This is probably a little depressing to ponder so excuse me for asking this question.

Has anyone thought how long they will be able to continue their homesteading years?

My wife and I were talking last night about how nice it would be to live in the country. She had a real poser of a question: What happens when we get old and wouldn't be able to continue homestead activities? Do you just sell out and move to the city? Do you hope that neighbors will pool resources and help each other out? Or do you just bull it through and pass on at the homestead. Land maybe more valuable in the future; maybe not. What would your retirement funds be like in the future? Would it be enough to live on?

I was at a total loss; I never thought of it. Anyone have any opinions on this? BTW, I hope this doesn't screw up anyone's day.

-- j.r. guerra (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), June 26, 2001

Answers

I just thought about that yesterday when I sheared my sheep. Thought I would pass out. They are big (Suffolk)and hard to handle,especially the ram.

But then I remembered my dear friend Minnie, 92. She was my mother-in- laws nanny when her parents were missionaries in Mexico. Minnie lives in CA now and visits often. As soon as she gets here she is prunning, weeding, looking over the animals. Even though she can't do anything with the sheep and cattle she loves the chickens and rabbits. She never stops for a minute.

I think as long as you're active and doing something you love, old is relative. And, if you have to you just make changes to fit what you can do. To me, changing a few things is much better than giving up and sitting around.

If you are a good neighbor and active in your community there will always be people to help if you need it.

It's as possible to find people to live on your land and help out. A friend of mine did that. Lived on a small farm, about 5 acres, the man who owned it was 85 and didn't want to leave. Lori and her husband took care of the big jobs and the owner worked with the kids on gardening and with the small animals. It worked out very well.

Also, I think people in the country age slower than city people so I'm sure you have a long ways to go. Besides what's more pleasing, growing old under a shady tree, looking out over your land or in the city, worring about your safety.

-- jennifer (schwabauer@aol.com), June 26, 2001.

I am 42 and still just getting started here on my homestead. I wonder about my old age as well - its really not all that far off anymore. I know I'm far more active than most women my age, or even younger women, but I can already notice a big difference between what I could do 2 years ago and how I feel when I do that now. I have a repetitive stress injury in my shoulder that pretty much bothers me all the time already (and I got that working as a computer programmer installing software at a school that came on like 200 floppies, it wasn't from anything I did out here).

I took sheep shearing school this past March and it like to have killed me. I actually blacked out for a nanosecond, just long enough to hit the dirt and wonder why I was falling. One thing's sure, Corriedales are too big for me. By the time I straddled some of those suckers I was on tippy toe and unable to move a muscle. I shook with the fatigue of it. And its not like I'm sitting around popping bonbons and watching the soaps all day, either - I'm actively trying to build my own house, trying to keep up a garden, and mowing 9 acres of pasture for hay by hand (or I would be if my DR Trimmer/Mower wasn't leaking oil).

So its been on my mind, what will I do in 10 years? 20? Thirty?

I don't know. The idea of having a younger couple move in and take over some of the heavier work is appealing, I know my son has less than no interest in keeping this place once I'm dead and buried.

I also think you're right, active people age more slowly than couch potatoes. My 82 year old stepmother still walks every day despite having had 2 strokes and 2 serious fractures. And she's a lot better off than any other 82 year old woman I have ever known.

I guess mostly I'll just worry about it when I get there. I do still have a little money left in a 401k, if the stock market will quit eating it away I might just have some of that left. And hopefully SS will still be around long enough for me to get a little payback from that direction. VBG And I'll try to sock a little away as the years go by.

The truth is that though I wonder what my life will be like 20 or 30 or 40 years down the road, I don't really WORRY about it. I WORRY about how I'm going to manage to shear sheep on my own - next year. I WORRY about whether I'm going to be able to finish the house - before my ex comes down here in September. But I don't worry about my old age.

-- Sojourner (notime4@summer.spam), June 26, 2001.

