Hi everyone! This really doesn't have anything to do with homesteading,I know,but since this forum is so much like a little town where all are friendly kin,I thought I'd share my story.[Sometimes it makes me feel better to talk when something has really bothered me.]

I went to visit my mom today to help her organize and clean her place a little(my little ones were with me as always so we didn't get as far as I hoped...)since my sister and her two children just moved out of my mom's.It was a little after 9:00 pm. wwhen I left. I was a bit nervous about leaving her as my dad wasn't home yet,so I told her she ought to lock her doors.She laughed and said that there were nothing but old people on her street-nothing on her street to worry about.So I said "Ok Mom.Bye!" and took off for home(a forty minute drive.)

Somewhere going through the main st area of the small city where my mom lives,a car pulled up behind me-driving entirely too close. "Bad driver!"thought I and continued on my way.[I wasn't paying the attention I should've to the car behind me because I was driving with my brights on due to a headlight just burning out this week-I wanted to be sure I flicked my brights off quickly before they bothered anyone.

As I crested a hill and slowed to stop at the light there,I noticed the car still very close but moving towards the right as if he wanted to turn.Accordingly,I moved to the left of my lane to let him squeeze by.Instead of squeezing by he pulled beside me and smiled and said something.He was a friendly looking,rather nice looking "gentleman"- probably between 60 and 65-(I'm only 28 btw.),utterly harmless looking, driving a ritzy black car with lightly tinted windows,so I rolled down my passenger window expecting him to inform me that my taillight was out or my tire going flat or else to kindly ask to "cut" in front of me.Instead,in a voice smooth as silk,he asked how was I doing.So I answered him "Fine".Smiling in response to his smile and wondering was this someone I knew(or was supposed to know),I was rather shocked when he next asked me if he could follow me.I stupidly said"Um,No I don't think so."in a voice ridiculously polite and even sweet!Ugh!!!

He smiled,rolled up his window and whipped his car rapidly to the right.I was scared to death honestly.What if this man follows me? [My two little ones were in the car with me half asleep in the back;I don't think he saw them.]I thought of pulling over at the well lit but deserted shopping center to phone my mom.No way!So I drove on because I knew there was a highway patrol station up ahead a few miles.The scariest thing about this was is that he looked like he was several cars behind me-perhaps this was just my imagination doing overtime ,however.

I drove on as quickly and safely as I could and turned into the highway patrol lot and parked,just in time to see a similar car go by on the main rd.Need I tell you that I was scared?I toyed with the idea of going in and telling them what was going on but decided that perhaps I was making a mountain out of a molehill as the saying goes.

Nevertheless,I was careful and observant(overly so?)the rest of the way.At a complex of gas stations and fast food places,I saw a similar car(thinking back,I'm pretty sure it was a different sort)at the gas staion on my right.So I whipped my car into the fast food place on the left(well-lit,lots of people)and turned the car around to watch. The other car went from the station to another fast food place and didn't come into view again,so I took off-accelerating up to 60 rather quickly.(I hardly ever speed!)

For the longest time there was nothing behind me and then there was something gaining on my car sort of quickly(to my tightly strung nerves anyways).It was a real worry to me because my car has part of a taillight out and thus would be easily spotted.I felt like going even faster,but decided if someone really was following me still,they would not want to pass me if I slowed down.Hence I slowed down to 50,and a big ole pickup blew right past me!Talk about relief!!!

Immediately after,I picked up speed again.No one was behind me at all and that's the way I wanted it!Thankfully,I made it home safe-n-sound. [A bit too much adrenaline rushing through me though.]I got my husband to help me carry in the children,told him my tale,called to make sure my mom was ok,told her my tale,now here I am telling you all.

One good thing:my mom thinks she'll lock her door from now on when my dad is away.[Remember her reasoning:she wasn't worried because everyone on her street was older...]

I'm sure thankful for my husband;I know this wouldn't have happened had he been with me.Furthermore,with his military police background,nothing seems to miss his observation and analysis.

I told myself perhaps he was just a lonely man wanting company,but no respectable man would approach a woman like that-would he?What do you think?

Thanks friends for bearing with me on this excessively long post.I shall now endeavor to fall asleep,

God bless,In His love,In His Care,In His Hands-am I ever.~~~Tracy~~~ Have I been extremely silly over this or what?

