I asked Nick this and his reply was "are you trying to tell me something? Should I be paying attention to you, this time?"

But what I meant was I was reading an article about a woman arrested for hiring a hit man to kill her husband.The hit man turned out to be an undercover cop.You see this all the time. I'm just trying to figure it out.Is there some number that is published somewhere that is really undercover cops? How is it these people keep getting so unlucky?

No ,I'm really not planning anything.I am pretty pumped up on hormones tonight,and that's probably why I even thought this up, but I'm not looking for a hitman.Really.It's purely scientific research. Really. I swear.

Nick didn't believe me either.He says he'll be sleeping with one eye open from now on. Geeez,can't someone ask a simple question?

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), January 12, 2001

Answers

Thanks for the humor Sharon! Neil & I were watching some show on TV not too long ago where a woman was arrested for arranging for somebody to whack her husband..turns out she had asked a total of four different guys! How dumb can one person be? I think with one man, it was their first meeting over coffee. "Hi there. I'll have a Late with cinnamon. By the way, do you know anyone who would be willing to kill my husband?" In every case I have heard about, the spouse made the request of people they barely knew. Can you imagine? No wonder the folks being asked call the police and report it..DUH. God bless.

-- Lesley (martchas@bellsouth.net), January 13, 2001.

Yes, Sharon. There really is a hitman hotline and the FBI answers the phones ! Usually it is done with ads in the back of survivalists magazines. The ad reads something like---" Mercenary for hire--Dirty deeds done dirt cheap". Also, there are career informants who go round trying to meet members of certain well established militias. There only purpose is greed and many times they create a crime where none existed. Case in Point, Ruby Ridge.---The informant sawed off two shotguns using the Weaver's shop vise than presented the guns to authorities as purchased from Randy Weaver. His sole motive was money and a woman and child ended up dead. We really need to stop this paid informant, plea bargin justice system where the innocent arejailed and the murderers move straight to their next victim !

-- Joel Rosen (Joel681@webtv.net), January 13, 2001.

Hi Sharon,

I would have thought all that cold weather would have cooled you down somewhat. :>)

I have a thought and some minor advice. 1) I hope Nick survives the winter, and 2) The advice is go read your thread on "Have you stepped in it---".

-- JLS in NW AZ (stalkingbull007@AOL.com), January 13, 2001.

Sharon: I too, have wondered when I read those articles, where on earth people find hit "persons" (I'm trying to be politically correct, here!). Not that I wanted one, but just curious! Recently in the news in Colorado Springs, there was a barber, now retired and living in New Mexico, who was the go between for a husband and hit man, responsible for two murders, years ago! Guess like hairdressers, barbers get all the gossip, and the man must have mentioned something about wanting to get rid of his wife! Seems easier to just leave.... Jan

-- Jan in Colorado (Janice12@aol.com), January 13, 2001.

Sharon, do you know the movie "Love You to Death"? Nick, you better sleep with both eyes open.

-- Sam in W.Va. (turnip55a@yahoo.com), January 13, 2001.

Somebody needs to get out more.

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), January 13, 2001.

I think Joey Buttafucco offers this service, Or you might want to check with OJ. :)

-- hillbilly (internethillbilly@hotmail.com), January 13, 2001.

First the neighbors, then the snowmen and now Nick...poor Nick...

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), January 14, 2001.

In this part of the world, to 'knock off' someone is not the same as 'bumping them off', knocking off ones' spouse is something most people here like to do themselves.

-- john hill (john@cnd.co.nz), January 14, 2001.

Oh my,John.I think I have stopped laughing long enough to type this.Now THAT is what I was really talking about.That's right.You just thought I was talking about doing Nick in and I was just talking about,you know, doing him. See how misunderstandings start?

Well,in light of recent developements here,perhaps this isn't the best thread to have on ,at this particular moment.Some unstable person might get the wrong idea.Where is that retract button when you need it?

Geez,you say something over & over, and people still don't believe you.

I'll tell you again,Nick is pefectly safe, just as long as he continues to perform up to expectations.OK?

Yeah JLS-something is stinky-guess I mighta stepped in it again. Woodpecker droppings, most likely.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), January 14, 2001.

Sharon, I for one believe you. I've always wondered the same thing myself. I don't have the courage that you have. Some questions are better left in my head!

-- Linda (wklkmorgan@ifriendly.com), January 15, 2001.

Right Sharon! Anyone else notice Nick hasn't posted anything in awhile? !!!