Old! What is that? I have known people who, at thirty were old. My husband is almost 66 and I am almost 60, married 40 years ago today and on Friday close on our new place in the country. We will never be old!!!

Charles is always talking about planting trees, building a log splitter etc. Our bodies may slow us down a bit but we will remain as active as we possibly can.

We have lived in the city and in the country. The country wins out hands down. Had a certified organic farm for 12 years, raised chickens, goats, steers, sold eggs and produce. I am hoping to get some chickens but probably no other animals. My husband is the only one who really eats meat so it would not benefit us to have steers.

Just to be able to be outdoors, smelling the fresh air and enjoying being alive, to hear the quiet and listen to Mother Nature. It keeps you young and healthy.

I try hard not to have negative thoughts either. I believe you think positive it will bring the positive and visa-versa.

I agree with the other comments. If you are neighborly, you neighbors will repay in kind.

I kid with my children...when I die, just build a bonfire and let me fertilize the earth. It is going to happen and it does not bother me at all. As corny as it may sound, as long as Charles and I are together we will survive.

As far as retirement funds, not much there. That is why we looked for a place that we could work with and know that if worse came to worse, we could do it on only our SS. We are consumer debt free and will only have the mortgage. I also plan to make some extra payments so we can pay it off sooner.

We feel this is right for us but everyone needs to do what they feel is right for them.

Sorry for rambling so much.

Wishing you enough.

-- Cordy (ckaylegian@aol.com), June 26, 2001.

We are getting older too,how I hate to say that.....We have set up our farm to make things easier, We can drive to the barn to unload, garden carts and wheel barrow things instead of carrying loads. Back in 1994 when we build our new house our Son bought our house in front and he is a big help. The neighbors and us all let our cattle run together and when its time for shots and worming,everyone works together.Since I have to use a cane to walk,no more raising calves on bottles. We let the mothers do all the work. Raised beds for the garden,less work and easier on the back, drip system so you can travel,Son only has to turn on and off. Put plants in your flower beds that come up every year,and were putting down plastic to keep down the weeds. We put in a hot tub a few years ago. Good for soaking tired bodies. We also got the propane heating stove(looks like wood burning), no chopping wood. The next investment will be a riding lawn mover. Since canning is such long hard work,I freeze or dry produce. I also buy organic food from my food co-op. I think we can have it all just do things different. We plan on staying right here,Lord will'n.

-- Joanne (travelerjo@hotmail.com), June 26, 2001.

Congrats Cordy and Charles! I think that is wonderful. We are aiming to retire homesteading, though I don't think it will be in this humidity. I already do implement some of the things I will use when I am older, right now it is bacause I am to busy. I give goats to others who do chores for me, I give meat to a guy who butchers for me. I had never even thought that a neighbor would have wanted to garden in my raised beds this year, sharing the veggies, until it was to late, and I had taken down the beds. So through paid labor and bartering I think old age will also be do-able. Going into it debt free will be the key, like getting the homestead in the beginning. Vicki

-- Vicki McGaugh TX (vickilonesomedoe@hotmail.com), June 26, 2001.

Hey, guys! This has been on my mind lately, too. I've dabbled at homesteading all my adult life and now it looks like I'm actually becoming a real goat farmer. Trouble is, now that I'm really into it, I'm going to be 50 in a couple of months, and I'll be doing this farm-thing on my own. (Here's a silly thought: I worry about my animals out-living me! LOL!) I'm pretty lucky that I've had good health all my life and am banking on it in the future... no, I'm actively making a great effort to continue that good health, because I'm going to have to depend on it for a long time. My ex wanted to know why I didn't have someone haul hay for me and I said, "Sure I can pay someone do it for me, but I do it because I CAN!" I want to be able to do this when I'm 70! Sojurner, I just learned how to shear my goats myself this year... yep, it's work! But, they're a bit smaller than Corriedales (those guys are huge!) and I only have 16 to do.

