I have been diagnosed with BPD, I don't find a real appreciation for the experiences of people like myself. Yes, they say its got to do with childhood trauma and sexual abuse, but what I find missing is a deep appreciation and empathy for past and present experiences that make you distrustful of people, and even of life in general, angry, fearful, and depressed. On the ward, my perception of things are always questioned--put into a convenient and neat box of paranoia and oversensitivity. Attention seeking is what they have labelled me. That's really easy and can be injurious. People like me are already full of self-doubt, and when people are dismissive of the pain and hurt you've encountered, it only engenders even greater self-doubt --leaving you feeling the problem is not the people who have disrupted and ruined your life, the problem is YOU and your perception of things.

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2001

Answers

Who do you think has labelled you an attention seeker

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

All the staff here.Is my "attention seeking" what interests you the most when talking to me?

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Julie, i understand that you are angry and do not appreciate having being diagnosed with BPD, you have a right to be. you feel that there is lack of empathy and this makes you distrustful of people. Julie when you refer to people, does that refer to me? (silence). Julie, i understand that you feel hurt by being labelled attention seeking and you now feel the problem is you and the way you perceive things. if the situation was different julie and staff appreciated and did not always question you perceptions, how would it make you life better?

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

Julie, You feel angry, fearful and depressed about being diagnosed with BPD and called atention seeker by staff. As a result Julie, you feel staff do not appreciate and empathise with you to the extent that it has made you distrustful of people leaving you feeling the problem is you. I'm I right?.

-- Anonymous, November 04, 2001

Gus Malahleka, I have already said it is not my perceptions that are the problem but the people on the ward. They are the ones that have labelled me.

-- Anonymous, November 04, 2001

Julie, I do agree with you what you said about past and present experiences affecting your feeling. It is quite normal for you, or for everybody. Do you mean your perception of things is not been appreciated on the ward, which made you doubt yourself?

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2001

Hi Julie, Real appreciation for other peoples experiences can be difficult. Can you explain to me, so that I can have a better understanding of you. What makes you say that you find your missing a deep appreciation and empathy for past and present experiences? Do you remember having any experiences in your past that may attribute to these feelings?

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2001

Julie, why is it you feel the need to harm yourself? Can you please tell me what sort of push you or encourage you to harm yourself? What do you feel when you have harmed yourself?

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2001

Julie, you must be feeling really bad at the moment and it is not easy being in hospital and having a mental health diagnosis, But it is not your fault that you have an illness and we the nurses are here to help you to accept the illness and to learn to leave with it and possibly find a way to defeat the illness. we are here for you to talk to and I persinally will be willing to spend time with you if you need to talk to someone.

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2001

it sounds to me julie that you perceive people who are supposed to be helping you are lacking in emotion and attitudes toward your illness.This has done hurt you and done nothing to dispell your self- doubt. may l suggest that you tell your keyworker all these concerns which are distressing you and explore with her how you can deal with other people's perceptions whether false or justifiable as everyone in life has to deal with other peoples perceptions of us just or unjust they may be.

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2001

Julie l understand where you coming from, the nurses are not dismissive they are trying to help although it sounds as if its not help l agree with you there is nothing like attention seeking.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hi Julie, i can see you are frustrated of being labelled an attention seeker. Also being diagnosed with BPD has left you feeling very angry and let down by everyone around you, you have the right to feel this way. Julie as your key nurse i am here to help you get over this traumatic experience and you are welcome to ventilate your feelings and thoughts to me perharps things will start to improve.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Julie darling, I really understand how you feel about your diagnosis (BPD). I can see you do not trust and have faith in people around you, but as your named nurse, I want to reassure you that we as individuals have different attitudes and attributes.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Julie, i can see that you are frustrated with yourself, why do you feel that no one understands your hurting?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Mongameli, why are you passing me over to someone else? Do you not want to talk to me? Do you think you know how i am feeling? Do you think I am attention seeking too and you don't have time for me?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Josephine Lewis, i appreciate what you are saying about everyone being individual but how can you have any idea about my feelings about my diagnosis. Have you ever been diagnosed with BPD?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Julie darling, I can see you do not trust and have faith in people around you, but as your named nurse, I can reassure you that we as individuals have different attitudes and attributes.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Julie, you feel people are not appreciative of your perception and that you are not happy about their attitudes towards you.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hi Julie I can see that you have genuine concerns which need to be addressed. In as much as I appreciate your concerns, I think you should come to terms with some of those unavoidable paradoxes that life presents and try to gain some strength from such knowledge.This will help you to cope and understand human behaviour!

