) If they had an ego like most of us, or the confidence level of most of us, they would probably not be able to be decisive enough to do so!

I know I would be waffling and hmming and hawing and asking so many other's opinions, etc., that the patient would probably be dead by the time I made up my mind what to do! otoh, if I thought I was like a god, I guess I could probably feel pretty gutsy about making the call.

I'm not trying to overly defend doctors, but after having worked with them for a while now, I really do appreciate all that they have to be responsible for. Something to think about. btw, notice how police officers and firefighters are getting more respect these days. Docs, nurses, and other medical folk might be next in line for renewed respect...especially if they have to respond to some awful "situation."

-- sheepish (WA) (the_original_sheepish@hotmail.com), October 21, 2001.

After being in the auto repair business for more than 15 yrs. what I dislike most about some people is when they bring their own parts...thinking that they are saving money! Their over-the-counter cost is usually more than what we would have charged them for the same auto parts. Also, don't care for folks who think that their way is the only way! But, I do like my doctor...she really listens and seems to care!

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), October 21, 2001.

Marcia, most auto repair shops are known to add 30 to 50 % to the cost of replacement parts, that is why people bring their own repair parts, they recgonize the gouging this trade is famous for....

-- mitch hearn (moopups@citlink.net), October 21, 2001.

Guess that's why we're not getting rich in this business :-)!! We buy our parts for 30 to 40 percent less than what the public pays over the counter...then pass some of that discount on to the customer. I know for a fact, though, that there are some rather unscrupulous repair shops out there!!

-- Marcia (HrMr@webtv.net), October 21, 2001.

lucky me, my doc uses his ears as much as his mouth. Great md as well as human being. tailgaters suck.

-- jz (0z49us@yahoo.com), October 22, 2001.

To all you people who hate tailgaters all you have to do is quit driving in the passing lane. try reading you drivers manual.Bob se,ks.

-- Bobco (bobco@kans.com), October 22, 2001.

Other people's inaccurate assumption that a lack of planning on their part constitutes an emergency on my part.

That really ticks me off.

-- Tracy (trimmer31@hotmail.com), October 25, 2001.