What's your monster?

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What's your monster? What horrible, semi-pointless task is haunting you? How long have you put it off? Will you ever get around to it? Does it really matter, anyway? Would the world end if you just blew it off?

Are you good about taking care of small boring tasks as they crop up, or do you push them all back until they become huge?

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001

Answers

Beth, I think you were living in my office when you wrote your entry. My office is pathetic. I have five simultaneous projects going on, I let my voicemail answer so I can be prepared when I call people back. Under my desk? It's a fucking disaster area that makes me want to cry sometimes - which is when I minimally clean to ease my pain. I don't lose things, though. They're here, just not here.

I think my big problem is that I work in an office with a bunch of neat freaks. I've had to order people out of my office when they start to pick up stuff or get that "cleaning" look in their eye.

I've come to grips with it though, more or less. That's just my personality type. I can't just hang onto one activity - I have to be able to do a little of this, a little of that. And thankfully, my boss is understanding, even if my coworkers look at my desk and scream!!

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001


That two bedroom house still hasn't been packed yet. The only thing I've done is the kitchen. I could have done it in the three weeks that I had before I moved, but instead I goofed off and accomplished Sweet Fanny Adams instead.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001

I like the word "instead" today.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001

You mean besides the 344 half-, quarter- and almost-completed grad school apps I'm currently obsessing over?

All of my tasks haunt me. Really. Pointless, important, vital, meaningless. They are all horrible and things I put off until the last minute.

I don't know if I'm especially lazy, or particularly pathetic, but I have a very, very hard time getting motivated for anything at all. My work style is: get an assignment, head to my desk, and immediately start writing emails. Then, an hour later, I poke at what I'm supposed to do to, and then immediately go off and spend twenty minutes reading Salon, and then come back and poke poke again, and then wander off to get a cup of coffee. It's hard for me to start, hard for me to continue, and finishing is always cause for celebration.

Despite my really sad work ethic, I always always manage to finish things by deadline. Stunningly. This means that things with deadlines are good things, because then I finish them. No deadline on painting the apartment? The Home Depot bag will sit sadly under the kitchen table until I die, or move, or both.

I'm thinking I may just have a really poor attention span. Or, of course, I could be disgustingly lazy. Or something.

[case in point! as I type this, an update to the benefits section of the company's website is languishing.]

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001


It was my house. I moved in last August. August 1 to be exact. A nice Wednesday. Easy move this as I hired movers to do the actual lifting and carrying.

Thursday I went to work.

Friday I left on vacation for a week.

When I returned, the piles were still there. The fridge had broken down and so there was a nice pile of rotten meat. The place needed to be painted and cleaned.

Up until June 7.. ie a couple of weeks ago, and nearly 10 months after I moved, I had unpacked boxes. Quite a few of them. Sitting in my living room against the wall...MOCKING ME. My mother was coming to visit - which was quite the motivator. It took me a few nights after work. Not all that long and it was finally done. 10 months it took.

Well except for the few boxes of paper that I need to figure out what do do with. You know those boxes of "memories"- cards and notes, and all the crap. There are a few of those in the closets. They are my new monster, but as far as Im concerned. I didn't unpack them last time, and they won't get unpacked this time.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001



Our studio space. Just typing those three words has brought on a pounding headache.

It has to be organized, cleaned, and painted. I can't work back here anymore - it drives me nuts, all the crap everywhere, piles of boxes, dustbunnies, unfiled stuff, stacks of CD's, music and software, all mixed up and in the wrong cases, old catalogues I think I want to keep, my artist husband's copious art supplies, and the fact that it is a yellow box - bright yellow walls, and bright yellow ceiling. I come back here every morning, sit down at my desk, and the disorganization derails any attempt to get work done.

Have put it off for about 18 months. This summer i have ambitious plans involving cleaning it,and building shelves in the closet, and painting it. I don't know if I shall succeed. I need motivation. Someone want to come over and kick my ass? I just know if other people saw this room it would shame me into organizing it.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001


Class readings. This idiot, goody two shoes student decided during a presentation to ask if anyone had done the readings. No one put their hand up. So the TA demands that we have the readings done each class. To make sure, he's giving us pop quizzes. I haven't had a pop quiz in about 6 years! I have reports to do, an exam, 2 papers to do, but no! I'm doing readings. Each reading is about 100 pages and the pop quiz for the reading is worth .025% of my final mark.

I've worked it out and it's going to cost about $77 to photocopy all the readings. I'm so dreading this, I don't want to do this, and it's a waste of time. But if I don't do them the fucking TA will have a temper tantrum. I've got an exam worth 30% of my final mark, but I have to spend several hours doing readings for these 2 quizzes worth .5% of my final mark. I'm ranting, I must stop.

I best get back to my readings. GRRRRRRR.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001


I have to live with someone else's monster.

Piles of yellowing newspaper sections that my husband swears he is "GOING TO READ" (growled at me as I threaten to recycle them), piles of videos that he has taped but has nowhere to store, piles of museum pamphlets, fliers, maps, gift-store informational book purchases, and show programs that he can't actually bring himself to let go of but has no place to file. Bankers boxes of files that need to go into a filing cabinet piled around the edges of the living room and dining room, getting in the way, blocking my meager attempts at housecleaning.

