Giuliani's "Jerks, Idiots, Morons"

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Giuliani's "Jerks, Idiots, Morons"

by Robert Lederman

Newsday 6/29/2001 -

"New York's divorcing mayor lost his cool yesterday as reporters queried him about his sleepovers at a top political fund-raiser's Manhattan apartment. "Don't be a jerk," a testy Rudolph Giuliani said just a day after Giuliani heckled a group of bus drivers, branding them "morons"...You're a bunch of idiots," the mayor said. "Really, really scary that these people drive buses," he added. "I know the kindergarten does a lot better than these morons. You are acting like morons, yes."

I have to confess from the outset that I am one of the, "jerks, idiots and morons" who consistently annoy the 107th Mayor of New York by daring to question his actions. My fellow ingrates and I just don't appreciate all that Rudy Giuliani has done for us in the past seven-and-a-half years, the so-called "Giuliani Legacy".

According to Mr. Giuliani's many statements about us we are, "immature and irresponsible", and act, "like kindergarteners". The most threatening of us - street artists, cabbies and anti-pesticide activists - he has called "terrorists". And for the very, very most incorrigible offenders he reserves the ultimate Giuliani insult, "it's silly - they just want to get on TV".

We morons angrily confront him at carefully staged and otherwise picture-perfect Town Hall meetings, daring to interrupt the pre-screened testimonials to his awesome greatness. The jerk-reporters among us interrupt his feel-good corporate message with embarrassing family questions at City Hall press conferences. At parades, we idiots yell insults and hold up unflattering portraits of him and Judy Nathan, the ersatz First Lady of New York.

We have no sense of decency.

When thousands of us demonstrated at One Police Plaza carrying signs comparing the Mayor to Hitler (his ideas can be directly traced to the ideology behind Nazi Germany - see my website for details), he called us, "the lowest element in society". He was referring of course to reverends, priests, nuns, rabbis, members of 100 Blacks in Law Enforcement, U.S. Congressmen, NY City Council members and other such, "lowlifes".

The writers among us persist in challenging the truthfulness of his cooked statistics and countless claims to having done things which the record shows were actually done before he ever took office. Our research proves beyond question that his crime stats are false, that few former welfare recipients got jobs and that the squeegee guys were almost all gone before he was ever sworn into office. But why let the facts besmirch a great reputation?

We morons point out the logical inconsistency of throwing mothers and children off welfare and then giving the money to Giuliani's billionaire pals in order to build privately-owned baseball stadiums (the Yankees and the Mets), refurbish privately-owned art museums (David Rockefeller's Museum of Modern Art) or to convince immensely successful corporations whose image is inextricably linked to NYC (the NY Stock Exchange and many others) to remain here rather than move to New Jersey.

The Mayor likes to say of his critics that we are, "stuck in the age of Communism", and just don't understand the American system of business as taught at the CIA's Nazi-inspired right-wing think tank, the Manhattan Institute.

We're the people who - with the help of the next soon-to-be-elected Democratic Mayor - will return the City to it's previous state of, "filth, crime and depravity". According to Rudy, if we get our way thousands of squeegee guys and topless dancers will be racing back to live in the Big Apple while all the "decent" people will leave.

Goodbye to all you fine and decent people. Can I get a quarter for washing your car window as you cross the George Washington Bridge on your way to New Jersey?

Unlike Mr. Giuliani - who in an earlier election tried to damage Mayor Ed Koch's reputation by circulating reports that he was gay - we have no respect for the sanctity of a Mayor's private life. Just because Giuliani announced on live TV that he had a mistress and was breaking up with his second wife or had his aides tell the media that he was impotent, doesn't give us the right to ask questions about his sex life or where he sleeps.

The Mayor made it very very clear he does not want us to pay any attention to his marriage break-up or his two children. That's why at the height of his custody battle he arranged for his son Andrew to play golf with Tiger Woods and made sure the media was there in force to cover it.

It's OK for the Mayor's divorce attorney - Raoul Felder - to viciously attack his wife, Donna Hanover in public calling her a, "terrible mother who won't clean up the Mayor's vomit, exercises at five in the morning and gets her hair done before court appearances". However, it's an invasion of the Mayor's privacy for reporters to ask him any questions about his family, about a first marriage to a cousin or about a previous mistress being given a City job at a yearly salary of $400,000.

"Respect my privacy", the Mayor sternly warns. If reporters disobey and dare ask a second time Rudy lets them have it with a select example of his brilliant wit such as, "you're a jerk".

Unlike a genius former Federal Prosecutor and top Justice Department official like Mayor Giuliani, we jerks, morons and idiots are not intelligent enough to understand the First Amendment right to free speech. Contrary to the myths about free speech and civil rights dispensed by left-wing propagandists, "Freedom is about authority" as the Mayor has repeatedly explained.