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Julie, i recognise and appreciate your assertiveness towards contibuting to your care package and the expression of your desire to be heard, and that is good on your part. my aim is to incorpate into your care plan, as much as possible, your views on how best we can improve the current situation. in order to achieve this i will ask you to tell me what recent events have triggered these feelings you have towards the staff and how you have dealt with the situations.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Julie, I appreciate your worries and concern not only about your diagnosis but also about people arround you who are supposed to be appreciative of what you have been through. You however sound resentful and I can tell you, peoples feeling towards you are not exactly as you described it, we are very much concerned too and we are all here to help in what ever way we can. So please feel free to approach any member of staff to discus your concern. I am sure they will be more than willing to help.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hi, JUlie, I'm a student nurse. I like to help others, I sometimes get upset once in a while. Think of all the things you have done well and not be cast down by your mistakes. I would like to build a rapport with you so that you can ventilate your feelings.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hie Julie,

In other words you are full of self-doubt, because of the way you percerve things. I wonder how long have you felt this way? Have the feelings just started recently, or have you always felt like this?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hi Julie I can hear your frustration, it sounds to me that you feel isolated and no one has truly taken the time to listen. You feel as though staff have made up their minds about you before getting to know and listen to your unspoken words is that correct? You are also feeling the effect of being laballed and in turn you are beginning to believe what is said about you.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hi Julie I can hear your frustration, it sounds to me that you feel isolated and no one has truly taken the time to listen. You feel as though staff have made up their minds about you before getting to know and listen to your unspoken words is that correct? You are also feeling the effect of being laballed and in turn you are beginning to believe what is said about you, this is what i can understand

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hi Julie, I agree with you on some of things you have said i.e. the neat box of paranoia... I think for me to fully understand how you are feeling is for you to describe in detail one of the experiences that makes you distrustful and angry. And then tell what response or action that would have showed appreciation and empathy for your past experiences.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hi Julie , i am sorry to know that you feel that way ,but sometimes you have to understand that unless one has had the same experience as you they would not understand fully how much they are hurting you,anyway tell me how you would want to be treated and i will help you work towards that.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

YEA JULIE, I KNOW IT MUST BE PRETTY AWFUL, FOR U TO PUT UP WITH ALL THESE FEELINGS THAT PEOPLE ARE PROJECTING, AND THE WAY THEY ARE REACTING TOWARDS U.BUT DON'T FORGET, THOSE PEOPLE ARE NOT TRYING TO HARM U IN ANY WAY.INSTEAD, THEY ARE JUST TRYING THEIR BEST TO HELP U.BUT I'M HAPPY THAT U CAN RECOGNISE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT U DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH, REGARDING THE NURSES'S ATTITUDES & BEHAVIOURS.SO I'LL SUGGEST U TRY TO DISCUSS THOSE ISSUES WITH YOUR KEY NURSE AND THEN TAKE IT FROM THERE.HOWEVER, FEEL FREE TO COME TO SEE ME IF U WANT TO DISCUSS ANY OTHER MATTERS......

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Julie if I understand you correctly, are you saying that your past expiriences could have led you to develop self doubt. How has these expiriemces influenced your perception of the nurses who are here to help you?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

What you have to understand Julie is that nurses are not super-human beings. We still have our faults and weaknesses. We do fall prey to prejudices and stigmas.In so trying to dispell these and understand you, the clients better, we tend to use, at times, a questioning approach. This I feel is in no way aimed at belittling or undermining your contributions to your care. What i suggest to you is that you try to help us help you. You seem to me to be a victim of this stigmatising as you refer to people ruining your life.....???? Is it over yet Julie. Lets look at the present and future and not dwell in the past.....(had to terminate the conversation as it was handover time.)

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

It seems to me that you feel that peolpe on the ward misunderstand you and instead of helping you they give you labels and and then insist that everything you do is indicative of the label they give you. I can understnd that you feel distressed about this situation and that it does not dispell your feeling of self doubt. What I suggest is that I inform my colleagues that their labelling distresses you and hopefully you would feel more at ease when interacting with them or myself . Do you feel that this may be a positive step ?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

hie julie, why do you think you have been labelled as attention seeking? how can they have a deep appreciation and empathy for past and present experiences when you do not open up to them or when you do not want to discuss certain issues any further?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Hi Julie,

I understand you miss deep appreciation and empathy for the past, but sometimes it helps to work through them to enable yourself to move on.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

How do you feel people should respond to your situation?

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

hi,julie,i understand how you are feeling,especially, the part of being labelled attention-seeking;we all want to be listened to when we are feeling down.i would like to hear more about what you have been through.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Julie, I agree with you that understanding your past and present experiences will help to understand where you are coming from. Would you like to tell me more about those experiences? When we question your perceptions, we will be trying to explore your thoughts and feelings in order to find ways of assisting you. Though I am your key nurse, the ward team are here to help you feel free to approach them.

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2001

Let me understand this clearly julie, you are saying the people on the ward are the problem because they have labelled you. when you say the people, julie do you mean staff?