As for retirement funds, I just found out my first opportunity to retire will be in 2008 at the age of 57. No, I won't have much, but I will probably get a part time job contracting at what I do now. Actually, right now I'm trying to figure out a way to go down to working four 9-hour days and being home for 3 day weekends because I'm fixing to move about 20 miles further from my job. All so I can live on a farm. But, I think I'm on the right path. Country life is the only way to go for me; better late than never, right? Interesting thread, guys. Happy trails. dh in nm

-- debra in nm (dhaden@nmtr.unm.edu), June 26, 2001.

We worry because we have no shoes, then we meet a person who has no feet!!!!

I look at it this way, what I can do I do when I can do it. I am almost 50 and I might be here next hour or I might not be, I might be here 30 yrs from now then again I might not be. Point is planning is nice and I'm sure we all would like to be able to live to 95+ with no health problem,all our hair,be able to walk 5 miles in 15 minutes,etc. but life is unpredictable. I know, my mom died when I was 13 and my dad when I was 20. did they plan sure they did,did they worry,sure they did,but you still don't know what or when anything will happen to you. Don't get me wrong,planning is a worth while thing to do,( do I have enough life/disability insurance,moving to something smaller when we're 65,raising fewer sheep/goats 10 yrs from now, maybe buying a motorized dumpcart instead of a wheelbarrow,etc.) but after that then what? My biggest worry is not whether I can farm or garden or even cut the grass tomorrow or 15 yrs from now, but what am I going to be remembered as. Have I made a difference in my kids lifes, have I done as much good as I possibly can to help others,is the world better off because of me,am I even going to be missed? And yes it has been proven that the more active you are the longer your lifespan.

-- TomK (tjk@cac.net), June 26, 2001.

Very good thread. Good ideas, too.

Sometimes I think about life here when I am older. First thing that I won't do is raise sheep. Even with the shearing done by a shearer, lambing, docking, castrating, vaccinating, worming, moving hay, grain sacks, etc., nearly wears me out now at 49!

With good health, I can see raising chickens, having a garden, having berries, and having fruit trees being just about enough. We had elderly neighbors next door to us one time. That was manageable for them until they were in their 80s. Of course, we never know how our health will be. We can only do our best...

Since we live in an area where the population is still growing, I guess the temptation to sell out and sub-divide would be strong. I hope it never comes to that. I hope there will be folks who want to do community supported agriculture or something along those lines around here.

But really, I don't worry about it too much. Financially, we have made some investments that may help out. Or they may not. We have been working on our "20 year plan" and are ready to close out the first one. Time to think about the next 20 years, or 10, or 5, etc. We just like to have a plan.

I look forward to more replies to this interesting thread. Thanks.

-- sheepish (the_original_sheepish@hotmail.com), June 26, 2001.

My DH and I are 62 and 60 years old respectively. We moved to our five acres of land in mid January of this year after we were let go from our jobs. Since moving here, we've fenced our property, spread 60 yards of crushed sand stone in our driveway, built two storage sheds and are now in the midst of laying a sandstone walkway.

We are now checking into getting a pair of goats for breeding. We're also getting ready to build a chicken pen. The ground here is very rocky so we've got a compost bin started and are making raised beds for next year. We're getting ready to build a greenhouse out of scrap lumber and recycled windows. We don't know how long we'll be able to live here but we do know that we're happier here than we ever were when we lived in town.

I'd take ten years of living here in the country over thirty years int he city any old day.

-- Grannytoo (jacres40@hotmail.com), June 26, 2001.

