Does anyone know how long a person can live without water? My 83 year old grandfather had a stroke and his thoat is paralyzed. He cannot eat or drink for this reason. He refused tube feeding or any other forms of artificial life support. His IV has been removed because the fluid was getting into his lungs.

-- Tiffani Cappello (cappello@alltel.net), November 11, 2000

Answers

Tiffani: My mom died at home under hospice care and she lasted about a week when she stopped drinking water. It was a peaceful gentle death. I hope your familly is doing okay....Kirk

-- Kirk Davis (kirkay@yahoo.com), November 11, 2000.

They say that dehydration is a very peaceful way to pass. Once you are over the initial thirst, you gradually decline and drift off. Generally it takes about a week, but the variables lie in the patients condition prior to refusing fluids. Good Luck and God Bless

-- Dianne (yankeeterrier@hotmail.com), November 11, 2000.

Everyone is correct on this one. I work in longterm care and most live one week perhaps a few days more. The first time I observed this I thought it was cruel, but have since learned that forced hydration only brings prolonged suffering. Your lose is great enough with out knowing that you prolonged thier pain and suffering. Be sure to let your grandfather know how much you love him and spend as much time as you can with him.

-- Del (dgrinolds@gvtel.com), November 11, 2000.

"All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful: The Lord God made them all." " Sometimes there are no perfect words, only thoughtful silences that wisper softly of caring."

-- Richard V>Miller (richard.miller@1st.net), November 11, 2000.

I think its great you are respectimg his wishes .Take this time to make your peace tell him how much you love him .After everyone has made there peace let him know it's o.k. to go and you will miss him but it's o.k. to go .My mother-in-law died within10 mins of us telling her this .

-- Patty (fodfarms@slic.com), November 11, 2000.

Thank you and the family for respecting his wishes and may god give you the strength you need to say your goodbyes and wish him godspeed, on his way to a better place

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), November 11, 2000.

One thing you can do to make him more comfortable is to wet a washrag and bathe his mouth, tounge and lips with it, then use some vasoline to keep his lips from cracking. I did this for a friends father who was in the same situation, when he went he went peacefully. I hope I have people around me when it is my time who will let me go as you are. keeping people alive and forcing them to suffer should be against the law.

-- Tina (clia88@newmexico.com), November 11, 2000.

In hospice when a person has no intake we usualy say 3-5 days without liquids. Of course the persons physical condition plays in. I agree that you should all tell him how much you love him and also tell him what your future plans are and that it is OK to go on. Comfort measures include keeping the mouth moist, turning and repositioning for comfort, dim lights, not alot of noise, cleaning the mouth every hour or so, and lots of body rubs with lotion. Play music he likes. Talk about happy memories around him.Is he at home? He can be with hospice.Please remember this, even though he may not be able to respond, he can still hear and understand everything that is going on a round him. God bless you for honoring his wishes.

-- Terresa L Perry (stuperry@stargate.net), November 11, 2000.

Tiffani, we moved my Dad in with us in 1990 when he was dyeing of cancer. The nurse who helped us care for Daddy at home was there with us most of the time off & on, at the end! I didn't know about letting Daddy go! She sat down with me & said, your Dad has always relyed on you for everything, you have always been the one he has asked for. Now you have to be the one to tell him it is ok to leave!! Every night for months I had spent the night with him, when everone else left, for several weeks we were able to share & it was one of the closest experiences I had with my Dad. When he got worse --is when the nurse told me, I needed to let him go! So that night, I spent the whole night praying with Daddy & telling him that I was going to be alright & the rest of the family was going to be alright & I would take care of Mother for him--& when he went to heaven his sisters would be comming to get him & join him. He hadn't spoke for several days --but I heard him whisper "Jo"--the next morning, we called in all the rest of the family--I told Daddy, I was running an errand, & I as I left --I told him --"latier", as we never told each other goodbye. My hubby said, I hadn't closed the door, until Daddy left also!! After the funeral & I had time to think about things---my Dad called his oldier sister, Josie-- "Jo", she had died many years before--I like to think-Jo came to get Daddy--is why he called her name! My thoughts & my prayers are with you! Give him love & assure him it is ok to go!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), November 12, 2000.

Please make sure he has a will which specifies his desires. It will make it much easier for the family as his estate goes through probate. Many a family has been torn apart trying to settle an estate.

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), November 12, 2000.

Dear Tiffani, The standard rule of thumb is 'the threes', three minutes without air, three days without water, and three months without food.

Of course, it all depends on how dry the surrounding air is.

Be thankful, that your grandfather can make the decision, and that you've got several days to be with him. From experience, I can tell you it's a lot easier to lose someone when you know the end is near, and you can be there for them.

-- Phil Briggs (phillipbriggs@thenett.com), November 13, 2000.