What do I do when I am trying to apply for jobs, but men tell me, for example, to pull my pants down (from a married man). I can't prove this, and don't appreciate losing out on employment opportunities I am more than qualified for because of this. Why should I be the one that has to move if I don't want to when I wasn't even rejected because of qualifications, but am scared to apply because of this. I already moved back clear from the other side of the country because I thought it was my former employer. I tell someone I am applying for jobs, there are positions open in the companies they work for, and they stalk me for a date. I've called the police twice about this because I tell them to leave me alone on several occassions, but the first response I got was 'maybe he just wanted coffee'. Maybe I'm applying for a job there, have bills to pay or other goals and have no desire to date. Is he going to give me a ride to work or something??? Don't think so. What am I doing wrong and how can I resolve this without any ill feelings or more lost opportunities or being snowballed if I even would get the job? The few women I thought it would be ok to work around are flirtatious and take advantage of stuff like that. Some even have tried it on me (which scared the heck out of me). It makes the situation even worse. I don't want to, and don't think I should have to. Am I wrong here??? If I'm rejected for other reasons, it would be different. I can't be running from these people the rest of my life. There is nothing in the United States Constitution that I'm aware of that states that I have to get married either. I'm getting sick of it and am scared of how easy it is for people to manipulate me like that. I earned a double engineering degree and have experience. How can I prevent this in the future without becoming branded. Thank you very much for your time and any help.

-- Michelle Moyer (mmmmoyer@aol.com), July 31, 2001

Answers

If anyone else has problems with that there are lists on the web of how to deal with sexual harassment. I don't mean someone casually asking for a date which you can politely refuse. I mean sexual harassment. I don't appreciate being manipulated like that. Also, if that is how business is done 'in the real world', I have looked into investing and have experience working a full-time and two part-time jobs at once. Minimum wage salary each job. I wish I could say that I'd try to start my own business, but... I've learned to really appreciate management after that if that's what everyone else does and is considered normal???, and my first impression when I realized the salary my degree qualified me for was that they were big jerks. I was really naive, and some people would really appreciate being just laughed at for being 'repressed'. Especially with STDs and other issues. There is way, way, way to much stuff to do around here. If one of the jerks that did that is reading this, don't try that personality matching thing. #1 you were on tape after I realized you realized that you thought of my career as just a joke when you pretended to try to be a mentor just for fun #2 although you pretend to be this sweet, innocent married man for 10 times everyone else's salary, people can see through you eventually. I hope. I can't afford a lawyer. Oh, and I know how your 4.0 accountant 'married' wife pays for that house. Must be worth it to her. Congrats. I tried to tell her. I'm sick of men doing that and trying to manipulate me while bragging about their wife. As if I'd want to either get married or marry someone like that anyway? Or if he was actually thinking about that when he kept asking me what color underwear I wore? 'Politics' aside, I felt like just landed from venus. She can do better. I don't need to. I need a job. I'd flatter myself if I thought I could have friends or do that 'marriage thing'. My bills I got myself into have to take priority along with other interests. Good luck to everyone else and leave me alone. My 'pursuit of happiness' clashes. Thanks. Good luck.

-- Michelle Moyer (mmmmoyer@aol.com), August 07, 2001.