Well we are there, old I quess. We are in our 70"s and live on a 10 acre Homestead,We sold the cows, and now we are justing letting someone else take care of the fields for the hay. We have a large garden and have done lots of canning. When we are not able to do that, we will just mow the grass, and buy from a farm stand. My husband has a rideing lawn mower, so that helps, He puts in about 4 to 5 hrs. working around the yard, prunning and weeding, We have found that we can"t work all day any more, so just do what we can. We are lucky to have a nieghbors who helped us pull up a apple tree after a storm blew it over. Its hard to ask for help when you have always done it yourself, but if you can get over that hurdle,and ask the nieghbors, I think you will find most country folks are more than willing to help. I look around us here in the booneys, and there are lots of gray hair out here. Someone down the road at 94, has bee hives and sells honey.Still drives a old pickup. We have to drive 100 miles around trip to the Doctor, Maybe thats not good, but can"t worry about it. I say whats the worse that can happen in the country, It could be a lot worse in the city. Go for it. Love Irene and Tom

-- Irene (cat lady@cs.com), June 26, 2001.

This is a good question. I have always tried to think ahead, such as "if we were crowded out here, we could parcel the land and make enought to make moving worthwhile". We own our home and acreage (over 20) outright. Both of us under 50 yo and we love the large hot tub we had put in. My current office is downstairs and has an attached full bath (large step in shower) that is accessible still if we needed to move downstairs. The sidewalk we installed from our driveway is 4 feet wide because we like walking side by side and a wheelchair would fit just fine. So as we make changes to the house we plan for the future assuming we would still be here in this place.

Retirement savings are small, but then our expenses are small as well. We have free gas (gotta love living here) and only pay for water, electric and phone. We know how little we can live on, since we were both not working for about a year at the same time. I think a lot can be attributed to attitude towards life. I believe it was Henry Ford that said "If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right".

-- Anne (HealthyTouch101@wildmail.com), June 26, 2001.

I intend to die on the walkway of my raised bed garden or at my worm bins. I'm already suffering paralysis related muscle deterioration and arthritis at 41 and the only plans I have made is to raise my beds , hutches and bins to knee or waist level to avoid bending. If malls can be disabled accessible, why not a homeplace? As long as you hold to the "outside the box thinking" anything is possible. Read Kens Croatia trip posts for some possible answers. His relatives are elderly and making it.

-- Jay Blair in N. AL (jayblair678@yahoo.com), June 26, 2001.

Here's a thought for anyone building a home now. Remember you won't always be young and keep that in mind when you build. If you have kids at home now put their BR's up but keep your MBR on the main floor. When they leave, you can eliminate going upstairs almost altogether. Put the laundry on the main level instead of the basement, too. As your knees and hips begin to talk to you (mine already do), you won't have to climb stairs for everything you want to do. Consider putting in wider doorways and grip rails in the bathroom, etc. If you never need those things, you may have guests who really appreciate them. Hope this helps.

-- Gary in Indiana (gk6854@aol.com), June 26, 2001.

I plan to be homesteading until I keel over. I am 47 now and we are just getting going. To me it is all a matter of how you pace yourself and planning things ahead (those things that you can plan). Hubby admits that he can't do carpentry work at the same pace he did when he was younger (he is 50 now) but he can get the work done he just does it differently and doesn't kill himself getting something done in one day. He's found that by slowing down he is enjoying the work more than he used to when he was younger because before he would work until he dropped on a particular project because he thought he had to have it done as quick as possible. Now that he has slowed down he is enjoying the work for the pleasure of the work as well as the end product.

We also are changing our eating and exercise habits. We are trying to prevent disease rather than have to deal with correcting it later. We luckily both come form good genetics. My mom and dad are 81 and 82. Dad still golfs everyday in the summer and mom swims three days a week and gardens even though she has severe arthritis in her knees. She says that if she rests too long she will never get up so she just keeps plugging along and takes things slower. She puts a chair out in her garden and gardens a little and then rests and enjoys looking at the garden for awhile. She eventually gets everything done. I am seeing more and more in the news now that they are realizing that the elderly are capable of having the same strength and stamina of a thirty year old if they just exercise and that includes vigorously. They just have to start slowly and work up to it. I think we baby boomers are going to be a whole different type of elderly when we get there. The vision of toddering old gray- haired people is going to change. I plan to be one of those doing the changing. So, I say, hang in there on the homestead, gear it down to what you can handle as you age, but don't underestimate what you can do, it will just take you a little longer.