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2001

Hi julie i know you are depressed because you are been diagnosed with BPD, as your key Nurse i am here to work and suppot you as long as you are ready to engage with me

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2001

What do you feel would be a more appropriate response to your situation? You must have some ideas yourself

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2001

it sounds to me Julie that you feel l am rejecting you,presumed to know your feelings and have prejudged you.Is that how you feel Julie?

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2001

Dear Julie I understand that while you have been diagnosed with BDP, you feel upset and feel that the nurses do not show any empathy for you and therefore you do not thrust them. Let me tell you Julie that being your allocated nurse on the ward, I am willing to work and spend time with you but you will have to trust me.

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2001

Hi, Julie, it's Mary. I understand your feelings of anger and I also appreciated the point you make when said people like you are already full of self doubt and also being labelled as attention seeking is not good at all . Julie, I would like to continue to interact with you more and I am sure that working together we will be able to find a way for you to help yourself and feel valued. God Bless Mary

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2001

it's seems that you havea alot of issues that you want to address.you've said that you have feelings of anger, fear and depression Julie, and that you are full of self doubt. would you like us to talk about these things?

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

If i understand you correctly Julie you said they call you attention seeking.What do you think of it? Who is callig you attention seekig? Is this affecting you in any other particular way ?

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

dear julie, i know you feel very upset, but as your key nurse i am willing to work and spend time with you but you need to trust me

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

it is better to focus on the problem than blem yourself.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

Dear Julie, I believe it is not easy to be diagnosed with BPD.Who do you think has labelled you? The staff is there to help and support you.You need to trust them to help you.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2001

Dear Julie

I agree with you there is nothing like attention seeking you have't been labelled your perceptions are part of your illness there nothing wrong with that.

-- Anonymous, November 11, 2001

i do appriciate your need for empathy,but it takes knowing one another for one to understand what the other one is really like ,hence know each other`s needs.

-- Anonymous, November 12, 2001

Do I understand that you feel so misunderstood and misjudged that you feel you are not getting the help that you should be getting? I can understand how difficult it must be for you. I just want you to know that Iam here for you, should you want to discuss this further.

-- Anonymous, November 13, 2001

Julie,if I understood you correctly, you feel disappointed with the way you are being treated.I could imagine how upset you are.how would you feel if we deal with eachother without any mistrust.I am here to help you to deal with your concerns ,hence, would it be o.k with you to talk specifically about your perceptions and what make you doubt people like me.

-- Anonymous, November 13, 2001

Julie, you seem to have many things going on in your life at the moment. You feel staff are not understanding your situation. Is this the most important issue for you at the moment?

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2001

Hi Julie, I do appreciate your concern that you do not like the idea of being labelled as attention seeking ,...I do think it can create self doubt.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2001

Julie, I appreciate your concern regarding your diagnosis as BPD. I think we have to try and come to terms with some of thes things in life. Putting the label aside, I want us to explore the issue further. Could you please tell more about some of the significant turning points in your life?

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

Dear Julie, Childhood plays an important role in a persons life.There are therapies that can help you coping with these problems ,CBT would be effective for you.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

testing

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2001

Dear Julie,

I trully believe that once you start adopting a positive attitude towards your life you might be surprise how others perception could change.The problem is YOU.Give it a thought.I will arrange to see you again so that we can discuss important issues .

-- Anonymous, November 19, 2001

Julie you have mentioned alot of different emotions that you are experiencing and are going through, you have also mentioned events that have happened in your childhood and of "people" being dismissive of pain you have encountered, it seems to me that we should talk about these feelings further

-- Anonymous, November 19, 2001

Julie, you seem to have very negative thoughts about yourself and your past,you feel that the staff is not very empathetic towards you. could you tell me more about your life experiences and what makes you so angry?

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001

Dear Julie l know it can be disappointing to be labelled and to be perceived as an attention seeker however it would help if we talk about it.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001

Hi Julie,

Julie, I appreciated the fact that you do not want to be labelled as an attention seeker. I would want to hear more of your problems and see how best we can work together to improve your quality of life.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001

ijulie i do fully apreciate the fact that u feel it is not really need the label being attached to you because of your experinces. i think you should not refer to your self as "people like myself"

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

Julie, I understand that you have been and still going through such feelings, pain and tension in you. I believe in you, its not easy to dismiss your situation. Could you please stress the degree of pain,feelings and tension you are going through at the moment?

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2001

Do not think a lot about BPD it's like any other form of illness usually it comes with childhood trauma and sexaul abuse but it does not mean that very one is like that l'm sorry about the attention seeking part l understand how you feel.

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2001

No one is dismissive of your pain you have got to start thinking positively in life. There is nothing wrong about your perceptions.

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2001

julie, this situation appears to be overwhelming you. in what ways can nursing staff help you with self confidence?

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2001

Julie, when people question your perception of things they may be trying to understand your problems. Try and have positive attitude towards offered assistance.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2001

i do understand the feelings that you must be going through because of some problems in your life. the most important thing is that you recognise how you could get better with help

-- Anonymous, February 22, 2002