What that means in layman's terms goes something like this:

Street artists don't have First Amendment rights on streets or around NYC parks despite winning Federal lawsuits that say we are exempt from any form of license, permit or fee and are fully protected by the First Amendment. According to the Mayor, we now have to buy a permit and compete in a lottery to even paint a picture within 350 feet of a park.

Corporations on the other hand, especially those closely associated with the Mayor like Disney, JP Morgan/Chase Bank or Macys have full First Amendment rights and can exploit entire parks or close off entire streets in order to promote their corporate products.

As an example of how this works in practice, a 3 X 8 foot cardboard artists' display is a, "public safety hazard". A film crew running huge electrical cables and parking 30 giant trucks on a street is, "a great way to advertise New York". Naturally, these Hollywood film and television crews with hundred million dollar budgets don't have to pay a single penny in fees to the City, although it helps if they let the Mayor do an occasional guest spot in drag on their film or TV show.

Taxpaying members of the public can't post any leaflets no matter how small on City-owned light poles because that would severely violate the quality of life laws on graffiti and defacing public property. Under Giuliani's regime, thousands of New Yorkers are arrested each year for nothing more than posting a leaflet about a lost dog or a political cause.

On the other hand, corporations that Giuliani has given billions of dollars in tax write-offs are encouraged to hang huge banners - most of which have the Mayor's name in large letters - from thousands of the very same NYC light poles. They don't need to pay a cent in fees to the City because these banners, "promote tourism" (see excerpt from Daily News article below).

I can't see how these banners promote tourism since you have to be in New York to see them. Perhaps that's because I'm a jerk.

If a group of political activists want to hold a small press conference on the steps of City Hall they can't because of a, "threat of terrorism". The Yankees can hold numerous rallies there however, attended by tens of thousands of people because - well, because The Mayor is a Yankees fan.

If these don't seem like reasonable rules to you it's because you are immature, a Communist or just another idiot, moron or jerk.

Later this year we will all get the chance to carefully study the Mayor's profound philosophy thanks to a three million dollar two-book deal he's signed with Talk/Miramax. According to newspaper reports, the first book to be published will be called, "Rudy's Rules" a point by point guide to how he "tamed" all of us idiots, moron and jerks.

Unfortunately, because of the City's awful public school system - which gets worse every single day of the Giuliani administration - most of us are functionally illiterate and won't be able to read this important textbook on City management.

Here's a four sentence synopsis of the Giuliani philosophy. If you are one of the lucky few who can read perhaps you'll verbally convey this important message to your less fortunate neighbors.

1. Sex is bad, Disney is good.

2. Welfare is bad, corporate welfare is good.

3. Donna Hanover is bad, Judy Nathan is good.

4. You are bad, I am good.

End of story.



-- Cherri (jessam6@home.com), July 03, 2001

Answers

ROTFLMAO. Yep, that's Rudy. Everything good that has happened in NYC over the past seven and a half years is because of him (even if he had absolutely nothing to do with it; which is most cases).

Everything bad is everyone else's fault.

Egomaniac. (You have to love the double-standard, too. How typical. This one question is hauntingly familiar, "But why let the facts besmirch a great reputation?")

-- (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), July 03, 2001.


Yawn "Jerks, Idiots, & Morons" pretty much sum up all the residents of NYC. why o why do they think the rest of the country gives a flyin' shit about them?

-- Thanks_Cherri (but_don't_care@about.NYC.com), July 03, 2001.

Heh, that's pretty funny. Let's try it another way:

Yawn "Jerks, Idiots, & Morons" pretty much sum up all the residents OUTSIDE of NYC. why o why do they think NYC gives a flyin' shit about the rest of the country?

The difference is that you'll take the time to post derogatory remarks about them. They don't waste their time posting derogatory remarks about you.

-- (pot@kettle.black), July 03, 2001.


HAHA HEHE HOHO, Pot, stop, you're killing me, that's just too funny!!! Oh wait, didn't the post just above yours say the same thing almost? You just wasted both mine and your time responding and you couldn't even come up with something original, gee, why am I not surprised?

-- John Rocker (as_if_I_care@yawn.com), July 03, 2001.

Kinda made the point, though :-)

-- (pot@kettle.black), July 03, 2001.



:-) yes it did pot! more so because I know a few people from NYC and they almost do admit to feeling that way!!

-- truce (America!@what_a_country.com), July 03, 2001.

What happened to you pursuit of corruption Cherri?

Branching out a bit to personal stuff?

Got a guy named Condit out here in California that might be worth you time.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), July 04, 2001.


Let us all thank god for Giuliani. He cleaned up NYC but then again you would not fucking know that would ya you WHORE cus you dont have enough class to LIVE there do YOU SLUT?

If not for him that city would be even worse so shut the fuck up ya redneck bitch and go fuck your black man.. Your a disgrace.

Get some bucks and some class AND THEN see if you can even make it a Fucking DAY in NYC Whore

-- CherriTheFatCuntSlut (jessam6@home.com), July 04, 2001.


I love you Cherri.

-- helen (an@wful.thread), July 04, 2001.

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