-- Colleen (pyramidgreatdanes@erols.com), June 26, 2001.

I am 60 have had heart surgery and need it again, my two children think I am crazy to live so far from medical help when we own a house in a good neighborhood about 10 minutes from the emergancy room. We live so far out that when the big one comes I will not really even try to get to the hospital. All of us will eventually die, some from old age living our dreams, some from cramped up in houses in the city, I for one have made my choice.

-- David (bluewaterfarm@mindspring.com), June 27, 2001.

Wow people, thanks for your comments. Lots of wisdom here to think about, especially the attitude of "just do it" and let life take you where you are going to end up anyway. I'm gonna print this one to show the missus. Thanks again.

-- j.r. guerra (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), June 27, 2001.

Well, I used to work in a nursing home, and we saw all kinds there. One old lady came straight from her homestead where she chopped her wood by hand to cook with every day. She only went to the home because her kids worried about her. She was fit as a fiddle at 93.

My Papa at 92 still raises his greenhouse plants and makes birdhouses. He puts his things out by the road in a wheelbarrow with a sign saying this is on the honor system, as he is too old and feeble to walk out there for every customer. He has never gotten ripped off, either. Mama at 76 still has a garden and cans for the winter, and is currently raising laying hens for one of my sisters. She cant take care of chickens in the winter, because her balance isnt very good on ice.

One of the best insurances for getting old on the homestead, is to raise your children there. Have enough kids that at least one of them will decide to stay and phase into doing the heavy work on the place. Its the natural thing to do. I was raised that way with my 8 siblings and only 1 of us gets to be caretaker of our parents. The rest of us think that just isnt fair.

-- daffodyllady (daffodyllady@yahoo.com), June 27, 2001.

j.r.guerra. I am so glad that you asked this question. I am going to print off everyones responses so that I can cozy up and read them. It's good to talk about these things, I know that it is in the back of my mind, what if, what then. Thanks Tren

-- Trendle Ellwood (trendlespin@msn.com), June 27, 2001.

My husband is 45 and I am 32 so "old age", is still fairly distant, but we had our lesson or "wake up call" 5 years ago when my husband had a short and successful battle with cancer. The lesson being that anything can happen not just old age to make one or the other of us more dependant and less able to work the homestead. So now when we work on the "infastructure" of the homestead we try to make it secure and make it last - for example fences, outbuildings,home repairs, and alternative energy projects. I guess we are trying to get all the "heavy stuff" done now, while we are in better physical shape and we are still in our earning years. We are diverting money many contribute into their pensions etc, to invest in building a solid homeplace that will be payed off soon. Then if things are still going along ok we will build a financial nest egg, but if worse comes to worse I will always have a roof over my head and the means to feed myself and my children.

-- Terri in NS (terri@tallships.ca), June 27, 2001.

What a wonderful thread! Got a sign on my refrig. that says "You're Not Old Until You're 90". Motto is: "You're Never Too Old And It's Never Too Late". Just turned 61, lived alone in a mobile home for the past 20 years, am cramped and unhappy there, so am buying a total wreck of a house on 1&1/2 acres with shed & springhouse to eventually move into. Figure "If not now, when????" Sure don't want to regret not having a challenge in my life! The years go SO fast, but didn't realize it until I turned 60 - then thought, "How many years do I have left?" Decided to not worry about anything; just DO it! As someone said above, "What's the worst that could happen?" I'd rather die knowing that I had a good time than sitting in a metal shell worrying about tomorrow. (Besides, a psychic once told me that by the time I reached 65, any money worries would be over - maybe she meant that I'd be dead!!!) I just take it a day at a time, forget yesterday, make peace with today, and look forward to tomorrow. I have a LOT of faith in my Guardian Angels!

-- Bonnie (chilton@stateline-isp.com), June 27, 2001.