-- Tracy Jo Neff (tntneff@ifriendly.com), November 03, 2000

Answers

I think maybe I have been quite silly,and now all my forum friends know it!!!Eek!

Blessings,~Tracy~

-- Tracy Jo Neff (tntneff@ifriendly.com), November 03, 2000.

Hi Tracy ~ Yeah, that does sound scary! I think it's very probable he was looking for a sexual liason, and when you said "No" (in effect), he probably did leave and go looking elsewhere. That said, you were absolutely right to be very cautious. I think you should have gone into the highway patrol station and reported it, even if it was "nothing". At the very least, you probably would have gotten an escort home.

I know you're pretty jangled right now, and I'm sorry if this adds to it, but please be more cautious about being "helpful" -- I read somewhere that one very "successful" serial killer got his victims by pretending to need help (wore a leg cast or something similar). It doesn't hurt to be cautious. If this man had turned out to be someone that you did know, you could always apologize later, explaining that you didn't recognize him in the dark. Think about getting a cell phone.

You didn't actually say this, but I assumed you were worrying about your mom too, living in an elderly neighborhood. Such a neighborhood could be a target. She should lock her doors.

If you're still up and reading this, go drink some chamomile tea to help your nerves. I'm glad you're alright (except for your nerves!).

-- Joy Froelich (dragnfly@chorus.net), November 03, 2000.

Tracy, don't worry about any of us thinking your silly; it is better to voice your fears, get them out in the open, and then be able to better face them, than to keep them locked inside. After analysing all the evidence, and time of day, and having a rough idea of where you were, I'd say he thought you were a prostitute; his car, his demeanor, his voice, all point to a man looking to buy sex. I don't mean to insult you by saying this, but is this a possibility? Annie in SE OH.

-- Annie Miller (annie@1st.net), November 03, 2000.

Thanks Joy!I'm still up-finding it hard to sleep.You're right-I should've reported this guy.I pray he is not allowed to cause any harm.Tea...good idea!You forum people are wonderful,God Bless,~~Tracy~~

-- Tracy Jo Neff (tntneff@ifriendly.com), November 03, 2000.

Oops.Didn't refresh before I left my message to Joy.Annie,no offense taken.I figure I would be an unusual looking prostitute.Weight not what it should be,no makeup on other than mascara,wearing a navy blue t-shirt(not too tight),my hair put up...that's part of why I assumed this gentlemanly looking older man had no seedy intentions in pulling up to my car.He sure did speak as if I was however.Oh horrors,what if there is a prostitute in that town that looks like me?!!nervous lol!I do recall hearing somewhere that alot of prostitutes keep their skin light so as to look younger. My skin is so pale it glows in the moonlight.Anyways,I have tea calling me... Goodnight,~Tracy~ ps-I'm feeling much calmer now.Thanks for caring!!!

-- Tracy Jo Neff (tntneff@ifriendly.com), November 03, 2000.

Tracy, no, you were not being silly. And you did the right thing by pulling in at the police station, though I agree that you should have gone in and told them what had happened. I had something like that happen one night as I was going into town to get my girls from a youth fellowship -- two men in a pick-up truck rode my bumper for almost two miles, honking at me, flashing their lights, followed me all the way through town. Coming out the other side, there happened to be a police car at an intersection -- he saw the truck on my bumper (literally only a couple of feet from my car) and pulled out behind them, and they instantly dropped back to a decent distance. When I was picking the girls up, I told what had happened, and later another mother told me a truck had done the same thing to her and her daughter on their way home that night. My husband told me if that ever happened again, to drive straight to the police station. And re: older men. Our oldest daughter was molested by a trusted neighbor when she was about eight. The man was seventy four years old, had had triple by-pass surgery, showed registered sheep, and was a 4-H leader to two clubs. I don't trust anybody anymore, no matter what their age. That's scriptural, too -- God tells us to trust no man, but to trust in Him. Anyway, He protected you through your experience, and I hope you had a good nights rest!

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), November 03, 2000.

