You MUST go to the site to see the funny faked-up book jackets!

So Many Titles Fit the Bill
Readers' ideas for book go from sexy to serious

By CORKY SIEMASZKO
Daily News Staff Writer

Bubba, the choice is yours.

We asked our loyal Daily News readers to share your pain and come up with some titles for your new $10 million memoir — and they sent in volumes. More than 3,000, actually. And we read every single one.

Many were from Clinton fans who tried to invent a title with sufficient sweep and dignity suitable for a book by an ex-Prez they admire.

Nathaniel Watty of Hempstead, L.I., suggested, "My Journey to the Presidency." Pauline Arnett of the Bronx offered, "My Name is Bill — Not Bubba."

Others tried to reconcile admiration for his administration with forgiveness for his scandals.

Variations of Maxine Soso's "I'm Only Human" were popular. A fan whose E-mail suggestion was signed only Melody offered "Presidents Are Human," and Jacqueline Murphy thought "I've Done My Best" hit the right note.

Hattie Overman of the Bronx, whose title suggestion was "Surviving Through Grace," also sent a gentle rebuke to those making fun of Clinton.

"We as humans will fail somewhere in our lifetime," Overman wrote in a note. "President Clinton was a great President and is worthy of our forgiveness."

Forgiveness is not what many readers had in mind. "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire" was one of the most frequently suggested titles. "Slick Willie," "Pinocchio" and "Sex, Lies and Videotape" were close runners-up.

Shane Mullery of Linden, N.J., expressed his pain when he offered "Shucks, I'm Fibbing as Fast as I Can."

"I believed him when he looked in the camera and said, 'I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky,'" Mullery said. "He lied through his teeth."

One sly reader, who signed the E-mail C.baamonde, wrote, "I've chosen the double entendre title 'Beyond Hope.'"

Then there's the category of titles that ranged from blunt to ingenious, though all of them unprintable in a family newspaper.

Clinton's office declined to comment on the literary efforts of News readers.

Our attempt to help Clinton cap his memoirs with a memorable cover provided more confirmation that hardly anybody feels neutral about our skirt-chasing, scandal-dodging but still popular former commander-in-chief.

Love him or hate him, he clearly strikes a nerve. By far, the most popular title offered was "I Did It My Way."

Here are the best of the rest.

Serious

"Hope Is Just a Starting Place"
"From Hope to Glory"
"I've Been Blessed"
"The Comeback Kid"
"Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow"
"I'm Still Thinking About
Tomorrow"
"Arkansas Rhapsody"
"The Prince of Arkansas"
"Presidential Memoirs: The Legacy of a Survivor"
"Surviving Through Grace"
"Bill"
"The Clinton Chronicles"
"Thank You, America"

Glib

"The Meaning of Is"
"Waiting to Inhale"
"Bill Clinton: That's My Story ... And I'm Sticking to It"
"Pardon Me"
"William Tells"
"Tripped Up"
"Starr Struck"
"What Hillary Knew and When She Knew It"
"I Got a Book Deal, You Got Bush"
"The Ten Million Dollar Bill"
"The Three Dollar Bill"
"Survivor"
"Clinton Comes to Harlem"
"What, Me Worry?"
"The Years of Living Dangerously"
"I Can't Believe I Got a Book Deal"
"Don't Mess With Bill"

For Adults Only

"War and Piece"
"Oops, I Did It Again"
"Thanks for the Mammaries"
"Stain By Me"
"Potus Interruptus"
"42 - My Life Between the Bushes"
"From Hope to Grope"
"The Big Lewinsky"
"All the President's Women"
"Bob Dole Needs Viagra, I Don't"
"With a Thong in My Heart"
"Affairs of State"
"Skirting the Issues"
"Crouching Intern, Hidden Cigar"


-- Anonymous, August 19, 2001