-- Joy Froelich (dragnfly@chorus.net), January 15, 2001.

Sharon, don't do it, when you get caught and go to prison, you'll have to share a shower with other women, no shower curtains, think of it, women our age having to shower in front of strangers!!!??? This thought has kept me straight all these years, tee-hee, ha-ha!!! Really, get the progesterone cream quick!!!

-- Annie Miller in SE OH (annie@1st.net), January 15, 2001.

All right that's it.I'm outta here.I'm taking my toys and going home.I try & try to tell you people the RIGHT way to think and do, but you just won't see it my way.Well, you'll be sorry!!!(lots of sarcasm).

Nick's not here right now,or I'd have him give you a piece of his mind,too.He's around....somewhere.That man is always disappearing.

Boy,I'm starting to scare myself.I'm beginning to sound like my favorite Scarlet woodpecker.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), January 16, 2001.

Poison them or run them over with the tractor !

-- Patty (fodfarms@hotmail.com), January 16, 2001.

Oh no Patty.Et tu? Tell me it ain't so.Annie sez that there cream, why it'll fix you up right good.Sez it'll feel like you're in Nirvana,or Havanna, or maybe Texas, or some such place not from around these parts,anyway.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), January 16, 2001.

Hey,Patty I just told "Nick" what you wrote ."Nick" says that he's already been run over with a tractor and that didn't work,His 'buns of steel' did break off a three inch bolt,though.

Been poisoned with an easter egg.Still here.

Hung,drowned "fell" off a roof, and butted a truck.

He's still around.Takes a lickin,keeps on tickin'

He always claimed to be immortal(Highlander).He doesn't seem to age, either. I'm getting suspicious.

Man,he's a tough one to get rid of.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), January 16, 2001.

John, I never forget the time I was working in England after being recently divorced. Met several very nice girls at the local pubs. The first time one asked me to "knock her up sometime", I about fell out of my chair. Was really excited until I found out what it meant.

-- JLS in NW AZ (stalkingbull007@AOL.com), January 16, 2001.

You people are SO funny! I never wanted to ask, but I often wondered what policemen did when they moonlighted! Now I'm afraid to ask! LOL!

-- Ardie from Wi (a6203@hotmail.com), January 16, 2001.

Sharon , If you could only post a picture of those buns of steeel !As far as the tractor it wasn't big enough .Hubby is on ,my good side now so I will have to think of more when he's in the dog house .

-- Patty (fodfarms@slic.com), January 16, 2001.

Those buns are seen by private showing only. Pictures not available. Also this is to let everyone know I am still around. There have been many attempts to shorten my stay on this earth, but like they say, "It's easier said then done" But really I am immortal. Now where did I leave that sword?

-- Nick (wildheart@ekyol.com), January 16, 2001.

When I lived in Dayton, OH I would have dinner with my attorney (of the female persuasion) every month or so (both before and after she married). Her unnamed clients were a frequent topic.

Her opinion was most people who commit crimes are dumb, well, OK, stupid. Like the woman asking around for someone, anyone, to kill her spouse. Your likelihood of getting caught probably grows on a geometric scale with each additional person brought into it.

Those who do commit a successful crime eventually have to brag about it and an informant will turn them in, not necessarily for money, but for points.

When they are arrested they spills the beans, which only makes the work of the police and prosecutor easier. There is no law which says someone questioning you has to tell the truth. Good cop, bad cop is a favorite game. Watch Law and Order sometime. Her advice was if someone is ever in this situation, just shut up. Don't say anything to anyone beyond your attorney. Just give a blank look to them. It is their job to have to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt to a jury of 12 of your peers. Just ask OJ.

Sharon, I know you are just kidding or asking the question in jest. However, for anyone seriously considering it, when the unnatural death of a spouse occurs, law enforcement will make the surviving spouse target #1. (Ask OJ about this also. And, yes, I will go to my urn convinced he did it.)

Old joke. This guy's best friend was a doctor. One day while playing golf he asked about how to off his wife. Doctor thought for a minute and said to have sex with her at least ten times a day. About a month later the doctor stopped by his house. As he approached the wife bounced out wearing a halter top which didn't waste any material and short, short shorts. Then he noticed a wiltered old man sitting in a rocker on the porch. Upon looking closer he finds it is his friend. Now knowing what to say the doctor comments on how well his wife looked. The guy replied, "Yup, she's looking pretty good for someone who's about to die."

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), January 19, 2001.