Gary, I have tried to build my house (currently STILL under construction) with an eye to getting around in it for as long as possible. It's pole framed with a gambrel roof, 18x32 down and 18x24 up. When my son leaves for college I'll turn upstairs into a workshop for my silversmithing.

When I built the stairs I built them wide and shallow. Rise is something like 6 3/4", under 7" anyway, run is something around 11". Had a guy out in the very early stages of construction (all that was up was the poles and some headers) and he tried to convince me to put in a straight run of stairs with 8"/8" rise and run. No way, needless to say I contracted nothing out to that guy. He also tried to talk me out of the gambrel roof. Heck of a builder, huh, wants to build to suit himself and not the homeowner, LOL!

I figure by the time I can't even handle that much stairs I won't be silversmithing anymore anyway, so upstairs can become storage or maybe living space for a young couple.

Of course I may be being optimistic thinking I'll even make it that far.

-- Sojourner (notime4@summer.spam), June 27, 2001.

Since there is a whole lot of wisdom out there I'm going to ask another question.

My Father-in-law had a stroke last Aug. Once out of rehab he threw out the physical therapist, said it was stupid to squeeze a little ball and stetch a rubber band. Now he can hardly walk and sits around watching TV. He loves woodworking, but has slowed on that too. His shop is about 300 feet from their backdoor and he now has to drive to the shop because the walking causes pain. We don't think the pain is related to the stroke, but something else, pinched nerve, lower back, something like that, but he won't go get it checked out. He only wants to use the local family practioner.

DH tried to get him to walk in town but he won't, it will make him look foolish.

My mother-in-law is afraid he will be bedridden by Christmas if this keeps up.

Do any of you have suggestions on how we can get him moving?

Thanks.

-- jennifer (schwabauer@aol.com), June 27, 2001.

Who is helping him dress, fix his meals, make his bed, do his laundry, etc.? You may wish to leave him hungry (for instance) until he makes his own bagel and cream cheese. Or insist he take his dirty clothes downstairs or they won't get washed. Someone must be helping him in his illusion of independence. If that someone were to decrease their help, he would 'have to' increase his ability or return to therapy to gain what he was missing.

-- Anne (HealthyTouch101@wildmail.com), June 27, 2001.

I too, have been pondering some of these same questions. Getting older has to be considered but it is not a time to "stop" living. I am past 55 and am starting out to Homestead again. I am looking for land in WV or Ky, or possibly TN. I am not a "spring chicken" any longer and wondered if I could handle homesteading again (gave it up many years ago..due to family break-up, etc.) but my heart yearns to be back in the "hollow" with my trees, animals, garden, peace and satisfaction of soul. So, as many commented, I decided to go for it and will adjust living to my needs.

Sometimes I wondered if it is foolish for a lone woman to start over again on a homestead. I read experiences and thoughts on this subject here on the Forum and the wonderful CS folks always encourage me while sharing different views, suggestions, positive thinking,,,and yes, what better place to struggle than on your own country place.****In the meantime I do pot and box gardening. I do all my own yard work and work full-time at a store in town. I find myself day-dreaming at work about being back in WV,homesteading. I am so anxious to get on my own land again. Will probably camp on it for awhile til I can get a trailer set up.

I think I will start a green house, a garden, flowers everywhere, raise a few chickens, raise AKC puppies, and horses (A few) Have open picnic, camping area for my friends and family. Sounds so wonderful!!

I am planning a trip to WV next year to make decisions on "where" to settle. Will most likely move at that time. Can't wait.... >p>I am going to print out all these wonderful comments on this thread and ponder on them..I appreciate this Forum so very much...Take care..and may all of you have a wonderful summer...

-- Patsy, MT (cpc-1@care2.com), June 28, 2001.

This is a response to Jennifer: I suspect that he is very angry...at life, at his inability, whatever. I don't know if he would talk with a specialist with this situation, but it may help.

-- Ardie from WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), June 28, 2001.

