Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do:

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.

(1) The woman goes to the store. (2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer. (4) The man places the meat on the grill. (5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables. (6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. (7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman. (8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table. (9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. (10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2001

Answers

The elderly couple across the street own a place at the beach. I see them leaving to go down there, packing the car with grocery sacks and ice chests full of groceries and household supplies that the wife has shopped for. The night before, the wife has also made potato salad, chicken salad and other "fixin's." When they arrive at the beach, the wife will prepare and/or cook all breakfasts, lunches and snacks and they will go out for dinner. While they're there, the wife will clean house and the husband will do maintenance chores. When they come back, the ice chest will be full of seafood, which the wife will cook in the next day or two.

This is a vacation???

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2001

Beckie, are you implying I'm not a real man? :(

The only part that that I fit into was drinking beer, which I usually do when cooking. It helps me keep track of cooking times, by knowing how much beer I can drink in the amount of time it takes a certain dish to cook... most of the menu's I plan revolve around things that can be timed in half-beer increments....

-- Anonymous, May 31, 2001