Last weekend I told him it was purchase filing cabinets or prepare for divorce, his choice. I can tolerate a lot of clutter, but it is all starting to make me itch. We're picking up the cabinets tonight so there is some relief on the horizon.

That tack worked so well, in fact, that I think next weekend I'll threaten divorce over the newspaper piles. Although, he seems so attached to those that I'm not so sure what he'll choose.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001


Well, I guess I'm in the minority who thinks it doesn't matter.

I have lots of piles of stuff around, literally. My husband hates it, but it doesn't bother me a lot. I have all these craft projects I've started and then put aside. I have all these piles of magazines and newspapers that I really do intend to read someday.

I guess the one that feels monstrous is the yard. There's all this stuff we want to do but we can't seem to get started. So it bugs me every time I think about it.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001


A buddy of mine who is a freelance photographer asked me if I would help him redo his website and set it up so that he could sell his artwork online.

I agreed, because I haven't gotten a chance to play around with credit card processing systems yet and it should make a good addition to my portfolio.

Well, that was in January. Part of the problem is lack of time on my part. A bigger part of the problem is a lack of understanding on his part that just because he can pump out a bad website in half an hour using FrontPage, doesn't mean I can make a good website in a day.

He also keeps trying to make design changes, even though he has no experience in design and I've consulted with three professional designers with close to half a century of experience between them.

He's not paying me a cent for this, by the way.

Anyway, it's beginning to feel like the hot rod from that Home Improvement show... the project that the main character is always working on for years but never finishes.

I want to start looking for a better job but I keep saying, "well, if I can just finish up the project that will be a good thing for my resume." I want to start learning to cook and exercising, but I keep telling myself that I have to finish the project first. Pretty much everything I want to do is for some reason on hold because of this project, but I've grown so tired of it that for the past month I've just procrastinated every day and gotten nothing done (well, I did have to deal with moving across town during that time. And I'm dating someone again, so that affects my schedule.)

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001



For a long time, my monster was the filing (like Beth). Just about as bad, because we have a business and I'd process through the paperwork and then put it in a pile to be filed... and it would keep sitting there. I'd keep hoping the Filing Fairy would happen along, but damned if that didn't happen. After a while, it just took over the house and I spent more time looking for something than I would have needed to do the thing I had to do once I found the item I needed.

I hired a lady who advertises as an "organizer" and she was very affordable. (If we waited for me to do it, we'd never find a damn thing again.) She not only filed everything, but revamped how I filed and how I processed the paperwork so that I don't have to do nearly as much to get it to stay organized. I am thrilled. Last year if Carl asked me for a simple thing ("Where's that bid on such and such?") I'd get pissed, because I knew I didn't know the exact location and "halfway down the third pile on the left-hand side of the door" isn't exactly a good answer. Now... it's in a file. Whoooeeeee!

I've been ignoring another monster -- the pennies / nickels we have in containers around here. Lots of pennies. Tons of them. Need to take them to the bank. It's all so heavy, I'll have to get help and we'll still make several trips carrying the stuff inside. Totally dumb.

The worst (guilt-inducing) monster right now is the web site I designed for my son's wrestling team. I'm only six months behind in getting the state tournament photos up and they're about to start practicing for next year. I feel horrible, but I can never seem to get the damn photos scanned in.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001


The big ass pile of boxes that is in practically every room in my house is the monster that won't die. I moved a week ago and it just seems like it's never going to ever freakin' end.

Mind you, I'm also taking care of two kids, working part-time and doing housework, so I'm not procrastinating entirely.

I hate moving. I hate boxes. I hate waking up to boxes at the foot of my bed.

I'm down to five boxes downstairs in the livingroom. The bedrooms are another thing altogether. My bedroom is floor to ceiling boxes and while I've removed 4 wardrobe boxes, you can't hardly tell.

*whine*

I'd like a slab of cheese with that, please.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2001


I have five carboys of mead and cider sitting in my basement waiting to be bottled. It's been down there so long that it's not likely even drinkable any more.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2001

My monster was my desk. You couldn't see what color it was. We had a big party and I just practically pulled an Andy Warhol time capsule and brushed it all off into a big box. Its really all receipts from bills I've paid. sigh.

Now its the kitchen floor. which can't seem to get mopped after that party.

It might be nice if we reupholstered the chairs so stuffing didn't come out everytime anyone sat in them. that's been around since September. dammit.

I am not good at taking care of small boring tasks. I'm good at taking care of big ones. I can never figure out how to file.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2001


T-shirts. That's all. Just T-shirts. For internet cafe staff. I have to design them and come up with a slogan - and it's a WORK task, worse still. I think my boss has forgotten, but memory returns eventually.

I'm supposed tobe a creative person, and it's such an EASY thing, but I draw a huge, fat, listless blank every time I think of it. Really, how hard can it be, girl?

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2001



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