Tracy, I don't think you're being silly at all. What you went through is one of the worst feelings. It's a terrible feeling to be scared and you had every reason to be. Now a days, it's hard to tell if someone is "innocent" or going to harm you. You were smart to pull up to the highway patrol building and keep an eye out for his car. Most people get into trouble by not being aware enough. Sounds like your nerves are a little rattled, but I'm so thankful you're ok.

-- Annie (mistletoe@earthlink.net), November 03, 2000.

Tracy, you are NOT being silly or over-reacting!! I got chills just reading about your experience. I would have been scared to death, especially with children in the car!!

Praise God, you made it home safely. Thanks for sharing with us, and giving us all a much needed reminder to be alert while driving!

Blessings, Debbie.

-- Debbie Fornari (heritageacres@yahoo.com), November 03, 2000.

Tracy:

I'm a 38-year old married woman with 2 and 4-yr. old daughters. Earlier this year I got my concealed carry permit, a special purse designed to conceal a pistol, and I NEVER leave home without it. Understand that I'm a Quaker (a denomination normally pacifistic in its beliefs), and I don't really like guns at all. However, living out in the country, and having kooks like you experienced everywhere, I'm eternally thankful for that pistol.

You might consider doing the same, if you can obtain a concealed carry in your area. You have NO IDEA the feeling of security that comes with having a 38 snub-nosed revolver in your possession at all times.

Thank God you're safe.

-- Patrice (dldesigns@wave.net), November 03, 2000.

Whenever you have something like this happen-REPORT IT!!Yes the cops will probably make you feel silly, but so what. It will be in their records.This guy could very well have been a serial rapist or worse.

I worked in a shelther for battered women & rape victims.Whenever I went home from the shelter late at night, I would watch to see if anyone followed me.I would take different routes home on different nights too.I lived out in the country, so there were alot of turnoffs, and I could tell if someone was going the same way as me.One night someone followed me the whole way til my very last turnoff abt a quarter mile from my driveway. I was scared and determined I would go back to town rather than turn off into my driveway,If he was still following.But then he turned off at the last one. Guess he knew the back way home, as well!! But, I didn't feel silly at all, just careful.Husband worked in Maximum security prison. Learned all kinds of things.He always told me NEVER to stop for anyone when alone, not even a cop....He knew inmates that had used this ploy to get women to stop, then raped & murdered them.He said always drive to a well lit public place first. So you did the right thing in being suspicious. You was not silly at all, just prudent and realistic.This is the world we live in,for better or worse.

And like the post above said,being an old guy does't make someone harmless.

-- sharon wt (wildflower@ekyol.com), November 03, 2000.

Good move to go to the police station! Smartest thing you could have done. You have every right to be shook up. It's a bad world out there anymore and there are enough predators we all need to be careful. John

-- John in S. IN (jsmengel@hot mail.com), November 04, 2000.

My husband and I had a similar experience in the mountains one vacation trip - with my hubby's long hair, he was probably mistaken for a chic. In any case, a trucker (semi truck) kept getting in front of us, then slowing down to about 45 or less, flashing his turn signal at us. At first I thought that his truck was somehow "off" and he was simply letting us know to go around, but after we went around, he'd rev up, pass us, then do it again. Once, when we were passing, he paced us, then rubbed his fingers together in the universal sign for money. As if. We slowed down like we were going to turn into a rest stop and when he was committed to the turn, we took off. Never saw him again, thank God. Nice to know that folks in a huge vehicle like that engage in such appearently random weirdness, eh? You may feel silly afterwards, but feeling anything means you're still alive.

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), November 04, 2000.

Thanks so much for al the responses...I hope to never have to go through anything like that again!God bless you all,and thanks so much for being such a wonderful group of people,~~~Tracy~~~

-- Tracy Jo Neff (tntneff@ifriendly.com), November 06, 2000.

in my car i carry a gun, a cell phone, two dogs and i stay aware at all times. one afternoon this last summer while resting in the back of my car in a park working on quilt squares (it's a big wagon, i had the liftgate open, dogs not with me) i was approached my a nice all american looking middle aged white guy, who after some small talk about the weather asked for oral sex. i said no thanks, and get away from my car. he said come on, i'll pay you. i slid the barrel of my gun out from under the stack of quilt blocks and asked him if he'd like me to fix that little testosterone problem for him! God did not make men and women equal, Glock did.

-- juno redleaf (gofish@presys.com), November 07, 2000.