Response to Patsy, MT: NO, NO, NO! It's never to late! You go girl! All these entries are a support system for me to keep going. Ye-haw and happy trails! -debra in nm

-- debra in nm (dhaden@nmtr.unm.edu), June 28, 2001.

We have been living as much a homesteading lifestyle as is possible for years. Wynn retired last August, so now it's our turn to do as we wish. We are planning to build a strawbale house, at least a small barn - connected to the house by a covered walkway so we can get to the barn in snow, ice, etc. Our house is being planned to American Disability standards so if we ever become disabled, we can still stay in our home. I've done a lot of raised bed gardening and will have many raised beds close to our new home. Since there is little flat land around here, in Virginia, the sloping land lends itself nicely to terracing with raised beds. I plan on having them at waist level to make working them even easier as we age. We will work with small animals, rabbits, chickens, etc, rather than raise cattle for milk and meat. May get into goats but the thought of all the work and expense involved in the fencing they need will keep me thinking on goats for a while longer.

We are looking into building a home with space for a second family - possibly on a second floor. Hopefully, we will be able to attract a younger family, with youngsters, and they will move in and take over the things we can't do for ourselves when that time comes.

I had some scary chest pains last month, which turned out to be stress related and not serious heart trouble. We live so far out in the woods that it took the ambulance 35 minutes to get here - on a flat out emergency run. Like others have said, I understand that if either of us has a really critical heart problem, chances are that the ambulance couldn't get here in time. So it's our informed choice to live here, knowing that quick emergency care isn't possible. So be it. The benefits of living this way are so many that we are happy with our lives faaaaaarrrr away from the nearest emergency room. When the time comes, as it does for everyone, Virginia allows us to be buried on the land we have so loved. And that's a very satisfying thought for both of us.

-- Carol Mora (carollm@rockbridge.net), June 30, 2001.

For me the whole homestead experience is about enjoying the process. As we have gotten older we have tryed to work "smarter" and examine our priorities. Some of the things I am doing now I wish I had done from the very beginning because it lightens the load. I have reduced the size of my goat herd to a more manageable number and enjoy them so much more. The same with the amount of chickens, rabbits, calves, pigs................more just raising for ourself and finding that is so much better than worrying about trying to make a buck. We have an old hay bailer and we can set the size of the bales so we have made them much smaller and easier to handle. We only put down small amounts of hay at a time and make hay all summer instead of those huge, back breaking loads we used to do. My ideal death would be either milking my goats, or out in the garden weeding. I know that each year I can do a little less, but then I eat a little less also.

Our retirement funds are small, but we raise all our own food and heat with wood. We have decided we will probably do this until it is impossible to do it alone any more and then if none of the children or grandchildren want to live here, we will get a young Amish couple to live here and leave the farm to them.

-- diane (gardiacaprines@yahoo.com), June 30, 2001.

This is for Jennifer. I think your father-in-law is suffering from an assault to his view of himself in the world. Most likely he sees himself as crippled and diminished and he's troublesome because of that. In a more perfect world he could spend a few days with a Native American story teller but that's probably not an option. More realistically could you get him into a support or chat group with people who have coped with similar problems? If your father-in-law could alter his view of himself in a more positive direction I believe he would feel much better.

Finally,I appreciate how hard this is for you and other involved family members. You have my best wishes.

-- Delwin Cahoon (dcahoon@ellijay.com), June 30, 2001.

My dh is 66 & I am 48. We moved to our homestead last year. The problems of getting older was something we considered, since dh has a bum heart & I have back problems. Our old place was getting crowded, so we decided to chance it. The hospital is farther away, especially in the winter. We hope that one of the children will want to live here after growing up, or maybe we could find a young family to join us - we have both a cabin & a house. My dh tries to plan things so I'll be able to handle the work without him. We would both rather die here than in the suburbs or in an old folks home. We're still trying to figure out how to get buried the way we want - no fancy coffins.

-- Bonnie (stichart@plix.com), July 03, 2001.